ivegotsunshine

Hi all..
Thinks a touchy subject and a little personal. But, has anyone else's sex drive vanished I.to thin air? In all seriousness, what the heck!? It was like once I got sober my libido vanished. How long does this.last for!?

Fandy

check out the women's forum (if you are female)

Admiral

Yea, definitely. I'm at five months and it kind of comes and goes, but is still only a shadow of what it once was... I can only hope that some day things will go back to normal.

mfsteve1

Same story for me at 9 months.

vegibean

I think it's different for everyone, but I think that's very common. Not to worry, you're on the mend and it may take time. I for one can tell you that I am in my early 40's have, a great man, and all is well.

janiebluebird

I can relate in the sense that I am much more "uninhibited" with another person when I have been drinking, and have a much higher desire to hook up when intoxicated. Not to get too personal, but does this affect you only in the sense of being with another person? Or also when alone?

Redviper

Same here. It's the one thing I thought would get better with sobriety.

ddrayer

Ive wanted to ask this as well. I am struggling with this issue, glad to know I'm not alone

miamifella

It takes time, but it does change.

For a long time after entering recovery I used to say that I masturbated once a month whether I needed to or not. It was a joke, but I really was not interested in sex at all.

Then I did get interested again. Just give it time.

Wastinglife

I had no sex drive when I was a heavy, daily drinker. Alcohol actually suppresses testosterone production so a lot male alcoholics actually get their libido back after getting sober. I had serious sexual side effects with booze that went away as soon as I started living healthy and sober.

Quinne

I was in a relationship for 9 months, the last 2 I was with this person I just did not want to be touched, those were my first 2 months of sobriety. I used to flinch a lot, but that was more to do with me and thinking I was really quite an unattractive person and unworthy of his affections. It does come back! Took a while, but now that I'm with someone I completely trust, who is very unselfish and the act of sex has taken on a new meaning.......totally different. Feel much more comfortable in my own skin

Have to admit it does make me giggle that this area seems to be a little more difficult to talk about; I've told my sponsor pretty much everything I can remember, inclusive of stealing and what I did with my broken moral compass when I was drinking, but sex seems to be a different story!

Xx

FreeFall

Mine seemed to vanish during drinking years and I was hoping sobriety would bring it back. It doesn't seem to be happening yet. So frustrating!

courage2

This is a great topic! If you're a woman, I bumped an old thread on this topic that I found under the Women in Recovery section, see: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...sex-drive.html

I hope women will keep posting on this topic there, & I hope the link insert works!
--

Huglets

Heck, I'm jealous of anyone actually having sex. I stayed completely out of any sexual relationship during my drinking career. It took time away from my drinking so I had no interest.

Now I'm newly sober and not nearly ready to even think about a relationship, sexual or non-sexual (who am I kidding....it always turns into sexual).

I have heard stories from many sober folks tho that relations do change after you become sober. It's different but better. It also takes time.

ivegotsunshine

What a relief! I really do feel better knowing I'm not alone on this! I had posted earlier on that I was worried sobriety would change my marriage. I guess this is partly what I meant. I have an amazing husband and he is so patient with me. I feel very fortunate.
I feel like everything needs to be rep built ... I'm sure this will take time

losteverything

Yes... it seems that the sex drive disappeared once I sobered up.. I was sober last year 9 months, probably had sex 3 times during that period. Sober now again...same thing. It may be that we just dont like the other person so much, when not impaired? I dont know..just feels forced and flat..

jennikate

Same problem here.

BabyJane

It does but then it will return and you'll be fine. Give it time. Don't push yourself to do too much early on just take care of yourself and stay sober. From what I've experienced and seen, the rest falls into place if we are patitent.

FinallyFinished

Mine vanished as well. I'm really glad that this came up. I was wondering if I was alone on this. I'm off to check out the ladies thread!