I'm back and doing well, but my friends are not
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 28
I'm back and doing well, but my friends are not
hello all, I'm back! Not for my self this time, no for a friend of mine. Alas this place seems more for folks that have drinking problems, and my friend is smoking meth. While I know nothing I can do or say will stop him, it is something he must do for him self. That said, I would like to find a place like this that is geared towards the friends of meth users who are worried about them. Any suggestions would be helpful to help me understand what he is dealing with.
So an update about me. First a huge > T H A N K Y O U < to this site! It helped me get over a very rough patch of life a few years back. I learned so much in the few months I was on here.
I know that this is a "sober" site, and to many if not most of you the answer is to stop drinking. I also know that a lot of people are just looking (as I write this it is about 80% guest)
This is to you, the 80% guest. First stop f$%*ing drinking. I did, for a while. Take some time to clear your head, take a steep back and look at what you are doing to your self, I did, and did not like what I saw.
For me, and ONLY me, I took a long hard look at the who/what/why of my drinking. Part of my drinking was to "numb" my self to things rather than deal with them. This is the wrong way to drink, I was drinking to stop the pain.
I took a few months "off". When I started to enjoy a drink again, I was and AM very careful. For me, that means no drinking alone at home. No drinking every night. Do I drink more than 2 drinks in a night, yeah sure, sometimes, just not all the time as before, like maybe 2-3 times a year at a kick ass party that I have a ride home from. A beer after a long hot day at work, yup, and one of the best feelings is walking out after drinking a 1/3 of the 2nd beer! And you know what, one beer gives me a nice mellow buzz. Unlike my drinking days, when It would take 350ml+ of hard booze to feel something.
In closing my most heartfelt thanks to this site and all the help it gave me in my time of need.
If any of you have a link to a site for friends that have friends that have meth abuse issues let me know I'll check back in the next few days to check for any links
xoxo
b!
So an update about me. First a huge > T H A N K Y O U < to this site! It helped me get over a very rough patch of life a few years back. I learned so much in the few months I was on here.
I know that this is a "sober" site, and to many if not most of you the answer is to stop drinking. I also know that a lot of people are just looking (as I write this it is about 80% guest)
This is to you, the 80% guest. First stop f$%*ing drinking. I did, for a while. Take some time to clear your head, take a steep back and look at what you are doing to your self, I did, and did not like what I saw.
For me, and ONLY me, I took a long hard look at the who/what/why of my drinking. Part of my drinking was to "numb" my self to things rather than deal with them. This is the wrong way to drink, I was drinking to stop the pain.
I took a few months "off". When I started to enjoy a drink again, I was and AM very careful. For me, that means no drinking alone at home. No drinking every night. Do I drink more than 2 drinks in a night, yeah sure, sometimes, just not all the time as before, like maybe 2-3 times a year at a kick ass party that I have a ride home from. A beer after a long hot day at work, yup, and one of the best feelings is walking out after drinking a 1/3 of the 2nd beer! And you know what, one beer gives me a nice mellow buzz. Unlike my drinking days, when It would take 350ml+ of hard booze to feel something.
In closing my most heartfelt thanks to this site and all the help it gave me in my time of need.
If any of you have a link to a site for friends that have friends that have meth abuse issues let me know I'll check back in the next few days to check for any links
xoxo
b!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Good to see you again Xge310 - I'm happy you've found a solution that works for you 
I'm sorry to hear about your friend tho.
You probably know as well as I do we can't make anyone do something, or not do something - it has to come from within them to stop....but maybe this forum might be of specific use to you?
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
I'm sorry to hear about your friend tho.
You probably know as well as I do we can't make anyone do something, or not do something - it has to come from within them to stop....but maybe this forum might be of specific use to you?
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
Trudger of Happy Destiny
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 1,918
I'll simply say this, be careful. You could be playing with fire:
"Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better."
Do be well and take care.
"Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better."
Do be well and take care.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: SC
Posts: 133
I have tried moderation in the past and it always led to nothing good (that's just my experience). My intentions were always good, but it was way way to easy for me to fall right back into it and each time it was a little bit worse than the last. Not to be discouraging, as that might be okay for you- no sarcasm intended- I promise! It has just never worked for me...and maybe I needed to write that to reinforce that to myself too!! Just posted a similar thread before I read this...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 28
@Fernaceman, I did a long answer to you replay, my login timed out before I posted it.
your statement "No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows"
Is a bit irrelevant to me, please see my posting from some years back. In some of those post I talk frankly about my issues with other things(pot & cocaine) Each person is different. I feel in my case I was drinking to avoid/drown some things going on in my life at that time. My drinking was not the problem, nor the cause. However it became a coping tool that I has becoming dependent on. To much of anything is bad for you. If it is pizza & ice cream = fat, speed=tweeker, drinking=drunk.
xoxo
b!
your statement "No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows"
Is a bit irrelevant to me, please see my posting from some years back. In some of those post I talk frankly about my issues with other things(pot & cocaine) Each person is different. I feel in my case I was drinking to avoid/drown some things going on in my life at that time. My drinking was not the problem, nor the cause. However it became a coping tool that I has becoming dependent on. To much of anything is bad for you. If it is pizza & ice cream = fat, speed=tweeker, drinking=drunk.
xoxo
b!
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