Music
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 342
Music
Hi, this is my first thread other than an intro.
I have over 9 months sober after 20 years binge drinking. Gulping the first 2 -3 in social situations, always worried about running out, hiding amounts from friends and family. Used all the excuses. People dont believe I had a problem either which is fine cos I know.
I have worked real hard at the mental, spiritual and physical sides of things and made big changes. As a result, although not a straight line trajectory, things really are on the improve in all areas. I dont drink and dont want to. I understand alot more now and the Ego has been relegated.
I have been to bucks parties, fishing trips, weddings etc... No real probs. I have laughed off the old drinking friends, hell I tell my daughter not to give in to peer pressure. Life is great. Tackling this thing head on and winning big time.
So why the post ?
I was at a concert recently in a work capacity, big bands from back in the day I was a lad. These guys played a couple of old songs that knocked me for six. Not their commercial faves from the radio but the b side tracks that I hadnt heard since I was 18. They called to me of the good times when alcohol was fun, friends and girls I'd forgotten, trips away. Times from way before the blackouts started.
It was like a tsunami hitting my brain and it released feel good chemicals. It is hard to explain. For a couple of minutes I lost rationality then got back on top. Because I havnt been fighting sobriety but embracing and living it, this was a real bolt out of the blue. I had to sit down and remind myself of some stuff. Was certainly a moment of weakness though.
I am glad I was working at the time. I will take it as a timely reminder. Just thought I'd share because I see a lot of posts about triggers....
Without overanalyzing, music has always been a big soundtrack in my life. (My family hate me playing Neil YOUNG, but I tell them Neil speaks to me) I guess some of these songs really spoke to me, in the old language.
Just be aware this thing can sucker punch.
I have over 9 months sober after 20 years binge drinking. Gulping the first 2 -3 in social situations, always worried about running out, hiding amounts from friends and family. Used all the excuses. People dont believe I had a problem either which is fine cos I know.
I have worked real hard at the mental, spiritual and physical sides of things and made big changes. As a result, although not a straight line trajectory, things really are on the improve in all areas. I dont drink and dont want to. I understand alot more now and the Ego has been relegated.
I have been to bucks parties, fishing trips, weddings etc... No real probs. I have laughed off the old drinking friends, hell I tell my daughter not to give in to peer pressure. Life is great. Tackling this thing head on and winning big time.
So why the post ?
I was at a concert recently in a work capacity, big bands from back in the day I was a lad. These guys played a couple of old songs that knocked me for six. Not their commercial faves from the radio but the b side tracks that I hadnt heard since I was 18. They called to me of the good times when alcohol was fun, friends and girls I'd forgotten, trips away. Times from way before the blackouts started.
It was like a tsunami hitting my brain and it released feel good chemicals. It is hard to explain. For a couple of minutes I lost rationality then got back on top. Because I havnt been fighting sobriety but embracing and living it, this was a real bolt out of the blue. I had to sit down and remind myself of some stuff. Was certainly a moment of weakness though.
I am glad I was working at the time. I will take it as a timely reminder. Just thought I'd share because I see a lot of posts about triggers....
Without overanalyzing, music has always been a big soundtrack in my life. (My family hate me playing Neil YOUNG, but I tell them Neil speaks to me) I guess some of these songs really spoke to me, in the old language.
Just be aware this thing can sucker punch.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hi Nigey
all the 80s Aussie stuff I used to listen to - Sunnyboys, Strange Tenants, Riptides - did that to me too the first time sober- but I got through it, and now they don't bother me.
I still remember the good times (and there were good times) but I don't feel the visceral command anymore
glad you got through it too
D
all the 80s Aussie stuff I used to listen to - Sunnyboys, Strange Tenants, Riptides - did that to me too the first time sober- but I got through it, and now they don't bother me.
I still remember the good times (and there were good times) but I don't feel the visceral command anymore
glad you got through it too
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 414
My music tastes are all over the board. From Neil Young (great choice BTW) to Metallica, to Mozart, to Lil' Wayne.
It wasn't until I was in recovery that I realized how using drugs/alcohol is wrapped up in almost all forms of music. Joints being passed at concerts, people coming in falling down drunk, etc. Even at the symphony there's the "intermission" where everyone runs out to down a glass of wine in 15 minutes.
At first I felt a pang of loss that I would not be able to "enjoy" music the way I used to or the way everyone else does. Then I realized how many concerts I barely remember because of how blasted I was.
At least now if I decide to enjoy live music, I will have some real memories of the event.
