Jeni26

You know it's strange. Friday night is here again. Fridays were oh so difficult in the beginning. I used to think about drinking from the minute I woke up on a Friday. Strong cravings used to wave over me all day at work. I used to post on SR before I went shopping because I just didn't trust myself enough to make it past the alcohol aisle. When I got home I used to get really agitated and angry...why can't I have just 1...why am I an alcoholic...I HATE being made this way....it's not fair!!!! Cue pacing, crying, and generally being a misery to everyone around me.

This weekend H and I are going away for a trip to the coast. We've been planning it for weeks. Long walks along the beach, meals out, sitting in a pub getting warm in front of an open fire. Lovely....

Then before I knew it I started romanticising about having a couple of drinks while we sat there. I mean really???? 9 months sober and that lie is still there?
I had to laugh out loud at myself. I've NEVER had 1or 2 drinks! I mean I always had to get totally wasted.

Then I realised....that anger has gone! I don't feel in the least bit sorry for myself any more! I can actually recognise the lie for what it is.

I'm an alcoholic, and I don't drink. And that's the long and the short of it.

Have a safe sober weekend everyone xxx

Sasha4

Jeni have a wonderful weekend away.
When you think about drinking don't think of being sat in the pub with a glass of wine beside a fire...think of the agony the next morning, the guilt, the hangover.

Get yourself on the beach, have a lovely long walk, then have a hot chocolate or a cuppa with a slice of cake.

Why not find a big stick when you are on the beach, draw a massive love heart in the wet sand and put your special date on it then take a picture.

Its time to start making nice memories
xxxx

LDT

Your weekend sounds perfect, Jeni! My DH and I will be doing something very similar this weekend.

bloss

Thanks for the share Jeni, my thoughts mirror yours

Have a wonderful weekend
Bloss

ReadyAtLast

Have a great weekend Jen. Long walks, cake and coffee in front of a roaring fire sound wonderful

neferkamichael

Jeni, FANTASTIC thread.

HitRockBottom70

9 long months and we are seeing and feeling a huge difference. I was thinking the anger would never go away too, but it did. Thanks for sharing.
Have a beautiful weekend on the beach Jeni

instant

Have a good weekend Jenni

owls4eva

Just the post I needed to read tonight thanks xx

Spinach

Jen , someone on another thread talked about skulling a glass of wine and it brought a memory so strong back that I sat down worried it might force a slip or shatter my illusion or delusion of peace , then I got it I didn't need to worry as I could see where it would end.
I laughed out loud and felt even better.
Good luck and have an amazing time.
Love John.

Tammy47

Thanks for sharing Jeni. In these early days (2 wks) I am battling mostly every Friday too. Your story gives me hope. Please know as you go off on your weekend, your post has helped me not weaken today (Friday).

Hevyn

Good job, Jeni! That's just how it was for me, too. I was so resentful and sorry for myself in the beginning. Somewhere along the line it all settled down & has nearly stopped all together. Something that once ruled my life has faded away - amazing.

Happy for you - have a wonderful time - congrats on 9 months.