day 44 and on step 3 - dry drunk?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 4
day 44 and on step 3 - dry drunk?
hi all,
i'm on day 44 of sobriety and am having a rough time. i'm 27 years old, female, american, but living far from home. i've been away for a year and i'm getting ready to return home. i got sober while away and no one from my "regular" life knows that i'm sober or attending AA meetings regularly. i'm afraid to tell them.
on the surface, i appear successful. but my life is sort of a mess -- massive debt, unemployed, totally broke. though i'm happy to have stopped drinking after 10 years of abuse, the initial pink cloud is lifting and i'm starting to see my anger, frustration, procrastination, and self-centeredness for what they are. part of the problem is that, while i have a wonderful sponsor, she's unavailable at the moment.
i'm not so desperate that i want to drink or use right now. in fact, not drinking/using is the one thing that i'm proud of. but i'm feeling miserable, and i look like s***. does this happen to everyone? when do things start getting easier? please pray for me.
i'm on day 44 of sobriety and am having a rough time. i'm 27 years old, female, american, but living far from home. i've been away for a year and i'm getting ready to return home. i got sober while away and no one from my "regular" life knows that i'm sober or attending AA meetings regularly. i'm afraid to tell them.
on the surface, i appear successful. but my life is sort of a mess -- massive debt, unemployed, totally broke. though i'm happy to have stopped drinking after 10 years of abuse, the initial pink cloud is lifting and i'm starting to see my anger, frustration, procrastination, and self-centeredness for what they are. part of the problem is that, while i have a wonderful sponsor, she's unavailable at the moment.
i'm not so desperate that i want to drink or use right now. in fact, not drinking/using is the one thing that i'm proud of. but i'm feeling miserable, and i look like s***. does this happen to everyone? when do things start getting easier? please pray for me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
[QUOTE=kettina;3690817]the initial pink cloud is lifting and i'm starting to see my anger, frustration, procrastination, and self-centeredness for what they are. part of the problem is that, while i have a wonderful sponsor, she's unavailable at the moment.
QUOTE]
I suggest you get yourself a new sponsor real quick. That "pink cloud" does not have to go away if you keep the momentum up with your step work. 44 days is huge, but without action your spiritual malady is going to be on you full force.
You can even keep your current sponsor, but find someone to get you through the work sooner rather than later. A lot of people have received guidance with the steps from people other than their sponsor.
Best wishes to you!
QUOTE]
I suggest you get yourself a new sponsor real quick. That "pink cloud" does not have to go away if you keep the momentum up with your step work. 44 days is huge, but without action your spiritual malady is going to be on you full force.
You can even keep your current sponsor, but find someone to get you through the work sooner rather than later. A lot of people have received guidance with the steps from people other than their sponsor.
Best wishes to you!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
cool beans on 44. i heard about them pink clouds and was a lil po'ed at poeple who were on em early on. i was a miserable friggin wreck when i got into recovery; hated me and my life and coulndt see how people could be so happy that soon. then i was at a meeting where a person had come back. the pink cloud had burst, reality set in, and a drink was in hand. made me greatful for not getting on a pink cloud.
the fog didnt start lifting for a few months. then reality set in and thats when i had to start putting in the footwork of the program and trudge.
i highly suggest gettin into action of the program. when will things get easier? how bad do you want them to and what lengths are you willing to go to to make that happen? it takes T.I.M.E. ( Things I Must Earn)
prayers yer way.
the fog didnt start lifting for a few months. then reality set in and thats when i had to start putting in the footwork of the program and trudge.
i highly suggest gettin into action of the program. when will things get easier? how bad do you want them to and what lengths are you willing to go to to make that happen? it takes T.I.M.E. ( Things I Must Earn)
prayers yer way.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Step three is making a decision....That decision is whether you work the rest of the steps or not. I'd be putting pen to paper. Like bbthumper said...Have someone else guide you. Keep moving forward.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 4
thank you for your responses! i'm going to a meeting tonight and will see who can help. since i'll be traveling for the next week until i move back to the US, are there any resources you recommend -- worksheets, etc. -- that i can use?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
I would suggest you keep practicing the disciplines of 10, 11 and 12. Particularly carrying the message to others. What has to happen to all of us if we are to live happy, sober lives is to lose reliance on all things human, including our sponsor. 10, 11 and 12 will get you closer and closer to your Higher Power so, no matter where you are, you have a defense against alcohol.
