beaglemania

Before making a profile I read through some posts that I found encouraging so I figured I'd give this a go. I'm 25 and having a hard time switching my brain over from seeing everything from a negative point of view right now. Why did I have to be an alcoholic? I've been at this "recovery" deal for over a year now and just can't seem to make it stick. The longest I've lasted is 4 months. I felt great...but I had no social life. I'm kind of shy and the idea of having to make all new friends without my liquid courage was/is terrifying. I was sober...but I wasn't enjoying the sober life...so I resorted back to drinking. Now I'm miserable again and relying on alcohol for the short period of time that it gives me relief. I envy those my age: my coworkers, my college friends, my twin sister, etc. They have normal productive lives and get to go enjoy a night out drinking every now and then. My life currently consists of being trapped at my parents house (they took my car keys away) with no social privaledges except to go to work. This is not the life I want. Why can't I stay sober? What I want to know more is why doesn't sobriety appeal to me that much? My first go at it wasn't that exciting.

choublak

Welcome!

You're 25 and your parents took your car keys away? You're an adult, but if you live in their house, and they have rules...

There are plenty of people on here that are your age and understand where you're coming from.

ReadyAndAble

Hi, beaglemania. Welcome to SR.

When you say you've been at recovery for a year, do you mean you've been sober, or you've been drinking some, or mostly drinking?

I can only offer my experience, which is that the entire planet started looking a lot better to me once I had some solid time away from the bottle. It didn't solve all my other problems, but once unchained from an addiction, everything else became a lot more manageable. I started feeling hopeful again too, and that alone made an enormous difference.

Don't know if that's of any use, but glad you found us.

kam00096

Hey Beagle. Am in the same situation as you (28 and living at home) and if I drove I'm 100% certain my folks would have taken keys off me too! As it is I'm back to handbag and coat searches and questioning every time I leave my bedroom. And I have no one to blame but myself! Trust has to be earned and my parents simply don't trust me anymore. I envy my sister and friends too but I'm not like them and won't live a productive life like theirs until I stop drinking. Which may not seem appealing or exciting right now but has got to be better than the alternative! It's not easy. I can't see anyway to escape the things about my home life that make me want to drink while I'm still drinking as I couldn't cope on my own. I guess we battle through, make it stick this time, no matter how hard, and just go about building happy and healthy lives for ourselves.

TomSawyer

I'm 24 and fast approaching 25 so I can relate, although I am new to this as well so I can only offer tidbits of my own experiences. I have done the bouts of sobriety, or "taking a break from alcohol" many times. And I've been there - those breaks mostly consisted of me sitting at home doing nothing, because all of my friends were out partying and whatnot and I had no other alternatives. I think that is what steered me wrong; it is extremely important to get out and experience new activities rather than just wait around until a "break" from alcohol is over. I am really making a conscious effort to join some new groups around my area and engage in some new experiences.

I have found a bit of social solace in AA meetings. Where I am, there are a number of meetings exclusively for young people as well, so I am really hoping to meet some new people through those. I do not want to give up my existing friends, but I feel like I have to get to the point where both they and I know I cannot have a drink before I can do that again.

artsoul

Welcome beaglemania -

I think it's pretty normal to feel like a fish out of water for a while. Socializing, dealing with feelings, developing interests/friendships sober, feeling bored, etc...... all those are challenges we learn to deal with over time.

Having ongoing support is the biggest thing for most of us, I think. I also found that I needed some professional help with my depression. It sounds like you're in touch with some of the reasons you drink which is good - it can help you out when it comes to working on new solutions.

Glad you're here!

beaglemania

Thanks for the feedback. I find it encouraging. When I say I've been at the recovery thing for a year I mean I've spent time in detox, rehab, and have been seeing an addictions counselor (who I really like) and attending groups. When I'm in a setting with professionals I'm on my best behavior.. I have no problem staying away from alcohol and following rules. It's when I'm in the real world that I struggle. Now I'm contemplating moving out of my parents so I can have the opportunity to work on some sort of positive social life but it freaks me out at the same time. The last few years have been the worst, most trying years of my life... I want to put them behind me.

pattyj

I am just about to turn 30 and am working on my sobriety. I do not have any sober friends. I wish I could drink like others who have a night or two out and that's it. But we are different. I have a twin sister as well who has a glass or two once in awhile.
When I was 19, my parents made me move back in with them for college because of drinking, drugging, and eating disorders. I HATED them for a long time but looking back I am very thankful for what they did. They did this so I could get my life on track. I now have a master's degree, a house, a great job. Yes, I'm still looking for sober friends and struggling with sobriety but I am way better off now.
It sucks to live with your parents. It sucks to not have friends or no social life. But... it could be worse. You could have absolutely no one. Go to a meeting and introduce yourself to someone nice. Take a knitting class or something. Drag your mom to them with you if you aren't trusted to go alone. Sign up for an online continuing education class.
We are still so young; better to get our health in order first and life will fall into place eventually.
And remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side... Just thought I would throw that out there.

Delilah1

Welcome Beaglemania,

Glad you found SR, it is a 24/7 source of support. You are so young, and getting sober now you will have your whole life to follow your dreams with a clear head. Life won't always be easy, but once you get some sober time under your belt you will be able to handle whatever is thrown at you with a clear head.

I stopped for good at 41 after trying to cut back, adjust my drinking time, skip days... And although there were some tough nights in the beginning, and temptation has crept in a few times I kept reminding myself to think it through to tomorrow morning. I have not once regretted waking up sober, however, I can't even begin to count how many mornings I regretted waking up hungover.

Keep reading and posting!!!!