Skyhawk172

...that I have a problem.

About 3 days ago, it finally hit me that all the rationalization I've been doing for quite some time was all a lie. Sad thing is, I had a wake up call a few years back, quit drinking for 6 weeks and decided that I could drink socially again. I did for a while, but alcohol became a coping mechanism again. Easier to numb my mind than deal with life's issues head-on.

So anyway, 3 days ago I finally admitted that there was no such thing as moderation for me as long as I have limited abilities to cope with stress and am still having a difficult time dealing with past events. I decided to not pick up that daily bottle/6 pack/box on the way home from work. I stopped pretending that I can control my alcohol consumption at this point in my life. If I don't drink the first one, I won't have number two or number seven. That simplifies it quite a bit for me!

Sad thing is, I feel empty right now. Toughest part of the day for me is the evening or night time right after work. I dread having to try to get to sleep, knowing I won't be able to speed up that process though self-medicating anymore... I feel like I lost a friend, even though consciously I know this is for the better, and that this will soon pass.

junk33

those first few drinks right after work are always the toughest for me as well ..im only now starting to be able to get some decent sleep and im at 21 days , it got progressively longer to feel better the more times i attempted to quit ..itll get better like you say, hang in there

Dee74

Hi and welcome Skyhawk

I think it's perfectly normal to feel a little empty - if you're like me alcohol's been a part of your life (and your #1 go to problem solver) for a long time.

It's like ending a bad relationship in a lot of ways - you know it had to happen, and you're glad of it, but you also know what a wrench it is to move on...and it's scary walking into the unknown.

It will work out tho - trust me. Good things - great things even - are ahead

D

shauninspain

Welcome to SR Skyhawk. After work, immediately log on the the site and read/post/read/post.... It's surprising how effective it is at replacing the drink. Keeping the mind occupied and focused on something positive is vital, I believe, in the early days.

javamama

Welcome, I'm also new here, day 2 here..tried to quit too many times to count. The night time is hardest for me, I don't crave it unless I'm sitting down relaxing, it's when I would have my wine. I hope it gets better..and I'm sure it will.

visch1

Welcome, you can have a wonderful journey getting and being sober. It’s work and takes time which I hated to hear. It’s great to see your realization as opposed to so many of our/my denial when getting here. I needed a bunch, hundreds, of meetings those first 90 days, along with so many suggestions like get active, get a sponsor, stay out of slippery places, KEEP COMING and if you don’t pick up the first drink you DON’T have to get sober AGAIN. BE WELL

least

Admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it. I'm glad you joined us.

Skyhawk172

Thanks, all!

Today starts day #4 free from alcohol... Last time I got to this point, I didn't feel that I had a problem and "rewarded" myself by going out to the casino for dinner and drinks. Not this time. For me, I know the only real answer at this point is not in controlling it, but avoiding it all together.

2granddaughters

The only way that I could find to get sober, stay sober and enjoy living sober was join AA.

If you find that controlling and avoiding aren't working too well you might be an alcoholic of my sort.

All the best.

bob R

Hevyn

Welcome to the family Skyhawk! Congratulations for making this life changing decision.

I definitely felt the same emptiness in the very beginning. I was sorry for myself and almost went through a grieving period. I was thankful to be free of it, though - and eventually the feelings of hope and renewed enthusiasm for life took over. We are learning to live again in a new way, and there is life after alcohol. Be patient with yourself - you're doing a great thing.

Anna

Yes! That's it!

It really is easier for alcoholics to stop drinking, than to control their drinking. Recovering however, often takes quite a bit of inside work. I'm really glad you made the decision to stop drinking.

duane1

We all feel empty in the beginning. Just trust that it will be filled by other things the longer you stay sober.

Odelle

Total avoidance of people, places and events is what I have embraced and it is helping me! I have found solace here at SR, among those who understand the difficulty of resisting the urges in early sobriety and offer encouragement and words of wisdom to help you stay the course. I will be sober 8 weeks tomorrow and can tell you that the emptiness, sadness, fatigue and insomnia will wane with time, and you will find increasing strength and determination with each passing day.

HealingMySoul

Congratulations!! Denial is a mother isn't it? I remember my day of realization also. Whenever you feel like getting a drink, come back to this post and read what you wrote to bring your mind back to this place.
You are strong and can do this! I know I don't know you but I am SO proud of you!!!