endlesspatience

So, I went back to my addiction counsellor tonight. I hadn't seen him for two weeks because basically I'd been on a bender and hadn't showed up. Of course he charged me for the sessions I missed and I don't blame him for that. The session was relatively short. Basically he said you need to go to AA every day, embrace the programme, follow the steps and get a sponsor if you want to stay sober. Simple as that. So I ended up handing over a whole of money to hear something that I could have heard for free at any AA meeting. Indeed, I've heard it many times. I was at an AA meeting last night, in fact. Still, the best I can do now is to follow his advice and get myself to a meeting every day for the forseeable future. The idea does not exactly warm my heart at the moment but if the alternative is another horrible binge during which I put everything at risk, I better man up and make my decision.

Coldfusion

I agree with your therapist.. Have you tried to find a sponsor?

healin

Have you considered other recovery options?

endlesspatience

I'm not against AA. It's been helpful. I had two different sponsors before but they both let me go when I couldn't stop relapsing. It's become a vicious circle. I don't feel I dare get another sponsor because I fear I am going to relapse again. But without the guidance and support of a sponsor, my chances of sustained recovery are reduced. It's been a week since my last drink and I have been to one meeting and to the counselling session tonight. Both helped. But I agree, it's not the same as having a real sponsor who I can trust.

MIRecovery

Our best thinking got us to where we are so it may be advisable to listen someone else. The mind that caused the problem is unlikely to be the mind that fixes the problem.

When I started listening and doing what my addiction counselor and the old timers at AA suggested things started to get better. Although I have not talked to my addiction counselor in years I still do what the old timers suggest.

They have been sober a long time so they obviously know more than I do.

hypochondriac

I've had various different help from counsellors etc... none of which I paid for (lots of free stuff in the UK ) but really none of it could really do much without my conviction not to drink. My sis had a go at me though when I was complaining that they didn't seem to be helping. She said that lots of people get frustrated that counsellors don't immediately fix things because they don't realise that they have to do the actual work. I bet your addiction counsellor and a sponsor will both be really useful to you but ultimately the ball's in your court x

healin

How about you let all the recovered/recovering people here be your 'pretend sponsor'? We will always be here to guide you no matter what happens. I do not want to tell you which recovery option would be best for you as thats for you to decide but there lots of them available. For me group meetings and 12 step programmes were not what I wanted to do and they never worked for me but I found that recovering alone with minimal outside help worked perfectly. Being here on SR most of the day and keeping myself mentally busy helps a great deal too. Can I give you one piece of advice?

Anna

I think it's all about motivation.

Whether it's a counsellor or AA or something else, if you find the motivation you need to stay sober and recover, you'll be fine.

endlesspatience

Thanks, guys. Go ahead, Healin'. Let's hear your advice.

instant

If you are able to follow that advice and embrace sobriety unconditionally it will be money well spent.

How much have you spent on booze over the years?

endlesspatience

Good point, instant. It may have been a pricey counselling session but compared to the amount I waste on getting wasted, it's nothing!

paul99

Your previous sponsors might have seen something that precipitated them to bow out, who knows, so no need to revisit that. Having said that, getting a sponsor is vital in AA for recovery. Don't be put off by your last two experiences. Getting a sponsor doesn't mean relapse of course - you might find someone who truly has what you want, and you are willing, honest and open-minded. Regardless of your path, relapse doesn't need to be a part of it anymore.

Fallow

You said it. Until you make a decision AA or any other method wont work.

Nonsensical

Sometimes 'expert' advice is helpful, even if it's the same advice you can get for free. My wife consistently asks me what I think (finance, furniture, parenting, etc.), and then goes and pays an 'expert' who typically tells her the same thing I told her. Then she comes back and says, "why did I pay for an expert?"

It gives her a level of confidence, that's all.

Bigndfan175

I once did 70 meetings in 90 days and you know what its not a cure all. It helped but when I wanted to drink I drank.

for me its the meetings plus the 12 step work plus regular meetings/calls with my sponsor plus a study group plus calling and texting guys in my home group plus daily meditation and prayer plus not picking up the first drink.

Staying sober is a lot of work and worth it!

Natom

I agree with ^^^^. You can sit in as many meetings as you like. You won't change unless you start working the whole programme.

Natom

endlesspatience

Thanks for this guys. I feel like I should send you all a pile of money for your counselling but you did it for free for a complete stranger! Thanks!

ABIDEBYLAW

Sounds like an attorney... looking for money. Do it yourself and save the cash.

penny74

l have never met a counceler who told me somerthing l didn't know.

vegibean

endless, on top of what everyone else said, you know it starts with you. Also, I want to add, you know the great thing about us being us is that we have choices everyday. We can choose to drink or to not. I think even changing, and/or making plans to do things differently may help too. Doing the same thing everyday is a pattern, "change a thought, move a muscle."

Good luck!!