trachemys

I've done it several times. Two ex-wives, several ex-friends. People that were keeping me in the lifestyle of drinking. I got rid of all of them until all I was left with was to divorce myself from drinking.

Now, that may seem antithetical to the alcoholic mantra. "I am the problem"

Untrue. You can want to be a sober person while others drag you down until you succumb to the physical addiction of alcohol.

Once I got rid of all of the outside influences, I was left with...me.

I got me under control. I figured out that my addiction was conquerable.

And I did that.

This weekend, I discovered that my two biggest supporters were my two biggest hurdles to happy sobriety. Sober and actively supportive of my parents in their dotage isn't good enough for them.

In sordid detail: I went to my parents house yesterday. Cut the grass for them. Helped get dinner for us all. Got up this morn and cooked Dad breakfast. Started on Sunday dinner.

The sister there calls the sister not there and the sister not there calls me.

"Mom, should not be in the kitchen peeling eggs!"

I didn't even know. "I didn't even know"

"Well, you need to get in the kitchen, finish the meal, and leave."

pause, by me

Fine.

I was shaking with rage. When my parents asked what was wrong, i told them. They tried to apologize but I told them where the insult lay.

I finished making their Sunday dinner, packed my truck and left. Took about an hour.

On the drive home, I had about an hour to think.

I divorced my sisters.

I have fought through hell and high water in the last month to free myself from alcohol. I am fighting through joblessness. I am fighting through toothlessness having just gotten dentures.

My parents have been totally supportive of me. My sisters...raging hormone (sisters). Done with it.

I Divorce my Sisters

avocado

yeah, people can really suck. I only keep people in my life who don't cause drama and problems for me. I see no reason to be involved with anyone who causes me problems. I don't care if it's family, friends or lovers. I'm not someone who values relationships enough to 'work at them' if they're causing trouble. It's not worth it.

trachemys

Sorry. y'all. May have been too much. Hell of a day.

Dee74

I'm not really sure I understand the specifics here...but I get the sentiment Trach.

I put daylight between myself and my family for a while...a few years in fact.

It was good for all concerned - now they don't bother me anywhere near as much and there's more respect all round

D

trachemys

Dee, a few years is in store.

Mizzuno

Yes, i do not speak with my mother, father or older sister. Toxic family situation that i am better off for. I didnt tell them that i was divorcing them. It was obvious from the get go. Sorry, for your rough day. Tomorrow is new for you.

LDT

I'm not sure I understand the specifics of your situation, but I do understand needing to divorce certain toxic family members. I'm in that exact situation myself. I think once we decide that nothing and no one can jeopardize our sobriety, we do what we have to to maintain it.

I'm sorry for your situation and wish you all the best!

trachemys

Thanks

least

I would divorce my sisters too if they behaved like that towards me.

trachemys

Thanks, least

soberlicious

Tell your sisters to mind their business. Your relationship with your parents is yours, not theirs.
To answer your question, yes I have most certainly divorced people. In the case of friends and lovers, I've gotten better at choosing. In the case of family, well we don't get to choose, so yes there are times separation is in order.

Hope you feel better. xo

Anna

Trac, I stepped away from my parents, especially my mother when I stopped drinking. She was an extremely toxic person and I made the right choice. Many of us have had to make such a decision and while it seems sad, it's the only for us to stay recovered.

cleargoals

I had to do this too recently with someone in my life. It still hurts sometimes.

Google Kübler-Ross model, the 5 stages of grief. It is natural to be angry. One day you will accept it. And still be sober despite all. That will give you so much strength. Something no-one can ever take away from you.

trachemys

Thanks, y'all.

I'm not the happiest camper on the planet right now. You're providing the support to keep on keeping on... that means a lot.

Snaggle

Trach - good for you. You don't need that. You can choose your friends but not your family eh? Haven't spoke to my sister for 3 months. Was a drain on me mentally and I had enough. Maybe a break will help your sisters to realise just how much you do for them and your parents. I have always been the one to make up with my sis after an argument. This last time I thought I would wait and see if she would contact me. She hasn't.

Goodluck - don't let your sisters affect your relationship with your parents - they are precious. Tell them to **** off. Sorry if that is blunt but their actions made me so cross. Take care xxxx

Ps I am divorced from my first husband but he left me due to my drinking ....

Huglets

I too had to put separation between myself and some family members Trach. I have 2 brothers who are heavy drinkers and they love to mock me and taunt me into drinking. I just stay away from them and focus on the positive family relationships.

Remember that you're fragile right now. It's OK to be selfish and do whatever you need to do to maintain your sobriety. Your relationship with your sisters may repair itself in the future, but right now put all of your energy into yourself. The rest will take care of itself.

Keep on this sobriety path. You CAN do it!

trachemys

I'm ok tday folks. Mad as hell but ok. I'll figure life out without my sisters. (you have no idea what it took to write or even think that). I've given up more and less in my life.