TTBABP

Well, I went to a customary Christmas Eve gathering and although the wine (my drink of choice) was flowing both red and white I did not have a drop.

Unfortunately I left this gathering feeling bad as usual. I had a fight with a very close relative (who is also the host of the party) about something stupid. I know I should have walked away bacause this person was clearly drinking way too much - which is not unusual - but I engaged and now I feel awful. Seems like every year I am so looking forward to Christmas Eve but then I sort of feel like I am only invited out of some sense of obligation and I leave feeling bad.

I was hoping that not drinking would change things at least a little but it didn't. Well at least I won't wake up with a hang over and will hopefully have a better time at the Christmas Day gathering (which is with the other side of the family) That's a definite plus.

Guess I just needed to get that out.

Ghostly

It is unfortunate that so many family / friend get togethers have to have drama. I experienced that this holiday season too. Glad you are staying sober though.

stepping

(((TT))) - I am sorry that this happened. Maybe the fact that they were drinking had something to do with it. It is hard in social situations in early recovery. I know I have a hard time. Usually I avoid. But, I know when it is the holidays and family that can be hard to do. Maybe you can give them a call tomorrow or the next day and talk it through when that person sobers up. Don't let this get you down. I am not sure what happened but just remember you can't control what life throws at you but you can control how you react to it. Try not to let someone elses PROBLEMS bother you. Chin up. The nights not over. Turn that frown upside down and enjoy the rest of your Christmas Eve night and HANGOVER free Christmas morning. Big hug hun!!!!

Dee74

Things do change - cos we do TTBABP...but it wasn't really until my 2nd Xmas I really felt the change....it's a gradual thing, I think

Stay with it

D

member72

Thats too bad. There is always a spoiler out there. Seems you have done all you could, Great to hear you did not choose to take out your frustration the liquid way. Merry christmas none the less!

grandma12

Im sorry your night ended like that but it is great you stayed sobor. I have 15 days in and this is first Christmas in 5 years Iv been sobor. I didnt start drinking at all utill my Mom passed away 5 years ago, at 46 you would thing i was a little old to start drinking, but thats how i dealt with things. Now I just want my life back.

TTBABP

Thanks everyone. Your support really does help.

Sorry you had drama, too ghostly. I can't belive at my age (45) that sometimes I still feel like I'm in high school.

You are right Stepping I have to learn not to let other people and their issues bother me. I can only control myself. Thanks for the hug - needed it.

Thanks as always Dee - that's another thing I have to learn - the gradual thing. I'm an instant gratification type person want things done, resolved immediately. In this and all of life I must begin to practice patience.

Thanks member. Merry Christmas to you too. Another celebration tomorrow so hopefully the season will be bright.

Thank you too grandma. Congratulations on your first sober Christmas. I am sorry for your loss. I understand how at 41 you could turn to drink to numb the pain of that type of loss. Alcohol is a false friend when we are suffering. I am so glad to see you are ready to get your life back and you have figured that out about 15-20 years of drinking sooner than I did. If you have not already come join our Class of December thread.

Dee74

oh, I was like that too - very much
I like the me I am now better tho, TTBABP.

don't beat yourself up - you came, you saw, you didn't drink and you left - that's awesome

D

ReadyAtLast

Hi

When I saw the title of your thread I thought you'd had a drink.I'm so glad you didn't and you should be proud of yourself.

It's such a difficult time of year,under any circumstances,emotions run high,people have high expectations and are 'expected' to be jolly and have fun.Feeling disappointed is not bad and don't be too hard on yourself

Life will get better but it doesn't happen immediately and life is just still life,bad and good. Being sober you 'll just have better skills to cope and deal.

Be proud of yourself for not drinking in an emotional situation-you did good

Merry Christmas

NapsteR1

Its a shame the evening didn't go the way you hoped, TBABP but I think you've got to focus on the fact you went out and didn't drink, plus you're now about to go to another gathering where I'm assuming there will be people who know you were out last night and yet you're not going to turn up hanging so there's positives there too?

Well done mate,

neferkamichael

TTBABP, still sober? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations and Merry Christmas. For a change all went well with me and my family, but the truth is I politely said hello to everybody and sat in the section with the ones I get along with and didn't move.

TTBABP

Thanks Ready & NapsteR Your support really means a lot and I am proud that I didn't drink. So yes I guess I did do good!

Thansk to you too neferkamichael - think I will adopt your strategy especially for awhile and just hang with people that I do get along with.

avocado

I personally hate the way society builds pushes these whole 'happy, jolly time of year' ideas. It strikes me as crass marketing to sell products and get people to overspend on festivities. Most people seem to either be depressed this time of year or wrapped up in a consumerist numbness where they figure they can buy their kids tons of stuff and make happiness come from that. It's why I kind of loathe this time of year.

stepping

TT IS SOBER ON CHRISTMAS MORNING and your troubles from last night are further away! HUGS!!!!

Fdm

Hey TT, I feel ya. When my wife can ever get Christmas off, I want to go away from here.