New here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 4
New here.
I am new to these forums and was hoping this would be a good place to start discussing or communicating with others. Not sure where to start really. I have been off pain killers for about 7 months ago after about a 8 year addiction.
It basically started as just a pill or two in the evenings to relax and spiraled into more than I would imagined. I have high anxiety and worry about everything and this helped me relax and forget about things. Helped me focus on things better and no be worried to go out. Basically in the end I was taking 20 pills a day ranging from Vics to Oxys. Really anything that was available I would take. Mixing with muscle relaxers and sedatives. I think the only reason I am clean is because I lost everything and after I moved a few states away my connections were lost. While I relapsed tons of times where I had orginally was addicted, after moving I relapsed once and was using for about a month before running out and have been clean since. Although the feelings of wanting to use again never go away.
My main worry now is the thought of using and how good I felt when I was using keeps running in the back of my mind. I am worried that I may developing an alcohol problem now. Simply because it seems I have found my new way to relax and get away from myself. And also that alcohol isn't a full time job trying to find connections as you can just go purchase it easily.
As I said I am not sure what to say I really just wanted to post something opening because I am hoping to be able to talk or get or give assistance here. I really have no one to talk to in my personal life about any of this. Was thinking going this route could be helpfull anyway.
Thanks, Sam
It basically started as just a pill or two in the evenings to relax and spiraled into more than I would imagined. I have high anxiety and worry about everything and this helped me relax and forget about things. Helped me focus on things better and no be worried to go out. Basically in the end I was taking 20 pills a day ranging from Vics to Oxys. Really anything that was available I would take. Mixing with muscle relaxers and sedatives. I think the only reason I am clean is because I lost everything and after I moved a few states away my connections were lost. While I relapsed tons of times where I had orginally was addicted, after moving I relapsed once and was using for about a month before running out and have been clean since. Although the feelings of wanting to use again never go away.
My main worry now is the thought of using and how good I felt when I was using keeps running in the back of my mind. I am worried that I may developing an alcohol problem now. Simply because it seems I have found my new way to relax and get away from myself. And also that alcohol isn't a full time job trying to find connections as you can just go purchase it easily.
As I said I am not sure what to say I really just wanted to post something opening because I am hoping to be able to talk or get or give assistance here. I really have no one to talk to in my personal life about any of this. Was thinking going this route could be helpfull anyway.
Thanks, Sam
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,618
Welcome! This is a lovely place and Ive found it to be a huge support for me. I feel it is literally the only place where I can be 100% honest which is important. There are many resources and different approaches to assist recovery and help you out which I found quite eye opening. Best of luck! Let us know how you make out. I have anxiety too and so I understand how it can really make alcohol or drugs seem very very seductive during moments of panic.
Congrats on the 7 monthes! That in itself is great
.
Congrats on the 7 monthes! That in itself is great
.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Welcome Sam
I know you'll find a lot of support here
I know nothing about pain pills but I'm sure others will be along soon.
You might also like to check out our substance abuse forum too:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
I know you'll find a lot of support here
I know nothing about pain pills but I'm sure others will be along soon.
You might also like to check out our substance abuse forum too:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Sam - welcome!
I used alcohol for a lot of the same reasons (anxiety, depression, to "turn my brain off"). In the end though, it made my anxiety and depression much worse (which led to more drinking, which made me feel worse, etc.). It will definitely backfire on you.
It's great that you found us - I know I couldn't have gotten sober on my own and this is a wonderful place to find inspiration and support!
I used alcohol for a lot of the same reasons (anxiety, depression, to "turn my brain off"). In the end though, it made my anxiety and depression much worse (which led to more drinking, which made me feel worse, etc.). It will definitely backfire on you.
It's great that you found us - I know I couldn't have gotten sober on my own and this is a wonderful place to find inspiration and support!
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