Ideas for remembering the "bad aspects of drinking..."
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Tennessee... The mountainous side.
Posts: 157
Ideas for remembering the "bad aspects of drinking..."
For those of us who haven't had the DUI, are still hanging on to our family and patient forgiving spouses and families, and God willing haven't had that drastic medical wake up call...
Are there those in recovery who could offer some ideas (in addition to meetings, etc... this is more for personal reflection) to remember the bad times, bad hangovers, and our initial resolution and self awareness we were alcoholic and needed to quit drinking all together?
This has been a particularly rough few days post-binge for me. I am finally over withdrawals but am still experiencing some physical and mental negative aspects (lack of sleep, stomach upset, depression, tiredness from lack of sleep, bad short dreams, etc...).
I have been here before and remember standing in the shower praying "God help me to remember how I feel so I can move on for good..." When I did, briefly, I felt so much better. But, I always seem to forget. My mind tricks me. I need to trick my mind.
Any ideas on daily routines and physical or mental journaling, inventorying, etc... would be greatly appreciated.
I am bound and determined to make my last 1st day a few days ago. Thanks for the support you all offer here.
Are there those in recovery who could offer some ideas (in addition to meetings, etc... this is more for personal reflection) to remember the bad times, bad hangovers, and our initial resolution and self awareness we were alcoholic and needed to quit drinking all together?
This has been a particularly rough few days post-binge for me. I am finally over withdrawals but am still experiencing some physical and mental negative aspects (lack of sleep, stomach upset, depression, tiredness from lack of sleep, bad short dreams, etc...).
I have been here before and remember standing in the shower praying "God help me to remember how I feel so I can move on for good..." When I did, briefly, I felt so much better. But, I always seem to forget. My mind tricks me. I need to trick my mind.
Any ideas on daily routines and physical or mental journaling, inventorying, etc... would be greatly appreciated.
I am bound and determined to make my last 1st day a few days ago. Thanks for the support you all offer here.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Paddler 
For those of us who haven't had the DUI, are still hanging on to our family and patient forgiving spouses and families, and God willing haven't had that drastic medical wake up call....
While remembering the bad times should keep us sober, I don't see it as an effective recovery tool. That's me. You want to journal, journal away. You have a number of posts that should help remember the reasons you are quitting. Did they help?
I think a recovery program that gives you the tools to live sober is more effective. Again, just my opinion.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
'Playing the tape through' was something I did a lot early on. Every time I thought about drinking I would just think about how it would make me feel, how I would enjoy the first few but start regretting it as I got drunker and how awful I'd feel the next day, and then I would have to drink to make myself feel better...
I didn't have any serious consequences from my drinking, some health problems but not life threatening, and a load of anxiety problems, but because it was all stuff only I was aware of it made it easier to dismiss them sometimes. Telling other people about my commitment to quitting drinking and the reasons why consolidated it for me a lot. I wouldn't want to lose face
But more than anything it has been my commitment to not drink, no matter what happens, which has been the biggest help. Even if I think that drinking is an excellent idea and there wouldn't be any negative consequences at all, I just don't do it.
I didn't have any serious consequences from my drinking, some health problems but not life threatening, and a load of anxiety problems, but because it was all stuff only I was aware of it made it easier to dismiss them sometimes. Telling other people about my commitment to quitting drinking and the reasons why consolidated it for me a lot. I wouldn't want to lose face
But more than anything it has been my commitment to not drink, no matter what happens, which has been the biggest help. Even if I think that drinking is an excellent idea and there wouldn't be any negative consequences at all, I just don't do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Tennessee... The mountainous side.
Posts: 157
thanks Carl. I do realize both drastic and non-drastic reasons to quit don't really correlate when it comes to alcoholism and it's ability to rejuvenate in long term recovers and short term "newbies".
I went through and read all of my posts from the past. That did help me last night.
