Alcohol was on my morning brain..,
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 186
Alcohol was on my morning brain..,
I was just thinking about how often when I way drinking I would wake up and think about when I could drink again. I mean how crazy is that, 700 am and I'm thinking should I buy wine or stick with beer or mix it up.
So much thought about this poison I have feed to myself for the last 18 years.
Imagining now all the other things I could have been thinking of.
Have a good day all!!
Check in later.
So much thought about this poison I have feed to myself for the last 18 years.
Imagining now all the other things I could have been thinking of.
Have a good day all!!
Check in later.
I never woke up thinking about it. But, I certainly could spend hours on end trying to figure out when and how to get it, and where I was going to hide the bottles, i.e. cover my tracks. It was so exhausting then, that I have boredom in sobriety however, it's a good problem to have.
This stuff is progressive. At the end I woke up at 6:00 AM, made coffee, let the dogs out, went to the garage and took a big swig of vodka to start my drinking day.
Of course in the beginning I did not start drinking at 6:00 but that is where my beast took me.
Get off this horrible roller coaster as soon as you can
Of course in the beginning I did not start drinking at 6:00 but that is where my beast took me.
Get off this horrible roller coaster as soon as you can
Once I was picking up pastries in the morning for a school coffee. I thought to myself I should buy a bottle of wine now, since I'll be so tired later. Left it in the hot car and the cork popped out, due to heat. Had to get the car detailed.....all because I was strategizing about my wine supply
Now, I'd just enjoy the pastries
Now, I'd just enjoy the pastries
I think every morning about drinking in the afternoon after work. But, I am trying now to see how screwed up that thinking is, and a normal person would not think that way. I try all day to think of other things. It is not easy, but I am trying.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 186
I know it's not easy to do. I guess if you decide your not having any, maybe can push the urge out of your mind.
But I also know that it's not normal to think about drinking all day. It's obsessive. And it shows me once again that I'm an alcoholic.
But I also know that it's not normal to think about drinking all day. It's obsessive. And it shows me once again that I'm an alcoholic.
One Easter morning on my way to work I saw a local drive up liquor outlet was open so I swung through and got my wine because I knew they would be closed when I was done. Could not deviate from my normal evening routine, ya know? So glad those days are behind me!!
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
I just realized that I don't think about drinking when I wake up anymore. Wow. When did that happen? Sometime in the past 6 weeks. I really don't think about getting alcohol first thing anymore. Thank you Mammy. You just helped me to recognize my progress. Thank you !!
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Staten Island, NY
Posts: 114
I too was starting to plan my drinking as soon as I opened my eyes in the morning....this disease was part of the reason my biological father died....I do not want that to be "why" for me....this is progressive and I am only beginning to see this now....I have 1 day sober....
I have said it many times, "Being a drunk is a lot of work and requires a lot of planning and project management skills."
Yes that is my fur child who passed a few years ago due to cancer. She survived eating two razor blades, half a tin can, numerous tennis balls, a 3 pound roast and God only knows what else but she could not beat cancer. We called her the Devil dog for a whole bunch of reasons none of them good but she was the coolest dog
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Barrie
Posts: 26
I usually wake up and the 1st thing i think about is whether i drank last night. The answer is usually yes. Then I tell myself that tonight is the night I am not going to drink, and feel really guilty. Then 5 pm rolls around and I actually find myself checking the clock to see if it's drinking time yet. Sigh.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: LA CA
Posts: 47
When I drank EVERY SINGLE EVENT in the day brought my mind to alcohol. Will it snow later, should I get alcohol now? Did I put enough beer in the fridge so it will be cold enough when i get home? If girlfriend is sick does that mean she will go to bed early so I can sneak more drinks? How exhausting. I hated myself because I could not stop. I just couldn't.
On December 5th I'll have 1 year of sobriety and I am so happy about that. i never have to feel that shame again.
On December 5th I'll have 1 year of sobriety and I am so happy about that. i never have to feel that shame again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 186
Yes that is my fur child who passed a few years ago due to cancer. She survived eating two razor blades, half a tin can, numerous tennis balls, a 3 pound roast and God only knows what else but she could not beat cancer. We called her the Devil dog for a whole bunch of reasons none of them good but she was the coolest dog
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