iceteaplease

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted in a long time but pop in from time to time for encouragement. It is great to see all the progress! I am enjoying sober Christmas preparations and hangover-free days.

I am feeling a bit frustrated. As I meet family and friends over this season, people seem obligated to take me aside to "check on my progress". I know they mean well, but I feel as though I were under a microscope. One of my houseguests noticed that I "was going out every morning" and wanted to know if I was o.k. I told them that I was actually going to AA meetings, which stopped that conversation quite quickly.

How do other people handle these types of questions, or are my loved ones just particularly nosy? I know they mean well...sigh.

Mulch

Since my family has found out about my alcohol problem, they have been checking up. It gets on my nerves, but I grin and bear it ... Part of me wants to say, "Thanks, but I've got it looked after. It's my business, so just leave it alone" ... But, of course, I won't say that. I know they mean well, and I am fortunate to have the support. I am hoping that over time it fizzles out as they see me sober and normal ... (whatever "normal" is - lol)

MIRecovery

People have known me as a drunk far longer than they have known me as someone in recovery. My family only wants the best for me so I just blow off the, "Oh, so how are you doing, is everything OK?" It does give me some guilty pleasure when I say something like, "That was one of my friends from AA on the phone." Then they do not ask too many more questions

FreeFall

I think that would bother me too, but not sure how I'd handle it. I guess by your actions they'll see that you're fine and stop asking eventually. I"m sure there's some wise ass answer you could give them but can't think of one right now

mecanix

I find it strange the concern people show now when one is working a recovery and getting better , rather than when i was a raging alcoholic getting worse .

Bestwishes, M

IndaMiricale

I saw your title and just had to stop by and read..

I pretty much ditto MI on this one. I feel the same way..

And I wanted to share that the saying about the pot and water actually goes--

I watched pot gets stirred and never boils over

The gets stirred and over has lost its part over the years. But I like the saying because , its like controlling the choas of emtions. Unstirred it could go crazy and boil over.

Daily spritiual maintance and prayer will stir and sooth all those " how are you" questionsl.

Have a wonderful sober Christmas and New Year

iceteaplease

I just find it a bit intrusive. After all, I don't pull Jane aside and say, "How is that obesity thing? Are you finding weight watchers helpful? I'm so worried about your heart and cholesterol!" I don't corner John and ask, "Are you still having that affair with your secretary? You know, I thought you would end it when you lost your family." Or, "Bob, I'm glad you are getting over your depression. You know, I don't understand why you were ever depressed anyway. You have always had so much to be grateful for."

I guess our disease is one on which everyone, suffering or not, seems to be an expert. Good thing I have internalized that "Live and let live" thing from AA.

I sense that I need to share about this FTF at my meeting tomorrow! Thanks for letting me vent, people.

MIRecovery

And John, how is that sexual disfunction going? Did the Viagra work or are you still as soft as fuzzy bunny?

DoubleBarrel

They are probably healthy people who realize that you can't talk to an active alcoholic when they are still drinking, but want to support you in your recovery.
Seems well adjusted to me. These people are gold.