Again, I've placed myself in a couple of different recovery options. So perhaps, that's all I need... I've learned from this site everyone recovers differently. What "clicks" in some might be different than in others. I'm just seeking to build an arsenal as a person truly dedicated to quitting but has experienced some trouble. I truly appreciate the advice.
I went through and read all of my posts from the past. That did help me last night.
Again, I've placed myself in a couple of different recovery options. So perhaps, that's all I need... I've learned from this site everyone recovers differently. What "clicks" in some might be different than in others. I'm just seeking to build an arsenal as a person truly dedicated to quitting but has experienced some trouble. I truly appreciate the advice.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Most of us could go back and read our earliest posts for a reminder of how bad we felt. We showed up here in a bad way and it comes through in our writing.
Our brains have evolved to forget painful things. It's a survival mechanism. However, I have found I don't need to remember how bad I felt in order to defeat the feeling of wanting to drink again. In other words, I don't try to fight a feeling with a different feeling.
Instead, I have to recall that when my brain was functioning rationally, devoid of alcohol and cravings, I decided to never drink again. I have to be smarter than my feeling (craving) - which is quite easy, since all my craving can do is crave. He's a one trick pony, while the thinking part of me has infinite possibilities.
Our brains have evolved to forget painful things. It's a survival mechanism. However, I have found I don't need to remember how bad I felt in order to defeat the feeling of wanting to drink again. In other words, I don't try to fight a feeling with a different feeling.
Instead, I have to recall that when my brain was functioning rationally, devoid of alcohol and cravings, I decided to never drink again. I have to be smarter than my feeling (craving) - which is quite easy, since all my craving can do is crave. He's a one trick pony, while the thinking part of me has infinite possibilities.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by hypochondriac
but more than anything it has been my commitment to not drink, no matter what happens, which has been the biggest help. Even if i think that drinking is an excellent idea and there wouldn't be any negative consequences at all, i just don't do it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi Paddler...this is the routine I follow every day, and 10 months in, so far so good...
I wake up, get ready for work and read and post on SR while I'm drinking my coffee. I'm in the class of May and probably drive them all nuts, but I've done it every day since I've joined and they have put up with me so far!!
I go for a cigarette outside (I know, dreadful habit, but I can't seem to kick that one)..and I say the serenity prayer to myself.
Driving to work, I pray. About anything and anything.
At lunchtime I pop onto SR if I've got time, and usually swap PMs with friends.
After work, and after sorting out all the household stuff, 3 nights a week I'm out at meetings or with my sponsor. When I'm home I'm back on SR for a catch up with friends.
Every night, I write my own gratitude list. My job is stressful and I don't sleep well and this focuses my mind and helps me reach a place of peace. I never have trouble getting to sleep after doing this, although I do wake frequently.
This ritual has become like 2nd nature to me. It doesn't worry me unduly if something happens to break it, if I go away or have people stay, or the Internet stops working etc. But I kind of like it. It is reassuring and keeps my sobriety uppermost in my mind.
Hope this helps x
I wake up, get ready for work and read and post on SR while I'm drinking my coffee. I'm in the class of May and probably drive them all nuts, but I've done it every day since I've joined and they have put up with me so far!!
I go for a cigarette outside (I know, dreadful habit, but I can't seem to kick that one)..and I say the serenity prayer to myself.
Driving to work, I pray. About anything and anything.
At lunchtime I pop onto SR if I've got time, and usually swap PMs with friends.
After work, and after sorting out all the household stuff, 3 nights a week I'm out at meetings or with my sponsor. When I'm home I'm back on SR for a catch up with friends.
Every night, I write my own gratitude list. My job is stressful and I don't sleep well and this focuses my mind and helps me reach a place of peace. I never have trouble getting to sleep after doing this, although I do wake frequently.
This ritual has become like 2nd nature to me. It doesn't worry me unduly if something happens to break it, if I go away or have people stay, or the Internet stops working etc. But I kind of like it. It is reassuring and keeps my sobriety uppermost in my mind.
