7 Days snd doing OK?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Miramar. Fl
Posts: 15
7 Days snd doing OK?
I'm 52, realized I've had a problem with alcohol since my late 20s. In my early 30s I tried AA for a while, bouncing in and out. Never bought into their "spiritual" program or the idea that I was powerless but I did make some good friends who helped me through a rough period in my life. I managed to get 18 months without drinking or using before I started again.
My life didn't fall apart then. I went back to school, earned my degrees, got a good job...all while drinking my ass off almost every night and smoking pot most everyday also.
For a while there I was really riding high (no pun intended). So what if 3 marriages fell apart? Never missed work, I was very productive, great evaluations.....
Over the last few years things have gone down hill . My tolerance has gone through the roof. I would be drinking at least 10 shots of vodka every night I could. I've isolated from my friends and my hands have begun to tremble... not good given my profession requires manual dexterity.
My wake up call was last Thurs. My 12 year old daughter woke me up tp take her to school and I was still zonked out of my mind. I later realized that not only had I drank more than my usual but had also downed enough percocet to make me worry about liver damage (due to the acetaminophen and my chronic heavy drinking)
I decided to stop and I did. Since then I've spent hours every day (currently on medical leave for unrelated reasons) searching the net for recovery options and support when I ran across this site.
Geez... I ramble....
Anyway thanks to all of you out there. I've read a lot of thing here than I can relate too and have gleaned at least a couple of tools that I can use to help keep me from drinking.
Peace and Love to all
Cykntyrd
My life didn't fall apart then. I went back to school, earned my degrees, got a good job...all while drinking my ass off almost every night and smoking pot most everyday also.
For a while there I was really riding high (no pun intended). So what if 3 marriages fell apart? Never missed work, I was very productive, great evaluations.....
Over the last few years things have gone down hill . My tolerance has gone through the roof. I would be drinking at least 10 shots of vodka every night I could. I've isolated from my friends and my hands have begun to tremble... not good given my profession requires manual dexterity.
My wake up call was last Thurs. My 12 year old daughter woke me up tp take her to school and I was still zonked out of my mind. I later realized that not only had I drank more than my usual but had also downed enough percocet to make me worry about liver damage (due to the acetaminophen and my chronic heavy drinking)
I decided to stop and I did. Since then I've spent hours every day (currently on medical leave for unrelated reasons) searching the net for recovery options and support when I ran across this site.
Geez... I ramble....
Anyway thanks to all of you out there. I've read a lot of thing here than I can relate too and have gleaned at least a couple of tools that I can use to help keep me from drinking.
Peace and Love to all
Cykntyrd
Trudger of Happy Destiny
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 1,918
Well, here is my official welcome to SR and thank you for the post!
As you might be realizing (took myself a long time as well) that DOING something proactive about the issues are important. They are not going to get better on their own. The only problems that will go away if you ignore them are you teeth!
Since you spoke about a spiritual experience, are you going to use any form of recovery program to accompany your sobriety? AA is a great place to start.
You've already proven you can get days put together without drinking. Now it is time to get the QUALITY of life you deserve.
As you might be realizing (took myself a long time as well) that DOING something proactive about the issues are important. They are not going to get better on their own. The only problems that will go away if you ignore them are you teeth!
Since you spoke about a spiritual experience, are you going to use any form of recovery program to accompany your sobriety? AA is a great place to start.
You've already proven you can get days put together without drinking. Now it is time to get the QUALITY of life you deserve.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Miramar. Fl
Posts: 15
Thank you Fernaceman for your welcome.
I agree: AA is a great place to start. While there I learned that I was not alone and that there could be life without alcohol or drugs. Made friends who helped me when I was at my lowest and for that I will always be grateful.
I do not believe a 12 step program is right for me. I'm an atheist. While I am powerless against almost everything in this world, I am not powerless over the decisions I make or the actions I take. I CHOSE to drink and use. Obviously not a smart choice but I can add it to all the other stupid choices I've made in life.
I CHOOSE not to drink or use now. If I pick up a drink it will be by CHOICE, albeit a very stupid one.
Having said that I probably will attend a few AA meetings. Not for the program but to meet fellow alcoholics who wish to share experiences and recover.
Peace and Love to all.
Cykntyrd
I agree: AA is a great place to start. While there I learned that I was not alone and that there could be life without alcohol or drugs. Made friends who helped me when I was at my lowest and for that I will always be grateful.
I do not believe a 12 step program is right for me. I'm an atheist. While I am powerless against almost everything in this world, I am not powerless over the decisions I make or the actions I take. I CHOSE to drink and use. Obviously not a smart choice but I can add it to all the other stupid choices I've made in life.
I CHOOSE not to drink or use now. If I pick up a drink it will be by CHOICE, albeit a very stupid one.
Having said that I probably will attend a few AA meetings. Not for the program but to meet fellow alcoholics who wish to share experiences and recover.
Peace and Love to all.
Cykntyrd
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Welcome Cykntyrd 
If you feel AA is not a good fit for you, there are a number of other approaches out there these days...SMART, Rational Recovery and LifeRing come to mind.
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
If you feel AA is not a good fit for you, there are a number of other approaches out there these days...SMART, Rational Recovery and LifeRing come to mind.
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Miramar. Fl
Posts: 15
Thanks Hypochondriac.
Did look into AVRT and did the online crash course within my first few days of abstinence. It's simple and most of it makes sense to me. However I'm not sure I agree with the author's position that no outside support is needed.
Peace and Love to All...
Did look into AVRT and did the online crash course within my first few days of abstinence. It's simple and most of it makes sense to me. However I'm not sure I agree with the author's position that no outside support is needed.
Peace and Love to All...
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Cykntyrd!
Good for you for getting sober! Your daughter is at the age where they start being exposed to drugs/alcohol and you're going to be a great role model for her now!
Glad you've joined us!
Good for you for getting sober! Your daughter is at the age where they start being exposed to drugs/alcohol and you're going to be a great role model for her now!
Glad you've joined us!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Miramar. Fl
Posts: 15
Artsoul, While she never saw me sloppy drunk, I hope she soon forgets that almost every night I kissed her goodnight there was alcohol on my breathe.
I hope she forgets that I would often take a drink in the car with me.
I hope she never noticed the strange smell coming from my bedroom as I'd get high with her in the house.
I hope I can be the father she deserves......
I hope she forgets that I would often take a drink in the car with me.
I hope she never noticed the strange smell coming from my bedroom as I'd get high with her in the house.
I hope I can be the father she deserves......
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