DesperadoBlond

I am almost 5 months sober and had the weirdest thing happen to me today.

Last night I went on a hot date. Something I haven't done at all since I am sober. This guy has been bugging me to go out for a long time now and I figured I'd be ready for expanding my social horizons. The evening was fun and there was no drama/ no drinking. Dating, for me, used to involve profuse amounts of drinking. Towards the end of my drinking career I would be entirely sloshed even before I stepped out the door.

I went to bed feeling happy and had the feeling I needed to "unwind" a bit.

This morning I woke up with the most horrible hangover-like head ache. And my body hurt too all over. I couldn't get up until 3 pm.

At first I thought I was sick, the flu? But no, it was a "total hang over". And suddenly the thought struck me - is there such a thing as a phantom hang over? Does your body and brain connect things you used to do, that were related to heavy drinking, and serve you a hang over to go, even when you've cut the drinking part out of the equation?

Will this get better?

Ghostlight

That brings back memories. I once woke up going, 'ohhh what did I do'.
But I hadn't drank the night before. Maybe it was just and automatic reaction, but it sure was weird.

BuddinK

I had something like that on Sunday, I called it a hangover flashback. didn't want to wake up, couldn't focus eyes and teeth were fuzzy. After a shower it went away, but was still eerie seeing I hadn't had a drink in 3 weeks that day.

DesperadoBlond

Hi you!

Interesting!

Well, for me, this is the first time I have had a "hang over" day like this since I quit drinking.

The "hang over" I had today was not subtle in any way, it was really one of those "physically cannot get out of bed"-hang overs. Waking up with that kind of head ache in sobriety just doesn't happen normally, does it?

ReadyAtLast

Did you feel ok last night?

ScottFromWI

I can't say i've ever had a total "ghost hangover' but I still have a lot of days that I feel like i'm walking around in a daze, or my mind just wants to veg out at random. I've had checkups and bloodwork and everything looks fine, but still feeling out of it at times at around 3 months sober. I guess that many years of abuse just takes time to repair.

If you have major concerns about it by all means see a doctor.

DesperadoBlond

Hi ReadyAtLast!

Yeah, I was feeling fine last night!

I did think, several times tho last night, "wow, I thought I'd never be able to go on a date without being totally drunk".

And I did get a lot of drinking flashbacks during the evening, though over all there is nothing negative at all to be said about last night.

Perhaps I even had a tiny voice in my head whispering " in the old days you would pay dearly with a major hang over for having this much fun."

Also, I had a big time relapse dream in the night.

ReadyAtLast

That's good. Maybe it was psychological and the good old AV trying to convince you to drink next time-'if you're going to get a hangover you might as well drink'it's saying

Maybe the worry/stress about a first date and the drinking situation caused the headache or you may be coming down with flu.Hope youfeel better soon

DesperadoBlond

Thanks!!!

Yeah, no flu here tho.

I talked to two fellow AAs where I live, who know me, and both said: sounds totally normal. They call it an "emotional hang over."

AdanteFornax

When I was drinking I used to get up early and be active and productive.

No sober, it takes me an age to get out of bed and I wake up fuzzy headed. Probably just the dregs of things leaving my system. But I'd rather this than drinking anyday

mecanix

I think sober people call them having a bad day and feeling a bit under the weather .
I tend to have one every 4 to 6 weeks, sometimes not helped if i've overdone the coffee trying to perk myself up .

Bestwishes, M

sugarbear1

Our cells and neurons have memories. Could have been a physical thing like when an amputee still has phantom pain in a limb they no longer have.

We also tend to push our emotions inside of us. Could have been an emotional hangover.

Everything KEEPS getting better!!!

Stay strong, stay stopped, and work those steps for freedom and relief!!!

DesperadoBlond

Hi Sugarbear!

Yeah, OK, I guess my curiosity is satisfied. My dating life used to be VERY closely related to extreme drinking behavior and so The explanation must be that my body and mind expected a hang over and that's what brought this on.

So I'll try to leave this episode at that and not wallow in any more self seeking over this.

On most days, sobriety is wonderful. And this morning when I couldn't get out of bed, my thoughts were: "OK, I have a huge head ache, but if I manage to keep my head still just like this, it doesn't hurt so much, and now that I am sober and working (freelance, so hours are flexible) and paying my own rent, I can afford to lay here and relax for a couple of extra hours without having to justify anything to anyone."

littlefish

It could be the stress from going on your first sober date. I always forget that stress is a real thing. I make the assumption that oh, no, not me, I don't get stressed. But stress can make me feel like crap and sleep poorly.
Stress will definitely cause a headache.
Just a thought.

DesperadoBlond

Hi Littlefish!

Yeah, you are right. I too tend to forget that stress is a real thing.

sugarbear1

also drink more water. gatorade helps, too

if you drank soda last nite, that can be dehydrating you (the salt and other things--potassium in the bicarbonate)

wanttobepure

It could be Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW). You can find info about it on the Internet or Terence T. Gorski explains it well in his books. I've learned a lot about addiction and recovery from his books.

DesperadoBlond

So, I talked face to face with my sponsor about this this morning.

Sponsor says (in a kind way): Yeah, I told you, no hot dates/dates/not so hot dates before 9th step. What you experienced is what we call an "emotional hang over." It's known to exist.

Me: But I thought non-serious dating was OK.

Sponsor: Not a good idea at this stage. I'm not telling you what to do, but I am advising against any kind of emotional entanglement before step 9.

So that's that then. Just proves something I already know - my sponsor is right and I can avoid all kinds of pain by not second guessing. It's a tough one to swallow for someone who is used to deciding about their own life and never listening to anyone. But here, once again, the proof is right in front of me.

This makes me wonder who this sponsor person really is? A person that my Higher Power put in my path in order to recover?