Fernaceman

This. Well said, Tom.

I thought I was awesome, at the beginning at least. Then I too sank into isolation and depression that only drugs would bring me out of. I never really attended parties, because I cut myself off from the world. All I wanted to do or really cared about doing was getting high or drunk. And the only person I really wanted to do that with was, well, me. Plus I hated sharing my drugs or booze.

Pretty pitiful existence for sure.

Midlifecrisis

Yeah true. Towards the end I was just a paranoid mess. An annoying, over bearing, in your face, needy mess followed by a paranoid, psychotic, hiding behind curtains mess. Grrrreeeat!

Thanks everyone for sharing

Sazzle

This! I spent my morning untagging the worst ones. Even more worrying was the amount of 'check-ins' to pubs I was tagged into. My life was unravelling on FB for all to see, except me!

TrixMixer

Well in the 80's there was no Facebook or Smart phones , so there is just no proof out there that I was anything but SPECTACULAR!.....and I am eternally grateful to be able to delude myself!

Sasha4

No.

I felt envious of the people that could make a bottle of beer last all night.
I felt envious of the people that did not have to hide away cringing the next day.
In no way was I cool or funny or charming.
I was a drunk who staggered and fell, became loud and overly emotional.

Why would anyone be jealous of me when I was like that?

Itchy

Only when I young, dumb, and . . . Later I was not so much all that but juggling all the time trying to keep up appearances. I knew I was not even sober, let alone all that. Quite frankly it was too much effort and as we all do. Eventually I stopped trying. That was for the last two drinking years. Then I decided that drinking myself to death was not what I intended and chilling out was off the table by my high tolerance.

Midlifecrisis

I often think about this! I am ever so grateful that during the height of my using there was no socks media!!!!

soberlicious

Good God, me too...I did enough damage with just a landline/house phone. LOL

isinganyway

oh my god you have no idea. i thought i was sooooooooooooooo cool. now i know better lol.

ReadyAndAble

Me too! I went to a concert at a local music hall/tavern this week, and I was James Bond compared to the sloppy drunks next to me—loud as hell, saying stupid stuff, then saying it again even louder because they're convinced it was the cleverest thing anyone would ever hear. Yep, that used to be me.

Knowing what I'm saying—and just as important, knowing when to shut up—makes me a way cooler dude than I ever was when drinking.

Twenties

Alcohol worked for me at first. It really did. I thought I was on top of the world

Then, I became a depressed, lonely, daily drunk, full of guilt and anger. I began to dislike people and their cars and errands and boring lives. Deep down I knew I was in bad shape, so I thrived off the idea of being an outcast, as a defense mechanism or something. I decided I wanted to push the limits as far as I could.. I wanted to prove to the world that I had something in me that the others didn't, those people and their dull, obedient lives. I could always stop drinking later, I thought. Go out, pocket 20 bucks, see where the world takes me. I remember walking down the street my last drunk, and screamed out "Hello God!!" Next thing I know, I wake up in withdrawal, under supervision. I walked into an AA meeting, and found a new path to walk.

Midlifecrisis

That's the trap hey. Alcohol/drugs give you this false sense of well being which eventually becomes the exact opposite of thatz