It wasn't until I was in recovery that I realized how using drugs/alcohol is wrapped up in almost all forms of music. Joints being passed at concerts, people coming in falling down drunk, etc. Even at the symphony there's the "intermission" where everyone runs out to down a glass of wine in 15 minutes.
At first I felt a pang of loss that I would not be able to "enjoy" music the way I used to or the way everyone else does. Then I realized how many concerts I barely remember because of how blasted I was.
At least now if I decide to enjoy live music, I will have some real memories of the event.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,642
Similar thing happened to me my first year after I quit. I was blissfully sober, went to a musical with my daughter, saw everyone head off to the lobby for wine at intermission like I had done in my former life a thousand times....and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I never expected the feelings of loss that strong. "Sucker punch", indeed.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: roller coaster, AL
Posts: 297
The Old Laughing Lady is one of my favorites
I used to have it recorded when he it did it live in his older days ..wish I could find it on you tube..I miss it.
Congrats on your 9 months!!!!!! Keep hangin' in there and enjoy every moment you are given.....
Music doesn't need a drink all it needs is an emotional connection.
I used to have it recorded when he it did it live in his older days ..wish I could find it on you tube..I miss it.
Congrats on your 9 months!!!!!! Keep hangin' in there and enjoy every moment you are given.....
Music doesn't need a drink all it needs is an emotional connection.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Originally Posted by nigey1 
Without overanalyzing, music has always been a big soundtrack in my life. (My family hate me playing Neil YOUNG, but I tell them Neil speaks to me) I guess some of these songs really spoke to me, in the old language.
Just be aware this thing can sucker punch.
Just be aware this thing can sucker punch.
Every moment has a lesson or a blessin! And the lessons turn out to be blessins!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SoCal, California
Posts: 990
Yup - music has always been a soundtrack to my life as well.
Maybe you can think about the folks that MADE the music and how many of them cleaned up. Now they PLAY the music they made while they were high or drunk - and usually play it better than ever.
Eric Clapton for instance. Or how about a sometimes associate of Neil's - David Crosby. Or David Bowie. Or Ringo. Or Pete Townsend.
Something to consider.
Here's some early Neil.
Maybe you can think about the folks that MADE the music and how many of them cleaned up. Now they PLAY the music they made while they were high or drunk - and usually play it better than ever.
Eric Clapton for instance. Or how about a sometimes associate of Neil's - David Crosby. Or David Bowie. Or Ringo. Or Pete Townsend.
Something to consider.
Here's some early Neil.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 342
Yeh thanks guys. All good here.
Charlie NOOGAN you and me both, my musical tastes are extreme to say the least. Good to see so many Neil fans. I was in QLD a few years back for his concert but missed it due to a crook kid. At least I got to see ACDC in 2000 though. Took mum and she says they were as good as when she saw them in 75
Clearlight I like reading/watching bio's on musicians and some of those stories are good ones.
Charlie NOOGAN you and me both, my musical tastes are extreme to say the least. Good to see so many Neil fans. I was in QLD a few years back for his concert but missed it due to a crook kid. At least I got to see ACDC in 2000 though. Took mum and she says they were as good as when she saw them in 75
Clearlight I like reading/watching bio's on musicians and some of those stories are good ones.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Tennessee... The mountainous side.
Posts: 157
I've played music all my life... Blues and jam bands, studio sessions in Nashville, independent releases, songwriting that's been bought up....
It is strange to sit at the piano sober and without a beer on the lid.
I've always equated music with booze or dope. That has been a reeeeeeal struggle. I don't talk about it much because it's one of the biggest and biggest triggers.
Like someone mentioned... I just keep telling myself sO many greats decided to clean up for a reason. And I'm learning... Music is just as rewarding; either listening to or performing... When you aren't loaded. Its all so mind blowing.
It is strange to sit at the piano sober and without a beer on the lid.
I've always equated music with booze or dope. That has been a reeeeeeal struggle. I don't talk about it much because it's one of the biggest and biggest triggers.
Like someone mentioned... I just keep telling myself sO many greats decided to clean up for a reason. And I'm learning... Music is just as rewarding; either listening to or performing... When you aren't loaded. Its all so mind blowing.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Tennessee... The mountainous side.
Posts: 157
... I'll add my very first 3 week attempt at sobriety came crashing to a hault in *******, Va at the Gentlemen of the Road tour (Mumford, etc...). I thought I could stay sober. I lasted 10 minutes. Maybe 15...
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NZ
Posts: 238
I remember going to see U2 a few years back. We were really late getting in and when we finally did the bar was shut !!! Shut , what what what. ???? How could they ruin this concert for me. I totally got in a strop about it and forgot I was there to listen to music. What a doosh.
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