Very Early Recovery (day 2) and Reaching Out
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 11
Very Early Recovery (day 2) and Reaching Out
I didn't turn to drugs or alcohol until I was the age of 24 after deciding to take my own path away from what was expected of me. I had dealt my entire life with anxiety, self consciousness. In early adulthood this turned to confusion and several major depressive episodes when the typical things that people were doing as adults to become productive members of society weren't fixing my psychological woes. My self discovery phase was liberating but quickly became intertwined with substance abuse. I come to this board now after 3 and a half years of a pure roller coaster ride where my sanity has been tested too many times and my will to remain sober continually got side tracked.
I am a day into sobriety having relapsed after a month of abstinence. My pride is broken, I am guilt-ridden and ashamed, and although the anxieties that are spiking in this very early stage are stirred by physiological as much as psychological effects, I'm letting myself face them with renewed clarity instead of thinking of the easiest option to simply escape it. My dabbling in substance has over the last several years morphed into full blown alcoholism. Legal issues, leaving school, losing job, this has all happened. Despite that, I am resolved to remain humble and know that things can/could be worse and that I need to reach out as many ways as possible to overcome this problem once and for all.
Complete and utter arrogance, selfishness, and self righteous attitudes towards the world have maintained years of lies and delusion that my situation was somehow different. "I'm more depressed, the world is too off kilter for me to exist in as a sober man." This and many other phrases trying to convince myself I was special have continually raced through my mind to justify what was purely the selfish nature of addiction.
This last binge thankfully was not as severe as my drinking from a few months ago and so I believe I've avoided a trip to the ER. But I'm monitoring myself closely, going to meetings with a friend, posting here. Doing a lot of things but most of all making sobriety the #1 priority in my life and without the bull**** notions that made me want to try it my own way for as long as I did. I know my way isn't as long as many others have been. I'm just reaching out in ways I never have been willing and making sure that this time is drastically different than half a**ed attempts in the past. I need help and hope to find it here and also provide what little knowledge and wisdom I have to maybe help others as I stick to a plan.
The one shred I can provide for those who struggle, it's time to be and remain humble, reach out, open up and if your already doing that stuff I look forward to reading your posts and gaining encouragement from them.
to those who read this thanks for bearing my long-windeness. PEACE
I am a day into sobriety having relapsed after a month of abstinence. My pride is broken, I am guilt-ridden and ashamed, and although the anxieties that are spiking in this very early stage are stirred by physiological as much as psychological effects, I'm letting myself face them with renewed clarity instead of thinking of the easiest option to simply escape it. My dabbling in substance has over the last several years morphed into full blown alcoholism. Legal issues, leaving school, losing job, this has all happened. Despite that, I am resolved to remain humble and know that things can/could be worse and that I need to reach out as many ways as possible to overcome this problem once and for all.
Complete and utter arrogance, selfishness, and self righteous attitudes towards the world have maintained years of lies and delusion that my situation was somehow different. "I'm more depressed, the world is too off kilter for me to exist in as a sober man." This and many other phrases trying to convince myself I was special have continually raced through my mind to justify what was purely the selfish nature of addiction.
This last binge thankfully was not as severe as my drinking from a few months ago and so I believe I've avoided a trip to the ER. But I'm monitoring myself closely, going to meetings with a friend, posting here. Doing a lot of things but most of all making sobriety the #1 priority in my life and without the bull**** notions that made me want to try it my own way for as long as I did. I know my way isn't as long as many others have been. I'm just reaching out in ways I never have been willing and making sure that this time is drastically different than half a**ed attempts in the past. I need help and hope to find it here and also provide what little knowledge and wisdom I have to maybe help others as I stick to a plan.
The one shred I can provide for those who struggle, it's time to be and remain humble, reach out, open up and if your already doing that stuff I look forward to reading your posts and gaining encouragement from them.
to those who read this thanks for bearing my long-windeness. PEACE
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 11
I am done. I plan to remain diligent on this website and go to meetings with a SUPER solid sober friend of mine. Create a network of support that is healthy and start enjoying normal existence again. Read books, study, love knowledge and music again
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Washington, Captiol City
Posts: 70
Warm welcomes! Sounds like you have had enough. Great to hear! Be very careful with your detox. Call 911 if it gets too bad withdraw is no game. stay around as there is lots of great support here at SR. Keep posting and reading others posts it will keep you ocupied and out of the bottle. At least It's helping me, Tremendously!!!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
Welcome Michael. We're so glad you found us. SR has been a miracle for me - helped me back on my feet after drinking for a lifetime.
I felt the same way about being here when I joined. I'd been all alone before, struggling to make sense of everything on my own. The feeling of relief was amazing when I began to open up and read other people's thoughts and suggestions. I'm glad you've chosen to lead a sober life. You'll never regret this decision, and you'll avoid so much of the misery many of us have lived through.
I felt the same way about being here when I joined. I'd been all alone before, struggling to make sense of everything on my own. The feeling of relief was amazing when I began to open up and read other people's thoughts and suggestions. I'm glad you've chosen to lead a sober life. You'll never regret this decision, and you'll avoid so much of the misery many of us have lived through.
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