ArcticSA

So after one failed attempt at getting sober back in November(I actually convinced myself I didn't have a problem because I was able to quit for a week,ugh.) I have hit my rock bottom and I am trying again.
A couple nights I came on here drunk and posted that I'd puked up blood and was freaking. All night I was sick and panicking. I should've gone to the hospital but guess what? I was too wasted to drive, my husband was passed out drunk, and I had 3 young kids sleeping. A LOVELY situation right? Not.
I woke my husband at 6:30 that morning and poured out my heart and concerns and told him what happened last night should not have happened and will never happen again.
Im seeing a regular doctor tomorrow at 3pm and I really dont know if thats the right step to take first, but I dont care, it's a step. He can check out the blood-puke thing(which Im pretty sure is from an irritated esophagus) and then talk to me about possible medications and withdrawal symptoms and then refer me to local AA meetings, which I plan on attending as often as possible.
This is the farthest I've ever taken this, because this is the most serious Ive taken it. I feel....resolved. Not to say Im not worried, because I am. Ive had several cravings today, and the funny thing is I used a labor coping technique I'd learned for contractions when I was pregnant. "Ok. It's coming, it's getting really strong, it's going to peak, and then it is slowly going to go away, you can do this, it's like a wave." A really uncomfortable,crappy,intense,wave, but a wave nonetheless.
I can't even imagine how hard it's going to get when almost every facet of my life has come to involve alcohol. I mean everything. Well almost everything, church was alcohol free. That's about it. Otherwise life has been a hangover, or waiting to drink again. So yeah, this should be interesting. It seems like there will be an awful lot of empty hours spent thinking about how much fun it would be(I know, not really) to catch a buzz. Anyway Im rambling, and I am looking to be kept accountable.
So can someone let me know what group to join if I feel the need to make random updates on my progress??
Thanks!!

Dee74

Hi ArcticSA
glad you're feeling better

you're very welcome to keep this thread going...or you can join the Class of January thread for more support as well


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-pt-4-a-8.html

D

renaldo

I hear you sister every step of the way. Your story is my story. Pissing blood. Been there, done that. I've had a good experience with LifeRing. You can find meetings in your area at lifering.org. They don't have as many meetings as AA, but it's a nice alternative.

As one alkie speaking to the next, don't beat up on yourself too much. You can't change the past.

Actually, people are forgiving, and as Dee here has said, once you get your act together, people don't even remember the drunk you. I've got a neighbor who was an alkie and meth freak. But I never remember him that way. Hope springs eternal.

Lillylh28

That's my story also. My husband and i are alcoholics with two small children. Last week was a bad week and we have resolved that was enough. The end of drinking. Nothing fun about it for us anymore and the possible consequences are too large. I have convinced myself that I probably have health problems from it and that scares me. Today is day 4 and more than cravings im having major anxiety about what it will mean if we can't stop. Sounds like you have a good plan set up for sucess. I wish you the best. Here's to a life free from alcohol!

artsoul

Welcome Lilly and congrats on day 4! (Feel free to start a new thread if you want and introduce yourself).

Artic, I'm so glad things are better than they were a couple nights ago. I'm glad you're seeing your doctor. It takes a lot of courage for us to do that, but it's the best thing we can do. What's amazing is how the body can repair itself when we're not pouring poison into it.....

I had a lot of cravings too at first. The mental part doesn't go away once we stop drinking, but each day we stay sober we get a little stronger and each craving we get through builds up our sobriety muscles. It won't always be this hard - promise! Hang in there - better days are ahead!:ghug3

Hevyn

Arctic - Let us know how it goes at the doctor. I'm so glad you're back to try again. We know you can do it this time, and have a new and better life.

Lilly - I'm glad you came to the conclusion that it's no longer fun, just misery. We're so glad to have you with us. You found a great place for support and hope.