Icandothis2013

Hi, I have posted a couple of times .. I have reached the point where I can't stand living like this any more. I am normally a happy, jolly person but have become increasingly anxious and depressed (as well as fat!) My 13 year old son said to me about two weeks ago with regard to my drinking ' you will die before your time if you carry on like this ' and that really shook me. I just really want to stop for him (and me) Then I went abroad for my work and drank .. not silly amounts but enough to bring the anxiety on ...Last night, now I am home, I drank two bottles of wine. THis morning I felt so terrible that I had to go back to bed after I had sent my son off to school. I finally got up at 11am. I am a professional person, well respected in my field - if people knew what I was really like in the evenings , they would be horrified. I can understand drinking if one has horrible issues, suffered abuse etc etc but I haven't!! I have (potentially )a wonderful life with a lovely son, good career and enough money... WHAT IS MY PROBLEM THEN ?!!!!

Anyway, I am not going to drink tonight - 7.10pm .. so far so good .. no urges. Let's hope I can keep this up. Really need your support !

Reescup01

Hi I can do this....I have a 12 year old that wishes I would stop drinking. I'm not going to drink tonight. Your story sounds a lot like mine. I guess all we can do is focus on today. Let's not let ourselves down today. We can do this one day at a time. I know it's not easy but we need to free ourselves from this addiction. Our kids need us clean and sober or we will miss out. My daughter asked me why did I throw out the vodka and say I'm not drinking anymore....if your going to go to a bar and drink. That's just dumb mom. I felt so bad!! I wanted to give her a pinky promise that I would stop my drinking but I didn't want to make a promise I don't know that I can keep. But she is all I've been thinking of today. Not to mention my husband that is so mad at me for disappearing for 3 hours.

trachemys

Same as mine: your brain is wired for addiction. One drink will always set off a cascade failure.

Good decision to quit. We're here.

misspond

Hiya, me too, I've decided to quit. My daughter is 9 and my son is 4 and although they don't know why mummy sometimes goes back to bed/shouts/gets anxious I have had enough of being a worse mum than I could be. I too would normally be drinking by now as they're in bed, but tonight I'm not going to. Tomorrow? I'll deal with tomorrow when it comes.... You can do it!

doggonecarl

I'm just speculating, but I am not sure you understand the problem you have with alcohol. You are past the point of just deciding you are going to stop. Because it is a decision your addiction is going to fight every step of the way.

Read your initial post over again. Lots of great advice. To sum it up, you need a recovery plan/program.

Good luck.

soberjim

Icandothis...I use to think the same thing..

I am a professional, nothing tramadic in my youth. What the h**l is wrong with me.

Took me a year of internal struggling - do I have a problem? don't I have a problem.

Your addiction will give you many many reasons to convince you its ok to keep drinking. Simply put, it doesn't want you to stop and it will fight you.

Wake up call from your son.

Like doggonecarl said. Your addiction will fight every step of the way. I'm on day 16. For me, I have finally, finally accepted I have a problem with alcohol. My addiction begs to differ. But I know I HAVE A PROBLEM with alcohol.

1/2 drinks always leads to more.

Keep posting on SR. Read about different programs and put a plan in place.

Don't let your addiction take you down a painful road.. For what it is worth just after 16 days I feel alot better. Physically and about myself. You will too.

PM me if you like.

Jim

Sasha4

I don't think alcohol picks people who have had traumatic pasts, hard lives, harsh conditions.
I'm not sure we get a say in if we are going to be an alcoholic or not.

My dad's dad was a desperate alcoholic.
My dad's childhood was grim.
Surely that should be excuse enough to drink?
He is 76 and I have never, ever seen him drunk once.
He does not drink because he is scared to turn out like his father.

For me, I had to get a few days behind me to build on.
There were plenty of false starts where I would feel so ill in the morning, have strong resolve all day, then in the evening I would justify having one, which then led to a bottle or more.
It was a complete vicious circle for me.

I think the key for me was keeping busy in the evenings when it was my 'dangerous time'.
I have over a year now and my evening routine is very different to what it was.
Before it was drink as much as possible and blackout.

Now I keep busy, I come here, I go to bed early, I read.

Sometimes, in fact most of the time I cannot believe I functioned on that much drink!
I know deep down I probably did not function.
I did not shine at anything.
I had no interest in anything either.
I just went through the motions.

Life was hard because I made it hard through drink. And I drank because life was hard.

I understand the shame, the frustration as to why one night is so hard, the feeling of letting yourself down, letting family down.
It is an awful way to feel.

It takes work to stop drinking at the start.
Sometimes I used to silently scream at the bottles in my fridge or in the supermarket and say 'you will not win, I will not give in'.

All I can offer is try for a couple of days, count your days, be proud of yourself when you don't drink and I believe you will see that alcohol free is the way to be.

My best to you xxxx

veryready

Me too, plus I am an alcoholic.

Your story sounds like mine. I just couldn't justify it anymore. And, my liver doesn't care how much money I make or how many soccer games I go to.

Good luck. Be patient and stick with it. Like Carl said, get a plan. It's worth it.

neferkamichael

Icandothis, I hope it doesn't take you a lifetime like it did me. Yes, you can do it. Rootin for ya.

2granddaughters

I knew I had to do it .... but I couldn't do it until I went to AA.

All the best.

Bob R

Anna

I think it's important to find the reasons why you drink because simply stopping drinking is not going to solve the problem. The alcohol is serving a purpose in your life and your recovery will depend on finding ways to live your life without alcohol. I had no apparent reason to drink either, but I did and it took a lot of soul-searching to be able to recover.