gall1972

Hello,

Woke up to my Day 2 feeling better. My wife, bless her soul, is downstairs cleaning the kitchen. At least she isnt packing her things like she has in the past. I hope she isnt planning on leaving me again but with a CLEAN house.

BUT she still isnt talking to me..... that will come in time I suppose.

I'm go back to work today. I'm a Police Officer and believe it or not, the work I do is the most normal thing in my life.....

Have a good day everyone!

Gall

ScottFromWI

Good luck Gall, I'm on day 2 as well and so far so good. You can do it!

gall1972

I'm having a hard time with a higher power. I just cant seem to find the faith to believe in a higher power. Faith to me is something you are able to believe in when common sense tells you not to... I just cant do it, never could.

So since I don't have a higher power to hand over my struggles to, I'm going to hand them over to you. I know you are real and you might reply with something.

- Not knowing how to break to ice with my wife to open a conversation with her.

- Feeling embarrassed about things I said and did or might of said and did during my blackout.

- Drunk dialing people and not remembering what I said.

Thats it for Day 2. If I can get over these things I would feel so much better...

Gall

Pamel

Gall, the only thing that has helped me is that whatever a higher power is, it isn't me. When the obsession to drink takes over, I really have no power (except for places like this, and friends who help me to let the obsession pass).

BTW, Day 1 for me (again).

MIRecovery

I can't tell you how much time I've spent trying to figure out who or what God is. I've spent years trying to understand the Catholic God I was raised with, and more years trying to define God from a philosophical perspective, then years denying the whole idea of God by becoming an agnostic and even a part time atheist. It seemed the more I tried to understand God, the further away from Him I got.

Even in early recovery I tried to figure God out - this time through the 'open assignment' of defining a God of my own understanding. You can imagine how that went. I thought about, analyzed and tried once again to understand who or what God was. After a while I grew just as despondent and felt just as far away as before. And that's when I finally surrendered.

Once I gave up trying to understand God and instead looked at the evidence of God's presence in my life, I began to develop a knowing that went beyond understanding. Suddenly I just knew that a force was working miracles in my life, that it was always available to me, and that it would never let me down.

This knowing is what I now call faith, and now I understand why trying to figure God out just makes His job harder...