Hope this helps x
Nothing Left to do but Smile.
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 808
Generally, If the craving of alcohol comes along I stop it in it's tracks. I just say, no way am I having a drink. No way. No chance. It shuts down my alcoholic voice pretty quickly when I do this. I also don't think of it as just one drink because I know that's a lie. I drank to get drunk and that is the way I was and will always be. I realize that and so it is never a just one drink thing for me.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
" I drank to get drunk and that is the way I was and will always be." that was a real pivotal thing for me. Then it became easy to not drink. The hard thing is, for me, to learn to live sober, and if I want to do that I have to not drink. The progressiveness of the dis ease is knowable in two ways, waste time and life to have enough reminders to last a lifetime or while still in relatively good shape to push through the subtle and not so subtle things that triggers and primes a relapse through a study of the wisdom of those who have f'd up far more and ipso facto henceforth always seek ways to get through it sober. Each sober step on that path is, theoretically for me, one more reason dealt with and in the past and gotten through in a short time rather than a long time. Take the long way and you'll end up in the same place except all that's left is sometimes to exhort others to not do as I did.
I guess you have to choose what is the easier path. I think you are smart enough to imagine which one that is in the fullness of time.
edit added a bit at the end and made it a bit more readable. Tho I tend to get a bit verbose sometimes. Anyway, I'm glad the meaning is clear enough as is.
I guess you have to choose what is the easier path. I think you are smart enough to imagine which one that is in the fullness of time.
edit added a bit at the end and made it a bit more readable. Tho I tend to get a bit verbose sometimes. Anyway, I'm glad the meaning is clear enough as is.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Tennessee... The mountainous side.
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by Grymt
" I drank to get drunk and that is the way I was and will always be." that was a real pivotal thing for me. Then it became easy to not drink. The hard thing is, for me, to learn to live sober, and if I want to do that I have to not drink. The progressiveness of the dis ease is knowable in two ways, waste time and life to have enough reminders to last a lifetime or while still in relatively good shape to push through the subtle and not so subtle things that triggers and primes a relapse through a study of the wisdom of those who have f'd up far more and ipso facto henceforth always seek ways to get through it sober. Each sober step on that path, theoretically for me, is one reason dealt with and in the past and gotten through in a short time rather than a long time. Take the long way and you'll end up in the same place except all that's left is sometimes to exhort others to not do as I did.
To all of you, really.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Originally Posted by deeker View Post
We drank for happiness and became unhappy.
We drank for joy and became miserable.
We drank for sociability and became argumentative.
We drank for sophistication and became obnoxious.
We drank for friendship and made enemies.
We drank for sleep and awakened without rest.
We drank medicinally and acquired health problems.
We drank for relaxation and got the shakes.
We drank for bravery and became afraid.
We drank for confidence and became doubtful.
We drank to make our conversation easier and we slurred our speech.
We drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell.
We drank to forget and were forever haunted.
We drank for freedom and became slaves.
We drank to erase problems and saw them multiply.
We drank to cope with life and invited death.
We drank for happiness and became unhappy.
We drank for joy and became miserable.
We drank for sociability and became argumentative.
We drank for sophistication and became obnoxious.
We drank for friendship and made enemies.
We drank for sleep and awakened without rest.
We drank medicinally and acquired health problems.
We drank for relaxation and got the shakes.
We drank for bravery and became afraid.
We drank for confidence and became doubtful.
We drank to make our conversation easier and we slurred our speech.
We drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell.
We drank to forget and were forever haunted.
We drank for freedom and became slaves.
We drank to erase problems and saw them multiply.
We drank to cope with life and invited death.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Paddler:
I'm similar to you in that I didn't lose my job or my family, and my health was still in a salvageable state before I quit. I did get a DUI once, but that was many, many moons ago and not on my record anymore. So I did not hit "bottom" in the sense that many others have, and i'm very thankful for that.
