Nonsensical

They asked me not to.

fantail

Since hiring a brain mechanic, I no longer do my own repairs.

Tamerua

I break out in jackassery.

deeker

The springs in my mattress at detox are worn out from my last 5 visits,Would have to sleep on the floor.!! haha

Kinda like my own little bed. And waking up sober.

Huglets

Because wearing underwear is much more enjoyable now that they stay dry.

Pete55

I'm too lazy to drink alcohol

Tamerua

That was Robert Downey Jr. Love him!

I like going to sleep and not passing out, I get more rest that way.

flujays

I'm having a good hair day and I'd like to keep it that way

Benrush

Because hangovers suck. And because feeling clearheaded is awesome.

FreeFall

I don't have to brush sweaters off my teeth in the morning anymore...

I watch the shows I follow only once because I remember what happened the first time around.

My cats' tails are safer now

LDT

Because the alcohol induced rosacea all over my back looks like hell at the beach.

kizzy40

Because I'm 40 now, and alcohol dehydrates your skin....Can't afford the wrinkles dahling.... haha!

deeker

I loved this one! What a great thread! Really enjoyed laughing and I am really laughing!

brigadier

i prefer to keep my bile inside of my body, instead of on the floor of the jail during alcohol poisoning. C:
im trying to get really good at quitting, instead of really good at drinking!

LDT

Because no one in my jail cell was even slighltly amused by the "prison songs" I felt compelled to sing.

DryRoastJim

DOH! I should read my titles, excuses not reasons! Take 2

Judges orders, still not clear on it, something about realtors and rabbits.

My neighbor is really fed up with me parking on her lawn (True story!)

Nattythreads

I've got a yeast infection.

SoberKat9

The beer gut look is so not in right now.

nancylee

Because I have found Me when I stopped drinking!

Grymt

perplexity