n00b
Southern Sky
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 26
n00b
Hai everyone,
Just signed onto this forum after a few days of lurking. I've been looking for places for specific alcohol-related support and this seems like a good place.
I saw my psychiatrist recently and after telling him about my drinking, he said I had 'alcohol dependence' and that I had to STOP DRINKING. This came as quite a surprise to me. I figured I might have a 'bit of a drinking problem', but to be told that my drinking was a BIG [emphasis: doctor] problem was unexpected.
I'm still conflicted about the concept I have 'alcohol dependence'. On the one hand, I can acknowledge that my drinking is problematic on some level. After all, I was the one who brought up that I had started drinking again to my doctor so there is a part of me that views my drinking as not normal. On the other hand, I keep thinking that he's exaggerating and that my drinking isn't so bad. I keep thinking that others drink the same as me, so therefore what's the problem?
Anyway, I hope to be able to solve this conundrum while on this forum.
A little bit more about me - I have enough psychiatric diagnoses to play scrabble with, and I'm a photographer and musician.
Just signed onto this forum after a few days of lurking. I've been looking for places for specific alcohol-related support and this seems like a good place.
I saw my psychiatrist recently and after telling him about my drinking, he said I had 'alcohol dependence' and that I had to STOP DRINKING. This came as quite a surprise to me. I figured I might have a 'bit of a drinking problem', but to be told that my drinking was a BIG [emphasis: doctor] problem was unexpected.
I'm still conflicted about the concept I have 'alcohol dependence'. On the one hand, I can acknowledge that my drinking is problematic on some level. After all, I was the one who brought up that I had started drinking again to my doctor so there is a part of me that views my drinking as not normal. On the other hand, I keep thinking that he's exaggerating and that my drinking isn't so bad. I keep thinking that others drink the same as me, so therefore what's the problem?
Anyway, I hope to be able to solve this conundrum while on this forum.
A little bit more about me - I have enough psychiatric diagnoses to play scrabble with, and I'm a photographer and musician.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome to SR....I wasted years trying to convince myself I wasn't that bad....It cost me everything. See if this makes sense.
Chapter 3
MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.
Chapter 3
MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.
Southern Sky
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 26
Thanks, that passage makes sense to me.
I guess my main issue is making that first step, of fully accepting that my drinking is problematic. There is a part of me that thinks my drinking habits are normal. I guess acceptance itself is a long and hard process.
I guess my main issue is making that first step, of fully accepting that my drinking is problematic. There is a part of me that thinks my drinking habits are normal. I guess acceptance itself is a long and hard process.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I had to be beaten into a sense of reasonableness....I couldn't differentiate the true from the false. That would be the first step in recovery....I found it a lot easier when I got past that one....Fighting it....Was torture.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Corvus 
I remember when I was first told I was 'alcohol dependent'. Even though I was seeking help for an alcohol problem I still didn't like them saying that. God help them if they tried to label me an alcoholic! I did end up calling myself that though eventually. It's all a bit much to deal with putting labels on things. Personally though, I don't think it really matters what we call it as long as we do something about it. You'll figure it all out for yourself eventually. No one can tell you what is the best thing for you to do. Everyone has to walk their own path.
The person who told me I was alcohol dependent didn't try and make me stop drinking though, but tried to make me cut back. It became evident (after about 3 years) that I wasn't capable of doing that. I was then told by a neurologist that I had to stop drinking and it still came as a big shock to me, and nearly another year before I quit. With the help of SR really. And then AA and various other things. I'm sure you'll find all the answers you need here x
I remember when I was first told I was 'alcohol dependent'. Even though I was seeking help for an alcohol problem I still didn't like them saying that. God help them if they tried to label me an alcoholic! I did end up calling myself that though eventually. It's all a bit much to deal with putting labels on things. Personally though, I don't think it really matters what we call it as long as we do something about it. You'll figure it all out for yourself eventually. No one can tell you what is the best thing for you to do. Everyone has to walk their own path.
The person who told me I was alcohol dependent didn't try and make me stop drinking though, but tried to make me cut back. It became evident (after about 3 years) that I wasn't capable of doing that. I was then told by a neurologist that I had to stop drinking and it still came as a big shock to me, and nearly another year before I quit. With the help of SR really. And then AA and various other things. I'm sure you'll find all the answers you need here x
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hello Corvus ,
I had a drinking problem , i tried lots of ways to solve it which included still drinking , strangely the drinking problem was still a problem . The only thing that solved my drinking problem was not drinking at all .
I still have other problems , up's and down's, but drinking now isn't part of the picture and i'm better at dealing with the other problems without getting wasted .
Bestwishes, M
I had a drinking problem , i tried lots of ways to solve it which included still drinking , strangely the drinking problem was still a problem . The only thing that solved my drinking problem was not drinking at all .
I still have other problems , up's and down's, but drinking now isn't part of the picture and i'm better at dealing with the other problems without getting wasted .
Bestwishes, M
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Near Rockford, IL
Posts: 90
Hello Corvus my friend,
Only you can trully admit to a drinking problem, regardless of who or how many tell you.
Take that step, dont be afraid, you will be a better person and will be more capable of handling problems and leading a good life.
Only you can trully admit to a drinking problem, regardless of who or how many tell you.
