Head out of the sand
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Head out of the sand
Hi, Im on day 20, feel good about it, but im apprehensive- ive actually got to start dealing with life now instead of burying my head in the sand by drinking.
I was made redundant last year from a graet job i had for eight years (the site closed, so it was unrelated to my drinking), the plan was to start up my own business in the spring- ive got all the equiptment needed. But ive decided over the last few weeks to get a stable job if possible and do the business as a sideline thus limiting the stress. Ive applied for two promising jobs yesterday so fingers crossed,and seeing my adviser today clear headed and well planned- so far so good, but......
Im petrified of finding out how much my vehicle insurance is going to be, as i lost my licence in 2000 for a year then again in 2005 for three years, i went on a drivers awareness course but am still fearing the worst.
Im also worried about a bank loan ive got around my neck- only had a year left to pay off when i got made redundent, been paying the minimum allowed every month but without going into too much detail its all coming to a head on the 20th of this month.
Also got to sort thing out with my ex over access to my kids, like someone said in my last thread about it i need something set in stone, as it is its her calling the shots and im sick of her moving the goalposts, the kids and me need stability.
So at nearly three weeks sober i feel better and more alert but im also more alert to the stresses of life. In one way or another my alcohol use has caused all these worries, its the drunk me that makes the mess and the sober me that has to clean it up! The crazy part is the stress of all this is making it so hard not to drink and numb it all.
I was made redundant last year from a graet job i had for eight years (the site closed, so it was unrelated to my drinking), the plan was to start up my own business in the spring- ive got all the equiptment needed. But ive decided over the last few weeks to get a stable job if possible and do the business as a sideline thus limiting the stress. Ive applied for two promising jobs yesterday so fingers crossed,and seeing my adviser today clear headed and well planned- so far so good, but......
Im petrified of finding out how much my vehicle insurance is going to be, as i lost my licence in 2000 for a year then again in 2005 for three years, i went on a drivers awareness course but am still fearing the worst.
Im also worried about a bank loan ive got around my neck- only had a year left to pay off when i got made redundent, been paying the minimum allowed every month but without going into too much detail its all coming to a head on the 20th of this month.
Also got to sort thing out with my ex over access to my kids, like someone said in my last thread about it i need something set in stone, as it is its her calling the shots and im sick of her moving the goalposts, the kids and me need stability.
So at nearly three weeks sober i feel better and more alert but im also more alert to the stresses of life. In one way or another my alcohol use has caused all these worries, its the drunk me that makes the mess and the sober me that has to clean it up! The crazy part is the stress of all this is making it so hard not to drink and numb it all.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I found I had very little in the way of experience with stress - I'd drunk it away for years.
I had next to none coping skills - but I learned, and learned pretty quickly too.
part of it was me learning healthier ways to deal with stress - exercise was a real boon for that.
The other part was me learning to let go of things that haven't happened yet.
I learned that once I do everything I can reasonably do about a situation, it's reallyt pointless for me to worry more....I have to let the outcome go.
Is that hard to do? you betcha - but I sleep better at night nowadays.
D
I had next to none coping skills - but I learned, and learned pretty quickly too.
part of it was me learning healthier ways to deal with stress - exercise was a real boon for that.
The other part was me learning to let go of things that haven't happened yet.
I learned that once I do everything I can reasonably do about a situation, it's reallyt pointless for me to worry more....I have to let the outcome go.
Is that hard to do? you betcha - but I sleep better at night nowadays.
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Well done on 20 days 1stepup 
This sounds daft but in a way drinking helped me live in the moment. I had the exact amount of stresses when I was sober as when I was drinking, but when I was drinking I didn't worry about it because it was more important that I got drunk that night. So I'd get drunk and worry about it tomorrow! Maybe finding other distractions would help, make sure you are not constantly worrying about things you can't do anything about in that given moment. And make some allowance for the fact that everything seems so much harder when we stop drinking. I found that things became much easier to handle quite quickly too. I hope you'll find the same x
This sounds daft but in a way drinking helped me live in the moment. I had the exact amount of stresses when I was sober as when I was drinking, but when I was drinking I didn't worry about it because it was more important that I got drunk that night. So I'd get drunk and worry about it tomorrow! Maybe finding other distractions would help, make sure you are not constantly worrying about things you can't do anything about in that given moment. And make some allowance for the fact that everything seems so much harder when we stop drinking. I found that things became much easier to handle quite quickly too. I hope you'll find the same x
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