summerinthesky

I have been sober over five months and cannot say enough about the AA program in my recovery. I am having difficulty with something I learned recently. I don't want to go to my sponsor with this yet, because...Well, I don't know why. I am hoping I can find some good advice here, and speak to my sponsor about this issue soon.

My mother has been going to AA for four months. I helped to ease her into the program and she started to go to my home meeting. My mother drank four to five beers a night for as long as I can remember. She has repeatedly told me while in the program, that she doesn't crave alcohol at all. Good for her, right?

I wasn't able to attend my sister's Easter dinner due to working. My sister recently told me that she caught my mother in a huge lie the night of her dinner. She also mentioned that my mother drank the night of her dinner. My sister had hard cider she was drinking and my mom asked to try some. My sister said, "No. It has alcohol in it." My mother replied, "That's okay, it won't hurt me." And filled up a small glass and drank it.

I KNOW it is not my place to judge someone else's program, but... WHAT?!
I am struggling with what to do when I see my mother next. She should have celebrated her four months last Sunday, but I want to give her a 24 hour medallion when I see her tomorrow.

As far as I understand, one of the cornerstones of AA is honesty.

I am having difficulty right now trying to figure out what the best course of action is. Or should it be inaction? I don't know. I have been praying daily about this, and am not feeling any more reassured about which path I should take. I would really appreciate advice, and am very open to hearing what someone else did in a similar situation.

Thank you for your time and welcome everyone.

ScottFromWI

One of the cornerstones of AA is honesty, true - but only as it applies to you - being honest with yourself and honest with those around you regarding your sobriety. You have no control over your mother's actions or honesty, just as you have no control over her sobriety. I'd personally not do anyhing and let her deal with the consequences of her own actions/inactions.

least

I agree with Scott. Let her be responsible for her actions. You can't be honest for her, it has to come from her.

summerinthesky

Thank you for the replies. I have thought of that myself, but want her to be honest. In our relationship I have put up with too many of her manipulations and lies. I was so hopeful that she could find positive change within this program. I will keep praying.
Thank you for your advice. I do appreciate the help.

"Thy will, not mine, be done."...

sugarbear1

One of the most difficult things to do is to help a close friend or relative get sober......

Focus on you, maybe switch up your meetings a bit and remember we share in a general way during meetings, but we get intimate with our sponsor.