in pain
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 70
in pain
Holy crap I am in pain. Scared, depressed, damn near suicidal. And its unfortunately a feeling I am way too familiar with. I really need to find a way to stop this sick cycle. Gotta stop the drinking. Here I go again. Day 1. God help me.
Hi scary stuff, know the feeling well, im suffering today, know that i need to stop but still afraid of life without that crutch. I wish so much to change but finding it hard to deal with regrets and mistakes ive incurred when drunk or blacked out. We're all in the same boat, i wish you all the best.
Hi scary stuff
try and not think too far ahead - all you have to do today s stay sober - you'll find a lot of support and ideas here, and things will get better.
if you keep feeling low I recommend reading through this link and maybe calling some of the numbers:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
todays a new day - you can do this
D
try and not think too far ahead - all you have to do today s stay sober - you'll find a lot of support and ideas here, and things will get better.
if you keep feeling low I recommend reading through this link and maybe calling some of the numbers:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
todays a new day - you can do this
D
Scary stuff.... I have been at that point you describe. It's not easy but it is tolerable.
It is a sick cycle. But make no decisions today other than one not to drink.
Reach out to someone local if you can. Friend... AA... Hospital.
Post here what's going on. A lot of very good ears that know what you are going through because we have also.
Ken
It is a sick cycle. But make no decisions today other than one not to drink.
Reach out to someone local if you can. Friend... AA... Hospital.
Post here what's going on. A lot of very good ears that know what you are going through because we have also.
Ken
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
At the risk of being offensive, I will tell you what helped me. I got to the end of my rope with drinking and asked Jesus how to quit. He pointed me to a Bible verse that I'd never seen before (I'd seen all the anti-drunkenness ones--none of them had ever fazed me). The particular verse is not important--it will probably be different for you. But even though God had been dead to me for so long, he answered me. At the Setting Captives Free website, I saw the reason why he answered me this time instead of all of the other times I had asked him for help.
Hebrews 11:6--"...anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him". Before this I was cynical--I "knew" he wouldn't bother to do anything about it. This time, though, I knew I was too out of it to make excuses for myself or be cynical. I just asked him to please show me how to quit, and he did.
I am sorry if I crossed a barrier in telling you that. I won't say any more about God unless you ask.
Hebrews 11:6--"...anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him". Before this I was cynical--I "knew" he wouldn't bother to do anything about it. This time, though, I knew I was too out of it to make excuses for myself or be cynical. I just asked him to please show me how to quit, and he did.
I am sorry if I crossed a barrier in telling you that. I won't say any more about God unless you ask.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 70
thank you Gilmer. I'm not at all offended by talk about God. I'm not particularly religious, but I'm not exactly an atheist either. thank you for your post. I honestly don't know what its going to take to beat this problem. For now I guess I just have to get through the day. I'll distract myself with work and try not to wind up in tears at my desk. The first few days are always the worst.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 24
Feelings like depression and anxiety are a result of our focus, our posture, and our breathing. Taking notice to these can improve your mood for now, feeling bad will do nothing for you. Take charge, get fed up and discusted, and put your focus on what you can be grateful for because sometimes thats all we have.
It really isnt until we are near death that we truely start to live.
It really isnt until we are near death that we truely start to live.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 70
My nerves are just off the charts right now. I'm a mess. I need to find a way to calm down and be positive. But I feel like I just want to crawl under a rock and hide from life. I absolutely HATE my life right now.
The only way I was able to get out of all the fears, shame, guilt, self loathing, depression and obsessive thinking you seem to be going through, is to put down the alcohol, period.
Drinking alcohol to keep me from worrying about my drinking problem and what it was doing to my life and those in it was insanity for me. I wallowed in my own world of self-pity, why me, poor me, look what I've done all why knocking back another beer.
Anxiety, raw fear and depression was only briefly quieted by alcohol (maybe the first couple of drinks) and then the alcohol magnified it x's 1000. As it was, for me, things were pretty damn bad already.
Until I put down alcohol the only bet I was sure to win was things would get worse, much, much worse. It was only a matter of time and even time was not on my side.
Drinking alcohol to keep me from worrying about my drinking problem and what it was doing to my life and those in it was insanity for me. I wallowed in my own world of self-pity, why me, poor me, look what I've done all why knocking back another beer.
Anxiety, raw fear and depression was only briefly quieted by alcohol (maybe the first couple of drinks) and then the alcohol magnified it x's 1000. As it was, for me, things were pretty damn bad already.
Until I put down alcohol the only bet I was sure to win was things would get worse, much, much worse. It was only a matter of time and even time was not on my side.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
I began walking away from He!! when I committed to AA. I had nothing to lose.
That was in 1989. It's worked for me since then. God did help me when I showed up and surrendered.
All the best.
Bob R
I still wake up in the morning grateful that I don't have to feel that way anymore. It WILL get better. Every day that you don't drink or use a drug you will get stronger emotionally as well as physically. The first few days/week sucks but it is possible to get through this. You can ask any of us! Don't hesitate to contact your doctor should you need to!
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 7
Hi Scarystuff - I am feeling the same way. I am thinking of you today and wishing you healing thoughts and strength. Let's both try to hang in there!
W.
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