God Bless!
God Bless!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
The way my sponsor has me work step 4 is to commit to a day for step 5 and I do step 4 in one night so that the next day when we work step 5, everything is fresh in my mind. One night of restless sleep. Sitting on step 4 is not productive to me. It could lead to a relapse for me.
There are many worksheets available for step 4, but the way it's laid out in the big book is clear, along with a sponsor's directions.
Whatever works for you, go for it!
There are many worksheets available for step 4, but the way it's laid out in the big book is clear, along with a sponsor's directions.
Whatever works for you, go for it!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Chicago Burbs, IL
Posts: 4
You are on Day 44! Congratulations! That's a long time to not pick up.
With that said, you are a month and a half into this and I would strongly suggest to take it easy. I was a miserable wreck when I first quit drinking and it took time for me to get my head together.
Yes Step 3 is a way to commit to the new lifestyle. Work on Step 4...get it done! There are worksheets online to help guide you. I used the Big Book but the online help was great too.
After you "work" step 3 for awhile you will see you will be less "dry"
Take Care,
Joy
With that said, you are a month and a half into this and I would strongly suggest to take it easy. I was a miserable wreck when I first quit drinking and it took time for me to get my head together.
Yes Step 3 is a way to commit to the new lifestyle. Work on Step 4...get it done! There are worksheets online to help guide you. I used the Big Book but the online help was great too.
After you "work" step 3 for awhile you will see you will be less "dry"
Take Care,
Joy
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
If you have access to get on XAspeakers.com...Look up Joe And Charlie. A couple old timers that go through each step. Give them a listen. They've both passed on sober....But still carry the message.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
Originally Posted by bbthumper 
I would suggest you keep practicing the disciplines of 10, 11 and 12. Particularly carrying the message to others. What has to happen to all of us if we are to live happy, sober lives is to lose reliance on all things human, including our sponsor. 10, 11 and 12 will get you closer and closer to your Higher Power so, no matter where you are, you have a defense against alcohol.
God Bless!
God Bless!
Focus on step 3 and 4 for now
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Kettina!
You are my day-mate - it's day 44 for me too)
I am not doing steps, and it's not easy time for me either. But still I can tell that it's getting better. We are re-adjusting to a new life, developing new habits and learning to live a new lifestyle. And for sure it is not easy. You quitted drinking - that's achievement, do not play it down. This is foundation to build your new life on. Just give yourself some more time, set some new goals to stick to, something to guide you when it's damn hard.
My best wishes to you. Take care.
You are my day-mate - it's day 44 for me too)
I am not doing steps, and it's not easy time for me either. But still I can tell that it's getting better. We are re-adjusting to a new life, developing new habits and learning to live a new lifestyle. And for sure it is not easy. You quitted drinking - that's achievement, do not play it down. This is foundation to build your new life on. Just give yourself some more time, set some new goals to stick to, something to guide you when it's damn hard.
My best wishes to you. Take care.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Welcome Kettina
I'm not in AA but early recovery was a bit of a rollercoaster for me...as my mind and body healed, and as I kept working on myself, I slowly settled down to an emotional equilibrium.
You'll sort out all the mess in time - it'll be ok
D
I'm not in AA but early recovery was a bit of a rollercoaster for me...as my mind and body healed, and as I kept working on myself, I slowly settled down to an emotional equilibrium.
You'll sort out all the mess in time - it'll be ok
D
shoutout to my day-mate Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Greenville pa
Posts: 27
I know you newcomers are what keep me coming back. I always tell newcomers you only have to be a newcomer once. When ever I go through the steps I read the 12 and 12 and write on a separate piece of paper all the things that really strike me in the reading. Then I re read the step a few times. I know I have to read something several times before I really comprehend it. Also you mite want to check out the grapevine online they have a digital version. I know when I get put on a different shift and can't make my regular meeting the grapevine really helps. I also like reading the stories in the back of the big book. 44 days that's huge! Any day a alcholic goes without a drink for a day it's a miriacle in my option. Best of luck Rember its a day at a time but I know for me I've had to break that down at times sometimes I could only go ten min with out a drink. Whenever you get home get a homegroup. At your first meeting introduce yourself and ask for phone numbers explain you situation. We are all here to help each other that's how it works. At least in my aera. Best of luck things will get better!!
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