SlasherFreak

But what did you do to make up for the downtime?

When I have **** to do, Im fine...but just sitting around is not good for me at all...how did you get through the idle time?

Startingover444

Well to start I just had to suck it up.
Cos we all worry about that
Dealing with the detox took a lot of my energy. Keeping my mind focussed on what I wanted. Reading about addiction, and also other peoples experiences helped loads. Plus offering support to other forum members
That was just in the early days tho. I promise you it does get sooooo much better
Try not to think too far ahead just now.

MythOfSisyphus

Do yourself a favor, Slasherfreak- bookmark this thread! Use the guilt and shame as motivation. When you think about drinking, remind yourself of the fist-in-the-gut visceral feelings of guilt and shame you feel right now.

wpainterw

Slasher: You may get by playing this game of hide and seek with your wife for a little longer but there is another adversary that you can't fool and who will get you in the end, and that's your body. No one's body will stand up to all this drinking in the long run. I once had a nurse tell me that she had watched people die of cancer and also die of liver disease and that, if she had to choose, she'd choose cancer any old day. Dying of liver disease is totally gruesome and painful, she said.
You can quit. Get yourself out of slavery. But you need help. Counseling is one possibility but it didn't work for me in the long run. You say that AA is too "religious" for you. There are agnostic AA groups and also agnostic or "secular" forums on this SR website. I'll bet that Atlanta, a large city, has some agnostic or secular groups which can help you. Why not make some calls (like the AA central office) today.
Why not choose freedom and self respect, happiness over the grubby life you have to live these days, and the certainty that, unless things change, you're in for a very painful death. You can win this. It's not easy, but you can win. Give it a try. Good luck. All the best to you!

W.

coraltint

SF, you sound beaten......sick & tired. It's not even fun anymore. And yet you still do it.

Everyone sitting in an AA room has been right there. They can help you. You don't have to live like that anymore. Make the call.