ReadyAtLast

I'm hoping for some advice please. I'm coming up for 3 months sober next week and feel physically better and have less/no anxiety compared to what I've always had. I'm not having cravings anymore and don't want a drink. The problem is I feel really low, lacking in enthusiasm, morose, unhappy and just plain miserable. I don't want to feel like this-I want to be happy. I've been reading about positive thinking, changing mindsets etc which really helped a few weeks ago but now I just seem in a rut. I could just sit on the sofa all day and do nothing. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to discuss how I feel. I don't know what else he will suggest other than anti -depressants though. I was reluctant to take them but if they help then I will gladly take them. I have a couple of questions-for those long term sober, did you feel like this at this stage and if so,did it pass after 3 months? also,did anyone get to say 3 months or so and then get anti-ds and feel much much better for taking them. Thank you

sugarbear1

Are you using a method of recovery?

Each of these has it's own website. I work the 12 steps of AA and it works for me.

Rational Recovery
SMART
AVRT
Life Ring Power to Quit
Women for Sobriety
AA (the 12 steps keep me happy)

Whatever you do, do it well!

In terms of recovering, well, 3 months is awesome, but in my opinion, what goes up must come down, then before it all evens out, it gets real flat, as you are feeling, then things and life happen and we make things happen and we get a really nice well-rounded life, if we do the action!

I wish you happier days in sobriety!

YouRmySunshine

Im not there yet, but am in treatment with people that have gotten past that point & have emulated some of the same things you are saying. They say this is normal, Hopefully you can get some good advise/responses for those that have been through this.
But Happy Almost 3 month Sober date!

ReadyAtLast

Thanks Sugarbear.I've been using AVRT. Love the RR book but it's very -stop drinking and that's it. It assumes everything else gets better when you stop drinking.I thought it would -of course there are bad and good days,life is life but I didn't expect to feel this low all the time and often for no reason really.

ReadyAtLast

Thanks Yourmysunshine, I recall reading on SR about people saying they felt better at 3 months. I suppose I thought I'd just feel better by now,better than I am feeling at least

Dee74

I know a lot of people seem to feel that way at 3 months RAL, so you're in good company

does this link ring any bells?

PAWS | Digital Dharma

D

ReadyAtLast

Thanks Dee.Yes,I've seen it before but I'm going to go and read it properly now

Redviper

Avoid using anti depressants. I'm just getting off them after ten years and the withdrawal from them is worse than alcohol at times. It's the alcohol that made me anxious which made me take medicine. I'm about four months sober and feel the same way. Everyone says it's just part of the healing process. Being lethargic is better than being drunk right now. Hang in there.

MyTimeNow

Hey RAL

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low.

RR is good but it doesn't assume everything gets better once you stop drinking, in fact it stresses the opposite (to me anyway) life will not suddenly get better once you have stopped drinking, in fact life may not change at all. You still have the same life, only without drink. THEN you can begin to live your life/examine issues/address whatever needs doing.

You know me, I'm the most useless procrastinator about. Today I was thinking of going back on anti-depressants (been on and off 4 varieties for nearly 20 years) I don't think I want that route though.

Sorry if I've spoken out of turn, you are way past me in sobriety, only you know how you feel. I personally just could not recommend somebody going on anti-depressants for the first time without trying every other alternative first. I'd resigned myself to them for a lifetime and they have been one of the worst and best things to happen to me (mainly worst)

It's very difficult to find the natural highs when you are so low. Walks? Park with lo? Exercise? I've been laughing so much today setting up DD on the Wii Fit and jogging and hula-hooping together.

I've run out of advice other than maybe try and force your way out of the 'zone' you know? When a walk seems like no fun. The park is hard work. When everything has a negative spin - I know it It's all just tiring and hard work but it can sometimes be fun

All the best xx

ReadyAtLast

Thanks RV and MTN

MTN you've not spoken out of turn at all I really appreciate people's insights and experiences. Thanks for taking the time to respond. I do need to get out of the zone and my head and maybe do something different.

