Mafalda

I have often wondered about this ability. Of course not all women manage to do this but reading these posts it seems that even the heavy drinkers somehow manage to quit cold turkey when they find they are pregnant. This is why I know I am in complete control of my actions I probably drank every day the first month of my pregnancy when I didn't know , the second month I stopped. I was terrified of having a sick baby. We are certainly overwhelmed with information that no amount of alcohol is safe for the baby which seems to not be true since most women drink the first month when it's supposed to have the most effect. My fourth month I was traveling in France and had the occasional half glass ( I'm being truthful ) never felt the temptation to have more. I am trying to harness this will power again and so far it's working. I look at my little boy who is perfect ( by my account at least ) and I am terrified that he might follow in the same footsteps. I do believe there might be something in the genes and coming from a family predisposed to drinking a lot and having of been exposed to alcohol so early in the womb I am absolutely terrified that he might suffer from this illness. I want him to grow up not seeing his parent drink everyday. I want him to be a person who doesn't think that alcohol can solve his problems and that alcohol is never something you want to mess with. When I first started drinking I didn't like it so much. If I had known the dangers and maybe had an adult in my life telling me their cautionary tales ( my parents didn't drink at all). Thank you all for helping me take this first step. I am harnessing that will power I know I have. If you really start thinking of everything you can lose .....

zanzibar

Hi Mafalda

In my opinion if this sense of responsibility is what works for you, then that's what you should hold on to.

ReadyAtLast

You just do it because it isn't just about you anymore. Whilst I wanted a drink when pregnant I wanted a healthy baby more. Imagine looking at your newborn which was ill/had FAS purely because you drank when pregnant. Of course ,when the baby is born many of us make up for lost time.............

Change4good

I didn't have a sip of alcohol when I learned I was pregnant. For some reason, it wasn't a problem. And I have often said I absolutely LOVED being pregnant both times. It was because I was sober I now believe.

I did drink while nursing, and pumped and dumped milk until the alcohol was out of my system. I am sure a bit slipped in the milk, and it worries me I might have predisposed my kids through this.

I don't know about the will power piece. I just knew there was something bigger than me going on, and so didn't touch it. Of course, the same is true now. My kids need me even more now that I have made them and brought them into the world.

Mafalda

And that's exactly my point. When you bring a child into this world it should still not be just about you. It has to be that way until they are at least adults. I always tell everyone that when you have a child you better prepare to take the good with the bad for the rest of your life. The sense of responsibility of being a parent will never go away for me. I know it didn't for my parents.

phoebe64

It is interesting. I also stopped without issue when I became pregnant. I also generally would not drink for the 2 weeks after I ovulated for the better part of 2 years of infertility.

With my first pregnancy, I had absolutely no taste for alcohol. Yuck. With my second, maybe a little, but it was no issue to not drink. But it did bug me that my husband drank. he drinks more than what I think is "normal" and through sober eyes, it is so boring and annoying, even though he is not a full blown drunk.

I feel that way now, 3+ weeks sober. I realize I was just as boring and gross when drinking. Most likely. Yuck.

Sobriety makes one much more capable to aid children in the night, handle a crisis, and go pick up teenagers at places. I am glad one of us will be sober for that. Friday and sat nights is when my dh has 6 or so beers. Seems so boring through sober eyes.

hamabi

It really needs to be looked into, as it's a true phenomenon that occurs regularly. People who could not stay sober are regularly relieved of their problem for the duration of the time needed to bear the child, and some little time after.

Only a guess but could it be that pregnancy triggers hormones which cast a rosy glow over life for the time needed, and that once gone the alcoholic again grates against reality and then returns to drinking for the relief they need?

phoebe64

Well, infants and children to bring more stress to our lives, in addition to all the joy and love. But sober people deal with that too.

My father was never a big drinker. My mother was the link to alcoholism. Much of it on her side of the family. His side of the family rarely drinks. Just very moderate. He enjoyed a beer or a few sometimes. But if he had a 3rd, he generally regretted it. It was very self-limiting. it was unpleasant for him to have even a little too much. Maybe it is that way for anyone without a drinking problem, or without alcoholism.

Maybe most people are that way. I pretty much felt that way while pregnant. Just really didn't care. But I would not say I was drinking alcoholically before the pregnancies. When does heavy social drinking, or simply, regular drinking cross the line? Different question, but maybe many of us are a bit younger or earlier in the progression when we are pregnant. Though I was 35 and 39.

ReadyAtLast

I totally agree but when you are pregnant its an immediate,physical thing you know if you drink you may physically cause irreparable damage to your baby.

Of course,a child and the responsibility is for life but its much easier to convince oneself that a couple of glasses when the baby is in bed isn't a problem,then it becomes more and more.

Pondlady

Great thread, I've often thought about this too. I didn't start drinking until I was 45 - but took to it like a duck to water!

I wonder if there is a physiological reason? I concur 100% that we need to be the best we can for our children. Drinking just dumbs us down and makes us less of everything.....including the most important job we have....being parents.

2granddaughters

Where do pregnant women get the willpower to quit ? Do you mean alcoholic pregnant women?


Praying to GOD for HIS grace and following a program of recovery for alcoholism is the answer for many.

All the best.

Bob R

Change4good

With all due respect Bob, I was an alcoholic when I became pregnant. I didn't follow a plan of recovery, didn't pray to GOD for HIS grace, yet didn't drink. I am not arguing with you. Just stating what my lived reality was.

Change4good

I replied too quickly, and perhaps my response came across more terse than intended. I guess I wasn't exactly sure how to interrupt your response Bob. I was offering a response as somewhat who is an alcoholic, and has been pregnant. You have only been one of the two, so just wanted to weigh in.

2granddaughters

Sorry, I thought the OP had a question .... I know my answer is the one that most of the alcoholic girls that I know apply.

No problem.

All the best.

Bob R

ru12

I think most pregnant women stop because they choose to stop. Drunkenness is a selfish behavioral issue, at least that is how I view it. Carrying a developing baby becomes more important than drinking alcohol. I find it perplexing that so many women can just stop drinking when they are pregnant, but can't keep their sobriety after the child is born. I think sobriety is a choice.

Mafalda

Well there are plenty of women who drink and do drugs during their pregnancy. I guess I'm just wondering about those of you who did not did you feel the same way now ( if you quit) that you did then. I'm trying to feel like that by convincing myself that my little one is still under my protection and will be for many years to come. This is giving me enormous motivation.

Anna

I didn't drink at all until my mid-forties when my children were in their teens. But, I had struggled with depression and anxiety since childhood, and my two pregnancies were the only time in my life that I felt completely at peace. It's a very fascinating phenomenon.