Woke up in another police cell.....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Lion,
You've gotten some great advice, but here is mine:
Just stop f'ing drinking. Ok?
And it is going to suck at first, and you are going to feel terrible and out of place and awkward and all of that. But if you don't you are going to damage yourself or other people, perhaps permanently. Nothing is going to get better until you stop. I can't sugar coat it for you because I know where you are and I know where this leads.
You've gotten some great advice, but here is mine:
Just stop f'ing drinking. Ok?
And it is going to suck at first, and you are going to feel terrible and out of place and awkward and all of that. But if you don't you are going to damage yourself or other people, perhaps permanently. Nothing is going to get better until you stop. I can't sugar coat it for you because I know where you are and I know where this leads.
Been there, done that!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: London
Posts: 539
Thank you all, iam so desperate that I have not been able to sleep much last night. I think something has finally hit home this time..i will do anything this time if it means feeling uncomfortable for ever so be it, finding new friends etc so be it..... Iam done.
Thank god..
Thank god..
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 133
I think we are all the same here, just at different partd of the slipperly slope.
Ive never woken up in a cell but with the way things have been this year, its only luck!! And next year it will happen if I keep drinking.
Im on day 3 for the 100th time. Youre not alone in this :-)
Ive never woken up in a cell but with the way things have been this year, its only luck!! And next year it will happen if I keep drinking.
Im on day 3 for the 100th time. Youre not alone in this :-)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Originally Posted by wpainterw 
Lion: Let me add a P.S. The more I think about this the more it seems to me that, although there is a "way out" the people who manage to take this way out are often so desperate that they would do anything, anything, to get into recovery from this illness. I've heard folks say they'd do anything, run naked through the park, if that's what it would take. They are ready to throw aside all their previous ideas of "pride", what they "believed" in, throw it all overboard if necessary just to survive, to stop the humiliation, the loss of job, reputation, friends, family, the humiliation. A person must be ready to choose survival over death. Has it reached that point with you? If not, maybe it will because one thing is sure. It can only get worse. Far worse.
W.
W.
- Joni Mitchell.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Hi Lion,
I am glad I just read this tonight, there is a huge difference between your first and last post. I know it is hard sometimes but you can do this. You have been a support to many people on this site, me included.
Think about your name, a lion is the symbol of courage, you are strong and you can do this. The next time that voice creeps into your head log on here, go for a walk, go to a meeting, read a book, watch some trashy tv, just sont have that first drink.
I know you can do this!!!
I am glad I just read this tonight, there is a huge difference between your first and last post. I know it is hard sometimes but you can do this. You have been a support to many people on this site, me included.
Think about your name, a lion is the symbol of courage, you are strong and you can do this. The next time that voice creeps into your head log on here, go for a walk, go to a meeting, read a book, watch some trashy tv, just sont have that first drink.
I know you can do this!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 21
Lion. I drank for the same reasons as you are. I was crap at being social. Very shy, never felt I could talk to people without alcohol, scared to go into some one else's house even without some sort of liquid tranquilizer.
I thought I'd be house bound once I quit. But, although the first couple of meals and meetings sober were hard, they were only the first. Then I realised I was able to do it. Not only that, but I was a much better, funnier and more interesting person sober and I didn't make a dick of myself either. I now prefer going out and meeting people sober. Yes, I still have a small ball of fear at first, it's early days, but the ball is getting smaller and I'm getting happier... much.
Good luck with it. You can do it. Worse cases than you have. Just don't make excuses.
I thought I'd be house bound once I quit. But, although the first couple of meals and meetings sober were hard, they were only the first. Then I realised I was able to do it. Not only that, but I was a much better, funnier and more interesting person sober and I didn't make a dick of myself either. I now prefer going out and meeting people sober. Yes, I still have a small ball of fear at first, it's early days, but the ball is getting smaller and I'm getting happier... much.
Good luck with it. You can do it. Worse cases than you have. Just don't make excuses.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Lionhearted1
Thank you all, iam so desperate that I have not been able to sleep much last night. I think something has finally hit home this time..i will do anything this time if it means feeling uncomfortable for ever so be it, finding new friends etc so be it..... Iam done.
Thank god..
Thank god..
heres what i read:
ya thank God. yer willing to do anything:= quit screwin around and get back to AA. if ya put in the footwork, you will crawl out from under the train, you will find friends who care about you and will help you learn how to work the program and live life instead of just existing, then your life will take on new meaning.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Gainesville, FL
Posts: 96
Lion,
Drinkin' is a lot like Russian roulette. This time you woke up in a cell. Next drink you could wake up in a hospital, or you could not wake up at all. Find whatever is keeping you from drinking at work, grab it by the horns, and apply it to every aspect of your life. Do whatever it takes to not drink.
