Man in the bubble
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Man in the bubble
Anyone else finding that in early sobriety (im on day 4) they're living in a stress free bubble, desperately avoiding anything that might cause them to relapse?
Im wondering how long you should leave things that could harm your sobriety until you bite the bullet and face them? Theyre only trivial things im talking about really- unopened letters that could be bills etc. I know I cant live in a bubble forever but I just dont want anything to wreck this, but have found 'suprises' to be triggers in the past.
Im wondering how long you should leave things that could harm your sobriety until you bite the bullet and face them? Theyre only trivial things im talking about really- unopened letters that could be bills etc. I know I cant live in a bubble forever but I just dont want anything to wreck this, but have found 'suprises' to be triggers in the past.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Life is full of surprises, no matter how hard you try to avoid them. Only you can decide what you want to take on, but obviously going to a bar or a party would probably not be of much value on day 4.
Rather than expecting/fearing a trigger and relapse maybe try remembering that you are functioning just fine now without drinking. Every little step gets a tiny bit easier. Or try posting here if you feel a trigger coming in - we'll be here!
Rather than expecting/fearing a trigger and relapse maybe try remembering that you are functioning just fine now without drinking. Every little step gets a tiny bit easier. Or try posting here if you feel a trigger coming in - we'll be here!
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
The pace and rhythm of learning to live sober is a huge variable. I have seem those here that say no more and it's done. Others venture out and show back up remorseful. I personally tried hard to do all that I did before except go to bars. I lost those bar friends. I felt bored and left out. But I soon started to find other options.
Facing my shame? I was going to get lunch even today and a memory made me feel horrible. Is that a trigger? It could be if I allow it. But I let it wash over me as best I can and relate to myself that that's not me any more.
I hope you find a pace that works for you. As you do there is no shame in trying and failing as long as you try again.
K
Facing my shame? I was going to get lunch even today and a memory made me feel horrible. Is that a trigger? It could be if I allow it. But I let it wash over me as best I can and relate to myself that that's not me any more.
I hope you find a pace that works for you. As you do there is no shame in trying and failing as long as you try again.
K
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
So, glad to see this post today. I have been living in fear of stress for weeks now thinking I would relapse. Yesterday at 36 I decided to get braces and all I could think was "well its the first thirty days I am setting myself up for a relapse".. I am doing RR so its a little different about relapses but, to the point, after I got through it all sober I just felt stronger and more confident than ever in myself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: MPLS, MN
Posts: 164
I would definitely open those letters, heck one could be from Ed McMahon! CHING CHING! Though that might not be the greatest thing to a recently recovering alcoholic.
However I would just stay clear of stressful situations and after you notch some more days on your belt and the booze works it's way out of your body and mind you'll feel much more confident in facing stress. Don't hide out too much but take your time and heal.
However I would just stay clear of stressful situations and after you notch some more days on your belt and the booze works it's way out of your body and mind you'll feel much more confident in facing stress. Don't hide out too much but take your time and heal.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
There are things that hurt my sobriety, things that help my sobriety, and life. Figuring out the differences is more than just a variable in my recovery--it is the key.
Things that hurt my sobriety are having booze in the house or going out and getting some.
Things that help my sobriety are SR, my program, and my sponsor.
Life has to be lived. Worrying about what's in an envelope is much harder than opening the envelope.
I don't believe in triggers--only bullets. Nothing can "make" me drink except picking it up and swallowing.
Things that hurt my sobriety are having booze in the house or going out and getting some.
Things that help my sobriety are SR, my program, and my sponsor.
Life has to be lived. Worrying about what's in an envelope is much harder than opening the envelope.
I don't believe in triggers--only bullets. Nothing can "make" me drink except picking it up and swallowing.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
Originally Posted by Coldfusion 
There are things that hurt my sobriety, things that help my sobriety, and life. Figuring out the differences is more than just a variable in my recovery--it is the key.
Things that hurt my sobriety are having booze in the house or going out and getting some.
Things that help my sobriety are SR, my program, and my sponsor.
Life has to be lived. Worrying about what's in an envelope is much harder than opening the envelope.
I don't believe in triggers--only bullets. Nothing can "make" me drink except picking it up and swallowing.
Things that hurt my sobriety are having booze in the house or going out and getting some.
Things that help my sobriety are SR, my program, and my sponsor.
Life has to be lived. Worrying about what's in an envelope is much harder than opening the envelope.
I don't believe in triggers--only bullets. Nothing can "make" me drink except picking it up and swallowing.
So very true....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: jersey
Posts: 69
Everything was a trigger for me while I was drinking. Happy = drink. Sad = drink. Stressed = drink. Going out? Drink! Staying home? Drink more!
Very early on, I came to the conclusion that dealing with life is unavoidable. You don't have to live in a bubble if you don't want to, you just need to find a new way of experiencing it. Go for a walk, take up knitting, hand scrub your floors. Whatever. You can do it, you really can.
Very early on, I came to the conclusion that dealing with life is unavoidable. You don't have to live in a bubble if you don't want to, you just need to find a new way of experiencing it. Go for a walk, take up knitting, hand scrub your floors. Whatever. You can do it, you really can.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hey 1stepup ,
It might be worth working on a stratergy to cope with things . maybe worth opening and sorting the letters , chucking the rubbish away and then prioritze and work through one or two each day .
Living in denial dosn't work.. things only get worse if you ignore letters and bills . Break things down into managable chunks and try and do something every day . Remember the CAB can help with financial councelling, debt negotiations , benifits and working out a budget although they tend to be quite buisy .
Where i live i tend to use a key electricty meter, gas card it's more expencive but it makes budgeting easier .
Bestwishes, M
It might be worth working on a stratergy to cope with things . maybe worth opening and sorting the letters , chucking the rubbish away and then prioritze and work through one or two each day .
Living in denial dosn't work.. things only get worse if you ignore letters and bills . Break things down into managable chunks and try and do something every day . Remember the CAB can help with financial councelling, debt negotiations , benifits and working out a budget although they tend to be quite buisy .
Where i live i tend to use a key electricty meter, gas card it's more expencive but it makes budgeting easier .
Bestwishes, M
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
I found that planning small daily activities helped. I bought a wall calendar, hung it on a very prominent place in my kitchen, and told myself I would fill it out each day with the things I did. It started small, I wrote "went to coffee shop, grocery store" or whatever. Day by day, I continued to fill that calendar and at the end of the month most days were full.
Sometime during that month I started noticing that dealing with "triggers" didn't bother me as much. Going to the grocery store and accidentally walking down the liquor aisle didn't freak me out and create negative thoughts anymore. Walking past my neighborhood pub wasn't a worry for me either. Once you start to get your feet under you and feel better about yourself, you'll WANT to open those letters and take care of it.
Bottom line is that it's about sobriety. If you take your time with sobriety and focus on healing yourself, you won't be afraid to face those little challenges and triggers any longer.
Sometime during that month I started noticing that dealing with "triggers" didn't bother me as much. Going to the grocery store and accidentally walking down the liquor aisle didn't freak me out and create negative thoughts anymore. Walking past my neighborhood pub wasn't a worry for me either. Once you start to get your feet under you and feel better about yourself, you'll WANT to open those letters and take care of it.
Bottom line is that it's about sobriety. If you take your time with sobriety and focus on healing yourself, you won't be afraid to face those little challenges and triggers any longer.
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