The things I keep in my mind when I think about picking up another drink are the physical symptoms I was having ( horrible hangvers, wasted mornings or days at work because of them, etc ). I also think about all the time I spent around drinking that could have been better used with my family and kids. And I remember that when I quit for the first time last year ( for about 45 days ) that it only took about 3 months for me to be back drinking 4-8 beers a day and a 12 pack or more a day on the weekends.
Plus there's just the simple logic of it- I know I can't drink in moderation so I don't. Just like I don't drink gasoline or nail polish remover - it's poison to my body.
I'm similar to you in that I didn't lose my job or my family, and my health was still in a salvageable state before I quit. I did get a DUI once, but that was many, many moons ago and not on my record anymore. So I did not hit "bottom" in the sense that many others have, and i'm very thankful for that.
The things I keep in my mind when I think about picking up another drink are the physical symptoms I was having ( horrible hangvers, wasted mornings or days at work because of them, etc ). I also think about all the time I spent around drinking that could have been better used with my family and kids. And I remember that when I quit for the first time last year ( for about 45 days ) that it only took about 3 months for me to be back drinking 4-8 beers a day and a 12 pack or more a day on the weekends.
Plus there's just the simple logic of it- I know I can't drink in moderation so I don't. Just like I don't drink gasoline or nail polish remover - it's poison to my body.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
I think the gradual awareness that there actually were no good aspects made the final difference for me. If I didn't get disgustingly drunk, I got sloppy and tipsy. If I didn't skip eating, I would drunk eat and stuff my face. After one sip, the mood changes would come thundering in. After one sip, I could no longer depend on myself for anything.
Understanding that my drinking will never be normal like it is for other people helped me see that any "good aspects" was a delusion.
Understanding that my drinking will never be normal like it is for other people helped me see that any "good aspects" was a delusion.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Tennessee... The mountainous side.
Posts: 157
I want to thank you all. I know a few people I would classify as alcoholic who are refusing help. They just don't care and/or I rarely see them or don't wish to seek or trust their counsel. I don't have any family history of alcoholism. I come from a good family of healthy folks.
I don't have anyone to talk to and seek examples other than those I meet in AA meetings. And... as much as I'm trying to find a connection in meetings... I just am not.
I know I have a drinking problem. I know I can't just have one. I know I'm an alcoholic. I don't think I have to hit a bottom to stop. I want to stop before I hit a bottom. I'd like to die thinking stopping drinking at 33 was one of my life's greatest achievements.
I'm just trying to gather as much information as possible from all of the members on this forum who've waded through the rough waters before me and solved their own personal riddle.
There are times I feel ashamed of all my posts and log in's... and posts of success after a couple of weeks only to post of another failure. But I'm grateful for you all and sincerely do reflect on and process each comment on my questions and posts. Thank you.
I don't have anyone to talk to and seek examples other than those I meet in AA meetings. And... as much as I'm trying to find a connection in meetings... I just am not.
I know I have a drinking problem. I know I can't just have one. I know I'm an alcoholic. I don't think I have to hit a bottom to stop. I want to stop before I hit a bottom. I'd like to die thinking stopping drinking at 33 was one of my life's greatest achievements.
I'm just trying to gather as much information as possible from all of the members on this forum who've waded through the rough waters before me and solved their own personal riddle.
There are times I feel ashamed of all my posts and log in's... and posts of success after a couple of weeks only to post of another failure. But I'm grateful for you all and sincerely do reflect on and process each comment on my questions and posts. Thank you.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I spend time on SR every day reading..in the newbies section and remembering my early recovery. Sharing my experience with others. In the more "Specialty" forums here, reminding me daily of what the issues in addiction and recovery are. Every day I spend time here and am able to identify with SO many of the shares here, I stay humble and honest. I'm an addict/alcoholic, it IS as bad as all that. I WAS as bad as all that, but I am not now and being active on SR helps me not go there again.
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