snitzels

Hello, I was reading the "what does your addiction tell you?" thread and realized, I've heard those voices too much lately. I didn't think I'm addicted until, starting January 1, I thought to start writing down how many I've had every day, with the goal to keep it to only one per day with the wine... turns out I can't stop at one. Or two... or most nights, four. That's an awful lot of wine...

I didn't realize how much I was drinking, but this is totally normal for me and has been since 2006. I cannot fathom how much I've drank in that time. I am really worried, I think maybe I can't trust myself around alcohol at all... .and, though I haven't told anyone else this, I've been drinking at lunchtime and on the way home from work, too. every day...

This seems to be a good place to come, and I would welcome any suggestions. I'm a bit scared to just have realized what an idiot i've been...

mecanix

Hey snitzels ,
be careful , hope to see you post again soon ,

Bestwishes, M

Sapling

My suggestion...Would be to read The Doctor's Opinion and the first few chapters of this book. See if you see yourself in there....I know I saw me.

The text of Alcoholics Anonymous

Sapling

And welcome to SR...You're in a good place.

WhoDey

snitzels ... Welcome. I was in your position a little over a year ago. It increasingly became apparent that I had a problem with drinking, but I didn't know what label to put on it. I still don't. When I came here, it was very disconcerting to be on a site such as this, but I found much that I could relate to in the posts of others.

Again, welcome. Read ... and post ... as you're able.

vegibean

snitzels, if you're questioning yourself, maybe it is time to do some self inventory and see what's going on. You will find tons of support here, and I bet you will be flooded with answers to your post once everyone wakes up. Lol!!!

I was a wine drinker too, just like you, my whole family drank, that was "normal" for us, but when I got married 13 years ago to the biggest A-hole on the planet, my drinking took off and brought me to a place I never want to go to again.

I recently relapsed after almost five years of sobriety, and I started off, just one month, then twice a month, and then it progressed to several bottles of wine a week, and I drank the same way, but it just didn't get as bad this time, I'd finish off a bottle of wine, and maybe a drink at dinner as well... I was going downhill.

So anyway, with that being said, IMO, drinking at lunch, then drinking on the way home, and I'm sure you're grabbing a bottle for the night... possibly? I think that's too much. Like I said, it took a lot for me to get to the point that I don't drink normal. I can't have just one drink, it's all or nothing.

Welcome to SR!!

least

It took a lot for me to admit I had a problem but admitting it was the first step to solving it.

MrsKing

Welcome to SR, snitzels.

Don't be scared about what you've realised. Your realisation could save your health.

Is your goal to quit drinking entirely?

There is much support on these boards, you've come to the right place. I hope you stick around.

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR snitzels

You haven't been an idiot, it's just hard to come to that realisation and not make you feel terribly bad for carrying on drinking. I know I went for many years. Keep coming back x

soberclover

I think it is wonderful that you found this site! Obviously you were searching for information. You will find a ton of information and advice on SR! Congratulations on taking the time to see if you need to make some changes in your life!!

Zebra1275

In my case it took a long time to figure out the obvious.

Welcome to SR!

snitzels

Thank you all so much for the kind words of welcome!

Well... honestly I don't want to quit drinking entirely. I enjoy it, enjoy socializing with others and enjoy the relaxation and I love wines and beers. I just seem to get on these cycles of "what the hell" and drink myself sick for like, months at a time. I'm not sure how that works... I don't want to quit entirely, but maybe I will have to for at least a month or so just to prove to myself that I don't "need" it the way I think I do. Like having two people in my head, you know? One says "it's fine, you don't want to end up as anxiety-ridden and uptight as your parents!" and the other says "omg, please STOP! This is ridiculous and you're ruining your health!" It sounds so silly, but that's what goes on...

Coldfusion

I, and many others, believe the idea of normal drinking is not for us.

I'm not even going to say "Good luck," cause you'll need lots more than luck.

Have you thought about AA?

Dee74

welcome to SR snitzels

D

Hevyn

Hi snitzels! Glad you are taking a look at what drinking is doing to your life. This is a great place to discuss it and get some support.

snitzels

Yeah, I'm beginning to think you're right... I"m not sure I could stop with "normal" drinking, but I am going to try.

I don't think AA would be for me, I'm not religious and don't believe in any higher power or supreme beings, but I have been looking at other support groups in the area. I'm going to try stopping on my own first, and see how that goes...

And you're very right, "luck" will not play much of a part here more like just self control for a change.

Hope4Life

Whats normal, anyway? For me, normal would be a 6 pack a day.... minimum. I had to realize that it was ALL or NOTHING for me and I am so glad that I chose to stop drinking for good. It was a hard decision but after watching my father decend into ALCOHELL and terrorize our family for years, the only choice for me was TO NEVER DRINK AGAIN! There is NO WAY I want to be like him.

Take a good look at yourself and your friends.... are they TRUE friends or just drinking buddies? Would you trust them to take care of your house if you had to get away?

You have some tough decisions to make and it wont be easy but make sure you think it through.

Take Care.

LexieCat

I think just about every alcoholic has to at least ATTEMPT moderation, or else they are not convinced that they need to stop. I know I tried for four and a half years to "moderate" and I kept convincing myself I was "dealing with the problem," but in truth I was getting worse as time went on and wound up way worse than when I started.

So go ahead and try, but I would encourage you not to continue the experiment indefinitely, and also to be brutally honest with yourself about your progress, if any. For myself, I discovered I could keep alcohol on a short leash for discrete periods of time, but over the long term my disease continued to progress. Also, trying to drink moderately was not in the least satisfying for someone who wanted to drink what she wanted to drink. There was, inevitably, after every brief period of seeming control, a boomerang effect where I wanted to drink everything in sight.

Keep an open mind about your drinking, and about AA too. You don't have to believe in a "Supreme Being"--just that there are things in your life (including forces for good) that are greater than yourself. For some people, it is the AA group or the power of the universe. AA is focused on spirituality (really a way of living, not some new-agey quasi religion), not religion. I know many successfully sober AA members who still consider themselves agnostics or atheists.

snitzels

Well, four days with nothing at all so far it's nice to sleep through the night, but omg this is not very easy...