okkaden

Well, I know the world isn't ending really, and I know sobriety isn't the end of the world, but everyone I know is getting wasted to 'celebrate' our final hours.

I am about a day and a half sober right now. I made it a month in July, I got my 1 month chip and all, but then told myself I was only using alcoholism as an excuse to avoid addressing my other problems, and began drinking again. Slowly at first, but next thing I know, I am drinking alone for 3 hours before my friends get off work and I continue drinking for hours with them at the bar.

I am 24 years old. I have never gotten a DWI. I have never gotten arrested for drinking related problems. I've never really been in much of a physical altercation from drinking. At my worst, I would drink whiskey for a good 6 hours out of the day until I would wind up on my kitchen floor hurting myself physcially. I still have a hard time convincing myself quitting drinking is the right thing to do.

I have set up a therapist appointment, for some time next week - the holidays are proving to be a pretty tough time to quit.

Drinking has become my culture. I've worked in bars for 10 years and I want my future profession to be writing... and I know some of my favorite writers and proud and self-proclaimed alcoholics..

My girlfriend drinks. She drinks around me, but not heavily. She never asked me to quit, but she says she likes it better when I don't drink. I find it hard to talk to her about it though, because she doesn't have much of a response whenever I try to tell her how getting sober is affecting me. My little brother and best friend is as about as lost as I was at my worst, and I am stuck in between helping him and avoiding being sucked into the downward spiral that he's in right now.

I guess I just need help understanding how to be a young 20 something who doesn't have an outward severe problem with alcoholism, because I do a pretty good job of appearing sober. All I can think about is drinking. I didn't have physical withdrawals much this time, I did last time.. but the anxiety is killing me. I've been working out, I've been eating healthy, I'm trying to stay busy but my mind is just going to fast for me to keep up with. Any advice? Thanks for taking the time to read this. Feels nice to get it out, I think...

GirlFromCO

Why, because hurting yourself physically or in any other way is the right thing to do????? Passing out on the kitchen floor does seem to indicate a severe drinking problem, as does obsessing over drinking, and learning how to be cool when you're really plastered. Be honest with yourself.

Also, anxiety IS a sign of withdrawal. I don't mean to come off as harsh but you won't get anywhere if you can't start to look at your behavior as objectively as possible. I know this from experience so I promise I'm not trying to be an @sshole.

Dee74

welcome okkaden

It's well into Friday where I am - the worlds still here


ok...yet you also say this?
and this?

thats simply not normal - or good - okkaden.

I was a musician and a writer...drinking stopped being a creative tool for me and instead it stole my creativity away. Completely.

I didn't write anything for many many years, music or prose, before I quit.

Some of my friends, ans most of my idols, musical or literary died young from substance abuse. The one's who've survived are, almost to a man (or woman), abstemious like me.

I didn' want to change my life either - so I kept drinking - soon I wasn't 20 anymore...I was 40...I'd wasted two decades - I'd lost two careers, countless relationships...and I nearly killed myself drinking.

I wish I'd been mature enough to quit at your age - it would have meant a few changes - but I could have saved myself and my loved ones a *lot* of pain.

Alcoholism is progressive...it's like how you said you never had physical withdrawals before but last time you did?

you can expect that to stick around - and to get worse.

I'm an old guy now but there's lots of sober young people here too - I know you'll hear from them too

D

Delilah1

Dee, good to know the world isn't slowly slipping away as the time zones reach midnight!!

Okkaden, I too wish I had stopped in my twenties, however, I waited til I was 41. I never lost a job, got a DUI or had a huge rock bottom, but I knew I was drinking too much and I got tired of trying to moderate, plan my drinking and waking up exhsusted because I was up to late the night before.

It sounds like you are trying to help others in your life as well. You should start by worrying about you, I know that may sound selfish, but if you want to he,l your brother or anyone else you need to be comfortable in your sobriety first.

As long as we are all still around tomorrow, I look forward to seeing more posts from you!!

sugarbear1

I bolded some things that stuck out...alcoholism, how I can't live life without drinking, is a progressive thing and WILL get worse. You've already tried to stay stopped and couldn't do it.

Don't wait until it gets worse!

We have a high tolerance of intake which some call an allergy along with an obsession....

Find a method to help you stay stopped! You can do this before it ALL gets worse!

I wish you well on your sober journey!

Cwbugycody

Good luck. Take one day at a time. Don't throw away 19 years like I did before getting sober. I now have 58 days and would not trade it for 19 years I had before. Hang in there.