I Lied Last Year, Is It Ever OK?
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I Lied Last Year, Is It Ever OK?
I went into the hospital for almost a week due to alcohol. I told my mom and family it was for other heath reasons. I just did not want to hurt her or them anymore. Now I carry a lot of guilt and shame I was not honest. Was I trying to protect them or me or both? I don't know how to make amends.
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Thats a little too rich for me to work out Fitz.
Generally I try to be honest...unless that being honest would needlessly hurt or wound someone else.
Only you know whether you lied for them or for you and what the proportions were, Fitz.
D
Generally I try to be honest...unless that being honest would needlessly hurt or wound someone else.
Only you know whether you lied for them or for you and what the proportions were, Fitz.
D
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I have done very similar things, Fitz. This past summer I demanded to go to the hospital for the second time in as many monthes as I knew I was in danger of bad DTs and possible seizures. The first time, I told everyone the whole darn truth that it was alcohol withdrawal. The second, I lied straight up to my parents AND the doctor about how much I had been drinking and when my last drink was. So you are not the only one.
When I was feeling really guilty once someone one asked me whom it would benefit if I came clean on some things, and whom it would hurt, especially since so much time had passed. That person suggested that perhaps the whole truth isnt necessary or good if the only motive it to make myself feel better by coming clean. I guess the point here is about the greater good, and weighing the good with the bad. We cannot change what we have done in the past. I have learned many ways to deal with guilt/trauma/hurt myself. One thing I do is write it ALL done....bawl my eyes out, make it hurt like hell, dont omit any details whatsoever, immerse myself in the writing and reliving of it, then burn ALL the pages I wrote. For me, that worked extremely well and while it was ever so painful to write, I felt immediete and lasting relief afterward. Another thing is to confess to someone (counsellor, trusted friend, this forum even is good for this!!!) what I feel bad about and exactly what I think Ive done wrong.
You are a grand person Fitz! Never forget it
When I was feeling really guilty once someone one asked me whom it would benefit if I came clean on some things, and whom it would hurt, especially since so much time had passed. That person suggested that perhaps the whole truth isnt necessary or good if the only motive it to make myself feel better by coming clean. I guess the point here is about the greater good, and weighing the good with the bad. We cannot change what we have done in the past. I have learned many ways to deal with guilt/trauma/hurt myself. One thing I do is write it ALL done....bawl my eyes out, make it hurt like hell, dont omit any details whatsoever, immerse myself in the writing and reliving of it, then burn ALL the pages I wrote. For me, that worked extremely well and while it was ever so painful to write, I felt immediete and lasting relief afterward. Another thing is to confess to someone (counsellor, trusted friend, this forum even is good for this!!!) what I feel bad about and exactly what I think Ive done wrong.
You are a grand person Fitz! Never forget it
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Originally Posted by MycoolFitz 
Oh what tangled webs we weave..
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Originally Posted by Dee74
Thats a little too rich for me to work out Fitz.
Generally I try to be honest...unless that being honest would needlessly hurt or wound someone else.
Only you know whether you lied for them or for you and what the proportions were, Fitz.
D
Generally I try to be honest...unless that being honest would needlessly hurt or wound someone else.
Only you know whether you lied for them or for you and what the proportions were, Fitz.
D
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
If my mom was 92, I also would have lied, my mom is 80, and I would probably still lie, I wouldn't want her to worry about me, since I would have been doing it to myself.
Making amends, just live your life the best that you can. Keep in touch with your mom, and just let her know how much you love her. I think that is probably all that she wants, to know that you are happy and "safe"
Making amends, just live your life the best that you can. Keep in touch with your mom, and just let her know how much you love her. I think that is probably all that she wants, to know that you are happy and "safe"
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Location: Massachusetts
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I'd tell them eventually but you don't have to do it right away. Why not build up some sobriety time so you can show them that you really mean to recover. They will be so happy and I'm sure they will understand.
W.
W.
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Ok, trying to think of your whole story here. You did have time in sobriety. What was the last thing that your mom remembers? sobriety or drunk? If drunk, then yes tell her, and tell how how great you are doing now. If the last she knew of you was sobriety, why have her worry again?
It really is a big difference when you are talking about someone 92 years old. At least, it is to me !!!!
It really is a big difference when you are talking about someone 92 years old. At least, it is to me !!!!
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Even if you lied for you and not her then, how do you think she would react now?
She is 92. Does she have any ailments that stress can bother?
This is JMHO, and mine only, but if she is feeling good about the relationship with you now, why jeopardize it. It may be giving her peace to know that you are OK.
This is a very "iffy" situation. Use your own best judgement on this
She is 92. Does she have any ailments that stress can bother?
This is JMHO, and mine only, but if she is feeling good about the relationship with you now, why jeopardize it. It may be giving her peace to know that you are OK.
This is a very "iffy" situation. Use your own best judgement on this
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