Drinkin' is a lot like Russian roulette. This time you woke up in a cell. Next drink you could wake up in a hospital, or you could not wake up at all. Find whatever is keeping you from drinking at work, grab it by the horns, and apply it to every aspect of your life. Do whatever it takes to not drink.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 929
Originally Posted by Lionhearted1
Thank you all, iam so desperate that I have not been able to sleep much last night. I think something has finally hit home this time..i will do anything this time if it means feeling uncomfortable for ever so be it, finding new friends etc so be it..... Iam done.
Thank god..
Thank god..
I took the liberty of browsing through a few of your posts, so as to bring to light the reality that you do seem to be locked in a predictable pattern of behaviour.
What supports will you put in place so as to break out of the pattern and get yourself sober?
What you're currently doing, doesn't seem to be working.
11 09 2012 - 'So for the last time this is my day 1 again........,,'
11 11 2012 - 'But i am determined to get this, I will get this, i have never failed at anything and this will not beat me!!!!'
11 21 2012 - 'there will never be a time i forgett that i cant drink i only have to look in the mirror at the scars on my face to realise that its not an option,'
11 23 2012 - 'And the most important thing of all don't pick up the first drink no matter what!!!'
11 01 2012 - 'i have just turned 30 and have been trying to quit since i was about 24 '
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: England
Posts: 81
Hey. Just wanted to say that you can do it if you want to. It's hard and you will doubt yourself, I see from your initial post that you're in the habit of justifying your behavior as if it's outside of your control. You can break that habit. You'll hear people saying that you have to be kind to yourself in recovery, but I find that being hard on myself is what keeps me from drinking.
At first I felt myself start down the self-pitiful "oh what's the point! I'll just have a f++cking drink, I don't care anymore!" train of thought quite frequently. I just remind myself that I don't deserve to get what I want; I've proved time and time again that what I want involves hurting others and being a hideous, selfish tw@t.
Pleasantly, and to my surprise, over time what I wanted changed. Now I want to be happy and loved and free. You've come here because you want that too, and it's yours for the taking.
At first I felt myself start down the self-pitiful "oh what's the point! I'll just have a f++cking drink, I don't care anymore!" train of thought quite frequently. I just remind myself that I don't deserve to get what I want; I've proved time and time again that what I want involves hurting others and being a hideous, selfish tw@t.
Pleasantly, and to my surprise, over time what I wanted changed. Now I want to be happy and loved and free. You've come here because you want that too, and it's yours for the taking.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Originally Posted by Lionhearted1
Thank you all, iam so desperate that I have not been able to sleep much last night. I think something has finally hit home this time..i will do anything this time if it means feeling uncomfortable for ever so be it, finding new friends etc so be it..... Iam done.
Thank god..
Thank god..
W.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 521
I agree with all the tough love you are getting. I was on that same road myself. I have woken up so many times unable to remember who I had hurt, why I said what I said, why I was in a jail cell. But, only YOU can be the one to stop yourself. I spent so much time in the world of make believe. Where I could stop drinking if only... I tried harder, did something different, prayed harder.
Then I learned about grace... and that I have to accept this sober life and give up my drinking... which is hard as all get out.. because it was my friend, closer then my lover, my jailer.
Good luck... but, until you find your lowest point... you won't stop. Only you can do that. The trench prayer only works until you are out of that situation... then life goes back to normal... and we forget how it felt to wake up in that cell.
Then I learned about grace... and that I have to accept this sober life and give up my drinking... which is hard as all get out.. because it was my friend, closer then my lover, my jailer.
Good luck... but, until you find your lowest point... you won't stop. Only you can do that. The trench prayer only works until you are out of that situation... then life goes back to normal... and we forget how it felt to wake up in that cell.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 484
Getting sober, and staying sober isn't an easy task. I am proof of that. But that being said, I only have one question for you LH:
(Okay, maybe two.)
1)How many times have you been to jail sober?
2)How many times have you been to jail drunk?
That should give you some perspective into your situation. Doesn't sound like booze is working for you. Maybe one day you'll be able to control your drinking, but it really doesn't look like that's possible for you right now.
And from what I've seen, most people in your situation never regain control of their drinking. Lord knows I've tried to beat the game. Hasn't worked out well for me yet.
Just my $0.02.
Good luck to you.
(Okay, maybe two.)
1)How many times have you been to jail sober?
2)How many times have you been to jail drunk?
That should give you some perspective into your situation. Doesn't sound like booze is working for you. Maybe one day you'll be able to control your drinking, but it really doesn't look like that's possible for you right now.
And from what I've seen, most people in your situation never regain control of their drinking. Lord knows I've tried to beat the game. Hasn't worked out well for me yet.
Just my $0.02.
Good luck to you.
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