"One of those who were born that way"
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Italy
Posts: 26
"One of those who were born that way"
Hi, so I am a 30 yr. old alcoholic that has tried everything and is a chronic relapser. The thing is, I stayed sober long enough this last time to know that it does get better. 8 months. AA doesn't work for me because I guess I am one of those "unfortunate people who were born that way". Anyway this forum has been awesome for me. This last relapse left me pretty sad and scared. Also, I am a Christian believer. I have great church friends, but I am the only one with these issues and it is near impossible to open up or relate to any of them. Right now my heart is being restored but my physical addiction is still up and running. It's crazy, because sometimes when I feel my best I want to celebrate with a drink and then I am deceived and do it! It never ends well. 
Ashley
Ashley
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Welcome Ashley!
There are quite a few of us for whom AA doesn't work so well. Whether or not you let AA define why it won't work for you is up to you, of course, but you might want to check out the secular recovery section. Lot's of good information on methods that have been working for people who didn't succeed with AA.
Originally Posted by AshleyNickel 
AA doesn't work for me because I guess I am one of those "unfortunate people who were born that way".
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome Ashley
whether you use AA or not, I'd hate to see anyone think they were born this way - I think it'd be easy to resign yourself to drinking thinking that way.
I didn't go to AA but I stopped drinking - I made the changes I needed to make and I found the support I needed to have
Recovery is possible
D
whether you use AA or not, I'd hate to see anyone think they were born this way - I think it'd be easy to resign yourself to drinking thinking that way.
I didn't go to AA but I stopped drinking - I made the changes I needed to make and I found the support I needed to have
Recovery is possible
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Ashley, I think your AA problem is that you haven't committed to it, you were just "involved".
Committed to AA is like a bacon & egg breakfast. The chicken is involved and the pig is committed.
All the best.
Bob R
Committed to AA is like a bacon & egg breakfast. The chicken is involved and the pig is committed.
All the best.
Bob R
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by 2granddaughters
Ashley, I think your AA problem is that you haven't committed to it, you were just "involved".
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Hi Ashley
My interpretation of the " "unfortunate people who were born that way" is :pathological liars and sociopaths. You were able to stay sober for 8 months so obviously you are neither which is good otherwise all of us who have relapsed at one point or another would be too and the world would be in deeper trouble than it is right now LOL
You might want to look at what went wrong and what led to you drinking then make a plan so it will not happen again.
I am a big fan of AA for myself
I know that for me it works if I work it. Whether you decide to go back to AA (i'd say give it another try) or try some other method or even a combination (I combine AA,SR and AVRT) the thing is that you have to commit yourself to your recovery and give it 100 percent.
You can do it !
Ps: edited to add, join the February class if you have not done so yet. I am in the Jan class and the support I get from my peers on SR is priceless
My interpretation of the " "unfortunate people who were born that way" is :pathological liars and sociopaths. You were able to stay sober for 8 months so obviously you are neither which is good otherwise all of us who have relapsed at one point or another would be too and the world would be in deeper trouble than it is right now LOL
You might want to look at what went wrong and what led to you drinking then make a plan so it will not happen again.
I am a big fan of AA for myself
I know that for me it works if I work it. Whether you decide to go back to AA (i'd say give it another try) or try some other method or even a combination (I combine AA,SR and AVRT) the thing is that you have to commit yourself to your recovery and give it 100 percent.
You can do it !
Ps: edited to add, join the February class if you have not done so yet. I am in the Jan class and the support I get from my peers on SR is priceless
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Ashley:
As others have said, each person has their own opinions on recovery methods and the purpose of the newcomers forum is not to argue over which one is better - because only you can decide what works.
Everyone is born a certain way, but that doesn't mean you cannot change. People do it every day in all walks of life - they change their religions, jobs, etc. Quitting drinking is a decision - nothing more, nothing less. Anyone can quit - but how you stay quit is up to you. Have you tried other recovery methods like SMART or RR? There is plenty of info on many of them here.
My personal method is SR - this place is great. I welcome you and hope SR can be part of your recovery - keep posting and reading!
As others have said, each person has their own opinions on recovery methods and the purpose of the newcomers forum is not to argue over which one is better - because only you can decide what works.
Everyone is born a certain way, but that doesn't mean you cannot change. People do it every day in all walks of life - they change their religions, jobs, etc. Quitting drinking is a decision - nothing more, nothing less. Anyone can quit - but how you stay quit is up to you. Have you tried other recovery methods like SMART or RR? There is plenty of info on many of them here.
My personal method is SR - this place is great. I welcome you and hope SR can be part of your recovery - keep posting and reading!
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Born That Way
First, please do look at Addictive Voice Recognition Therapy--it works for those who don't like AA. The free "28 Flash Cards" is really all you need for the program--it is a one-time thing, unlike AA which is on-going.
Second, the title of the thread, in my interpretation, refers to those who are not willing to undergo the moral cleansing of the AA program. By going to church, you have shown you are open to God.
So just keep working on your addiction here at SR!
Second, the title of the thread, in my interpretation, refers to those who are not willing to undergo the moral cleansing of the AA program. By going to church, you have shown you are open to God.
So just keep working on your addiction here at SR!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
I am christian and I practice RR. AA was not something that worked for me either. I was a chronic relapser and now I am not. Check out secular recovery... just because you practice RR doesn't make you an athiest. Good luck and I hope you come back soon... Jess
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