I'm surprised about the anti ds-I thought many people would support them. I'll see what the doc says.Going to try and sleep now,thanks everyone xx

Anna

I'm sorry to hear that you're low and I hope your dr can give you some advice.

My depression was from my teen years on, so I needed antidepressants before I was able to get myself together and get sober. With the depression, I didn't have the motivation to make recovery work. If your depression is a result of your drinking, then it should start to lift.

Also, I wonder if you've made other changes in your life since stopping drinking. I was in a rut too, but tried to get back doing things I used to love.

mecanix

I think i had mild depression whilst drinking and it also overlapped into my non drinking life , after 6 months it lifted .
I find using mindfullness to live in the moment useful .

Bestwishes, M

MyTimeNow

Definitely. Try that first - it is so easy to sit, sit sit... Remember my thread? Staring at the walls? I need to get myself out of the 'zone' too. Hope you sleep well RAL xx

crackerboy

Avoiding antidepressants is like avoiding penicillin. It might not hurt, but the symptoms you're treating are there for a reason.

Depression can be fatal. The great majority of suicides are due to depression, and it is responsible for a lot of relapses when miserable people think, "Hell, I might as well be using."

I would be extremely careful about advising someone to stay off them based on my own experience. One person's experience is just that, and has nothing to do with someone else's brain chemistry.

Applecrumble

Hi RAL,

Yes, I went through something similar. And I went through it stubbornly refusing to see a doctor for personal reasons but I'm really glad though that you are seeing someone because my way was not advisable and I took some risks - there's no need to mess around with mood problems. It can also be a big risk to sobriety of course.

Even if its just a case of someone knowing what you're going through and keeping an eye on you, it's a positive step. Whatever you need to do, do it

Good luck tomorrow anyway and stick at it!

soberclover

Hi Ready; I can relate to the blah feeling. I've also reached my 3 months and can't quite get myself going. As I have a history of depression but reduced my antidepressant dosage when I was hospitalized during my last drinking binge, I'm not key on increasing the amount. I think it takes a long time for the body to adjust to all of the poison I put in to my body during the past 8 years. I'm in therapy now and trying to get real about learning how to feel and take care of myself as well as coming to grips with how I grew up. I've been reading a TON of books on recovery. 12 Smart Things to Do When the Booze and Drugs are Gone, Perfect Daughters, The Law of Sobriety, and Minding the Body-Mending the Mind are four books that are next to me on the couch now! There is a lot to this sobriety stuff rather then just not drinking. It's about living a right life. I need to learn how to do that and it is really exhausting and draining. I think that is why I feel the way I do at 3 months. Life doesn't just get peachy all of a sudden and I'm okay with that now that I realize it. Thanks for your post!

Dee74

Remember our medical advice folks - sharing experience is good but advising people to stay off meds goes beyond that.

RAL if you think you might be depressed, please do see your Dr.

Everyones different but I doubt I'd be here without antidepressants.

D

Applecrumble

Yes, soberclover, I've had to learn sooo much about myself to do this too!

MyTimeNow

I would never advise on RAL's brain chemistry - she knows that. I've 'needed' anti depressants all my adult life - or have I? I've been on prozac, cipramil, venlafaxine, seroxat... What a bloody mess my mind was from the age of 18 upwards with the side effects/coming on off. I'm happy I have been off for a couple of years to make a reasoned decision if I want to.

I'd be extremely careful about somebody advising somebody to go on them based on my own experience. One person's choice is just that and has nothing to do with yours or mine brain chemistry.

I'm not arguing one way or the other. RAL will do what is right for her. I'm just suggesting possible alternatives beforehand.

hypochondriac

I definitely felt like this. If I had my time over I would have avoided sugar and done some exercise. I am only now starting to do that and I swear that has really contributed to me feeling so lethargic. All those sugar crashes. Counselling has been helping me identify some area's where my thinking patterns are still really negative too. Again I hung around to do that and wish I had done it sooner. If you feel able just keep trying things to see if they make you feel better. But don't worry about it, it seems to be a common thing for most of us x