Knuckleball

Hi, everyone. I've lurked for a while, but I decided to join now that I've decided to quit.

I'm on Day 10. To be honest, it was really hard for me to admit that this is where I'm at in life. I've been high functioning enough as an alcoholic that it was easy to kick the problem down the road. While I've been able to hold down a job and maintain (most of my) relationships with family and friends, I've been my own worst enemy for the past six years. I do worry about my health, and I'm quite ashamed that I let myself lose so much control.

So far, so good. It isn't easy, but the first 10 days have given a gift that has made it worthwhile. Time seems to have slowed down, which has given me the chance to see the life happening around me, rather than miss it through a wine-blind haze of being drunk every single night. Perhaps sometime soon I'll be ready to take more risks and participate in that life, but I'm not ready for that challenge yet.

Any advice or wisdom that any of you can offer to a newbie is greatly appreciated.

Panache

Hi Knuckleball!

I too am in the early stages of recovery (day 2) and I too am just getting through that before I begin finding out who I am away from wine. You've come to the right place for support, advice and brilliant people who know what you're going through.

Welcome to SR and hope to see you around the forum.

artsoul

Welcome Knuckleball and congratulations on getting sober!

I thought I was pretty "functional" too, but looking back after I quit drinking gave me a whole new perspective. Keep up the good work.... it gets easier as you go!

Grymt

Welcome. You write that the good thing is that you are noticing life and that you are not ready to participate in it yet.
What is this life you are noticing?
What life are you participating in?

Knuckleball

Mainly, I notice that there's a social world out there that I've been ignoring. I've been content to drink in front of the TV for about the past six years. As a result, I've missed out on the opportunity to make new friends, take on new hobbies, and get fit.

I realize that these are things that I've been denying myself for too long. Once I get past this initial hurdle and can function day to day instead of just surviving it, I want to do those things.

Grymt

Hmmm..Ok, thanks for answering....
Don't forget to smell the roses and take the TV outside and wrap it in a sheet, get a sledge hammer and start smashing.

Grymt

I wasn't kidding.I should explain. I got into a bit of a rut with fixing computers and realised part of me was strangely afraid of them so I got about five of them and a hammer and a light chisel and basically ripped each apart one after the other tossing the scraps over my shoulder to pick up later. My whole attitude changed by that rather daft thing. It can be helpful. If a thing is between you and life then change your relationship with that thing is what I'm possibly saying a bit too flippantly.

Knuckleball

Thanks. I'm attempting to take up running. So far, I haven't been sleeping well, so I'm constantly low energy during the day, which makes it hard to get off my butt and go. I'm trying to stay optimistic, though. This is my second attempt to quit drinking after a brief relapse.