Mizzuno

Its evey night with the exception of last night. The mood was sour and not anything that i felt I needed to be around. He drinks nightly. I ask occasionally ask that maybe he will choose to not drink and we can watch a movie or something. I dont know. I guess I shouldn't care. Im not sure how supportive it is to drink in front of me every single night, he says that i need to tell him how I need support and maybe he can do it, maybe not. It just puts me in a bad mood. So, I was fine and happy until I got home. Now I am venting. What a bummer.
I just dont think that i would play things this way. I would have some concern as to how my husband was being affected by my nightly drinking. This is my problem though. What a F#####G BUMMER!!

2granddaughters

Are you still attending your meetings ?

All the best.

Bob R

Mizzuno

No, I suck (not really, just being dramatic). I am working and then coming here. I have this aversion. I need to get back in there. Will I be cured of this annoyance, that on occasion disrupts my serenity?

2granddaughters

If you go to the meetings you won't have to drink and your hubby won't bother you as much as he does.

How's that for a guarantee ??!!

All the best.

Bob R

Mizzuno

Yes, true. I wont have to drink. I am not drinking. I don't want to drink. Being around it all the time requires patience and understanding which I do not have at all times. I am just not feeling it tonight.

newhope01

Have you expressed how you feel to your husband yet? He may not know how it puts you into a bad mood every night when you get home. Maybe he can skip his nightcap for a while and if he can't that may raise a whole new issue that needs to be discussed.

Mizzuno

Im not sure he can skip his nightcap, if he could maybe I wouldnt be annoyed. Its hard to be around alcohol every night. It doesnt make me want to drink. It just makes me want to isolate. So, i am now in my room and writing into cyber space about a problem.

Acheleus

I hope you figure your problem out. Maybe a small compromise would help? Be well.

Fallow

Is he alcoholic?

deeker

Go get ur herb slinger and sling an herb his way. lol Sorry just read your Profile. What's an herb slinger by the way. ?? ohh ok you sell herbs.

Hang in there Mizzuno. At least you found a place to vent and tomorrow you can be proud of yourself that you didn't drink over this. You will get stronger. Unfortunately we are powerless over others and if you are gonna remain married you will have to come to some sort of Acceptance. Don't let him steal your peace and don't let your happiness be based on how he behaves day to day.

For a long time I looked to my hubby to make me happy and he just didn't make me happy and my expectations of him just brought me frustration and heartache. I had to start doing stuff that made me happy. Reading a good book, going to a nature preserve.

Going to see puppies at the SPCA. I had to learn to be comfortable being around only myself.

It helped meeting women in recovery. Doing simple stuff like going for coffee with others. When you are self fufilled you bring a better you to the situation.

I no longer look to my hubby to fufill me. If he does that is great but if not I have found other outlets to fill those needs. I wish you the best. I know the alcohol has got to be hard around you.

FreeFall

I know the popular sentiment is you have to do this for yourself but I agree with you-shouldn't someone that loves you that you're married to be more supportive and helpful? If the roles were reversed you would be supporting him so it's got to be frustrating. If he can stop, it would be great if he would give it up occasionally to show he's on your side. If he can't stop, it's going to be tough to deal with. Any chance of going to counseling?