Take that step, dont be afraid, you will be a better person and will be more capable of handling problems and leading a good life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Hello Corvus ,
Welcome. It doesn't matter what anyone says or what you call your pattern. You're behind the steering wheel and the decision rests in your hands. Just please don't drink and drive. I and many others here can testify that it will seriously impact your life. Especially on Xmas. Getting wrapped around a telephone pole... well, 'nuff said.
"Ho ho" can become "oh no!" Xmas eve in jail sucks. I can only imagine. It hasn't happened to me, but I have been in jail. It was more of a country club, but it still sucked, and the fines and DUI classes really sucked. Riding a bicycle, doing community service, having to disclose on job applications that you've got a DUI. It's all around a sucky situation.
I fervently hope that I never drink and drive again. I had a friend call me up whose car had died and needed help. I hadn't drank that day, but I've got a cold and haven't eaten hardly at all. I'm sure I would have been shaky behind the wheel, so I had to turn him down. It's OK. We're still friends, and I've still got my driver's license which I cherish and use sparingly.
Welcome. It doesn't matter what anyone says or what you call your pattern. You're behind the steering wheel and the decision rests in your hands. Just please don't drink and drive. I and many others here can testify that it will seriously impact your life. Especially on Xmas. Getting wrapped around a telephone pole... well, 'nuff said.
"Ho ho" can become "oh no!" Xmas eve in jail sucks. I can only imagine. It hasn't happened to me, but I have been in jail. It was more of a country club, but it still sucked, and the fines and DUI classes really sucked. Riding a bicycle, doing community service, having to disclose on job applications that you've got a DUI. It's all around a sucky situation.
I fervently hope that I never drink and drive again. I had a friend call me up whose car had died and needed help. I hadn't drank that day, but I've got a cold and haven't eaten hardly at all. I'm sure I would have been shaky behind the wheel, so I had to turn him down. It's OK. We're still friends, and I've still got my driver's license which I cherish and use sparingly.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi and welcome Corvus
I don't think it's useful to compare ourselves to others in this situation.
I know people who drink more than I did who seem outwardly at least fine...others who drank less that me have died from their drinking.
All I know for sure is my drinking took away my life and my health - my drinking was a problem - for me.
D
I don't think it's useful to compare ourselves to others in this situation.
I know people who drink more than I did who seem outwardly at least fine...others who drank less that me have died from their drinking.
All I know for sure is my drinking took away my life and my health - my drinking was a problem - for me.
D
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I just surrounded myself with people that drank as much or more than me.
That way I appeared normal. Thing is....after a while even the bad drunks thought I was bad.
Personally, I think it has less to do with how much/how frequently you drink and really more do to with that "part of you" that knows it's not what you want to do. That feeling that you're not quite right and that something about your drinking really bothers you.
That's the voice of reason. The real you. Try not drowning it out for awhile and see what the real you has to say about it.
That conflicted feeling, that "being of two minds" that you describe is extremely common among the addicted.
That way I appeared normal. Thing is....after a while even the bad drunks thought I was bad.
Personally, I think it has less to do with how much/how frequently you drink and really more do to with that "part of you" that knows it's not what you want to do. That feeling that you're not quite right and that something about your drinking really bothers you.
That's the voice of reason. The real you. Try not drowning it out for awhile and see what the real you has to say about it.
That conflicted feeling, that "being of two minds" that you describe is extremely common among the addicted.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Originally Posted by soberlicious 
That conflicted feeling, that "being of two minds" that you describe is extremely common among the addicted.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by renaldo
It's the gun pointed firmly at foot phenomenon. You look at it pointed there and pull the trigger anyway. Rinse and repeat.
Originally Posted by corvus
I have enough psychiatric diagnoses to play scrabble with,
The reality of it is though....alcohol will exacerbate any existing psychiatric problems. And for some of us, It was actually the cause.
Trudger of Happy Destiny
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 1,918
For me it was important to not compare my drinking situation to others. They simply aren't related. As far as being a problematic drinker, I realized that I am an clinic because I have an allergy to alcohol coupled with an obsession. Once I start I cannot stop, and when I am not drinking I am obsessing and thinking about it along with being restless, irritable, and discontent.
Hang in there. You only have to stop when you don't wish to face any more hypothetical consequences in your life. They are called "yets." Be grateful you are already beginning to address the issue before it spirals into something more. It took me many years of beating my head against an imaginary wall and a lot of unneeded misery to get to where I am today. Don't get me wrong tho, sobriety is great. I will take it any day of the week over the depression of active drinking.
Hang in there. You only have to stop when you don't wish to face any more hypothetical consequences in your life. They are called "yets." Be grateful you are already beginning to address the issue before it spirals into something more. It took me many years of beating my head against an imaginary wall and a lot of unneeded misery to get to where I am today. Don't get me wrong tho, sobriety is great. I will take it any day of the week over the depression of active drinking.
Southern Sky
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 26
Thanks everyone for the welcome.
I think not comparing myself to others is one of the main hurdles I have. I'm trying to just look at my own drinking habits, which I can acknowledge is not healthy.
I haven't had a drink in two days, so I chalk that as a good thing.
I think not comparing myself to others is one of the main hurdles I have. I'm trying to just look at my own drinking habits, which I can acknowledge is not healthy.
I haven't had a drink in two days, so I chalk that as a good thing.
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