KeyHeart

Morning. I'm worried about the point in the future when the excitement of being sober wears off, when the honeymoon's over. It's all so nice now, being congratulated, friends and family asking about my recovery and offering support, the sparkly happy non-hungover mornings...
But one day-soon, I fear- not being hungover will be the norm. Friends and family will no longer blurt out "I'm so proud of you!" Life as I know it will go from "changing for the better," to "This is what it is."
I guess at this point I'm "drunk" on "being sober." And I'm feeling trepidation.
I just wanted to share.
I love this site!

Nonsensical

Sober math is new to you

There is more than one way to inspire others. Find the others that drinking hid from you.

KeyHeart

Thank you! What a strange, difficult, rewarding process this all is!

2granddaughters

My old AA sponsor told me that I shouldn't be congratulated for doing what I should have been doing in the first place.

Sober/normal is becoming comfortable.

All the best.

Bob R

Grymt

Two ascetics see an old man walking along a path with a load of firewood on back.
They see he is an enlightened one.
''Old man, what is enlightenment like?''
Old man puts down load.
''Aha'' ''We understand. What is life like after enlightenment.?''
Old man picks up load and keeps walking.

leastofthese

Keyheart,

I too have thought about the "other side" of recovery. For me, it means looking at why I drank. Caroline Knapp in Drinking: A Love Story sums it up for me:

Not drinking … meant acknowledging certain truths: that self-destruction would have served no one, least of all me; that medicating those emotions wouldn't resolve or alter them; that, ultimately, the drink provided a futile, self-defeating solution. Alcohol is what shielded me all those years from the messy business of standing in that room with my own emotions, coming to terms with my own quiet, restrained, complicated heritage, finding ways to tend to my own needs, instead of waiting for others to jump in and tend to them for me. In a word, alcohol is what protected me from growing up.

Taking5

I think our sponsors shared the same lineage some time back, I was told the exact same thing.

Back to the OP, Yes the attention of of your newfound sobriety will wane, but doing the right thing is its own reward.

doggonecarl

I didn't leave my wife when the "honeymoon" was over; I'm not going to leave my sober life just because the initial rush of recovery has waned.

Like Taking 5 said, sobriety has its own reward. It's not a feeling. Chasing feelings and wanting to feel "good" all the time is what got us here.

FeenixxRising

Accolades from other are always nice, but there's no reason why you can pat yourself on the back everday for the rest of your life.

Anna

I think in some ways I was lucky because I never had the pink cloud/honeymoon period when I stopped drinking. I was filled with so much shame and regret that it was all I could do to slowly begin to chip away at the problems in my life. So, each day, each week, things got better.

It's great that you have a good support system, but remember that ultimately, you are doing this for yourself and you are worth it.

shauninspain

It is true that other people may not congratulate you so often. However, you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror every morning and say, to yourself, 'I am a sober person today, and I am so proud of myself'. And as life unfolds, you will be always aware that none of the good things that you are experiencing would not have been possible if you had not stopped drinking. After all we get sober, ultimately, for ourselves.

Ptcapote

Like Anna, I also have not had a pink cloud. I did so many things that I regret when drunk that, for me, at least for now, sobriety is about re-learning how to live as decent human being instead of a self-centered ass. It's not about beating myself up, although that certainly IS tempting at times, but more about remembering the 5,000+ reasons (including people I have hurt) that I can never, ever drink again. I also didn't tell many people because the last thing I wanted was someone saying to me, "Congratulations and how awesome for you! You're no longer acting like an untrustworthy, selfish a**hole!!"

Maybe I am being a bit harsh and I think what others are saying is correct, too. And maybe you were not the destructive drunk that I was and can enjoy the congratulations because you managed to stop before you did a lot of serious damage. If that is the case, then a serious congratulations are in order indeed. I sure wish I had.

In either regard, thanks for the post and keep on keeping on, KeyHeart!

KeyHeart

I nearly killed my baby when I took him for a walk blackout drunk and loaded on pills. His first ambulance ride. I've OD'd three times. I've stolen pills from people who needed them. Cheated. Lied. It's been a rough time. I did a LOT of serious damage.

Ptcapote

Sorry, KeyHeart, didn't mean to imply that you had any less of an awful experience or that you shouldn't be proud of your sobriety...you most certainly should. And I am glad you have a support network around you, that is important. I also felt "physically" so much better once I was sober so I get being "drunk on being sober." For me, the mental process is a different road and I have a lot of guilt but I am finding support that works for me, thank God, in AA. But I certainly didn't mean to disparage you or your experience. Sobriety IS awesome. In all its forms

KeyHeart

The guilt, oh the guilt...

sugarbear1

Why not learn to live in this exact moment in time instead of living in the future or living in the past?

Make the most of each Now. It's a process and it can start now!

2granddaughters

KeyHeart, these are "The Promises" as found in AA's Big Book .. have you read them?:


THE A.A. PROMISES

"The spiritual life is not a theory, we have to live it.
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them."



The first time I heard those read at a meeting I knew I was right where I wanted to be.

All the best.

Bob R

ru12

Personally, I think that anytime an addict stops using it is a cause for celebration. Normal behavior for an alcoholic is to drink. When one finds a way to stop I will always put my hands together for them.

2granddaughters

We're talking about when the honeymoon is over ... not the wedding night.

All the best.

Bob R

ru12

We are talking about recovery.