Does the obsession ever go away?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 26
Does the obsession ever go away?
Hi everybody, I'm new here. I'm also new (12 days) into recovery. I feel really good about my sobriety and am confident that this time it's for real, but one thing is bothering me... while I don't crave alcohol or think about it or anything, I feel annoyed by how obsessed I feel I am with NOT drinking.
Does it ever go away?
I used to smoke cigarettes and weed. I've popped pills. I've done other drugs here and there, but stopped. I don't go thinking about how I didn't smoke today. I don't have dreams about popping pills and wake up happy that I'm sober. I'm not counting days since I last popped an e pill or anything...
I know some people are years into sobriety, still counting days. It's so great to be sober and move past the point where I *have* to have a drink, but in some ways I feel like being so into *not drinking* is still a problem. I feel like in that fashion it still has a hold over me, and I just want it to go away. I want to be a non-drinker, but not think about how I'm a non-drinker, if that makes sense.
I want to think about how today was a great day and I enjoyed it. But not how I enjoyed it because I was sober. I don't know. I hope I'm making sense.
Does anybody have an answer? Does the obsession with NOT drinking ever go away?
Does it ever go away?
I used to smoke cigarettes and weed. I've popped pills. I've done other drugs here and there, but stopped. I don't go thinking about how I didn't smoke today. I don't have dreams about popping pills and wake up happy that I'm sober. I'm not counting days since I last popped an e pill or anything...
I know some people are years into sobriety, still counting days. It's so great to be sober and move past the point where I *have* to have a drink, but in some ways I feel like being so into *not drinking* is still a problem. I feel like in that fashion it still has a hold over me, and I just want it to go away. I want to be a non-drinker, but not think about how I'm a non-drinker, if that makes sense.
I want to think about how today was a great day and I enjoyed it. But not how I enjoyed it because I was sober. I don't know. I hope I'm making sense.
Does anybody have an answer? Does the obsession with NOT drinking ever go away?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 136
I don't have an answer but I feel the exact same way making a new attempt to quit. I used to smoke and do all kinds of crazy stuff when I was younger, but the drugs were more of a curiosity. I could snort coke again tomorrow and then never touch it again in my life, I wouldn't care, I'm just a curious person.
The drinking is what sort of accidentally turned into a habit, though, that is now very hard to break.
The drinking is what sort of accidentally turned into a habit, though, that is now very hard to break.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 590
Welcome ClassiFemme
For me the obsession went away I can't tell you went it did it just did. I think it was right about the time that I finally came to terms with the fact that I can't drink.
But it is a life long commitment as if I let my guard down my sobriety would be up for grabs, but I certainly don't think of drinking on a constant basis.
When I first stopped I told myself I would never drink again, and it didn't work. I was only succesful once I started to quit one day at a time, every morning I promise to myself I won't drink today. After 14 years now I still use this concept, and still say those same words to myself every morning. I never worry about tomorrow because when tommorow gets here it's today again. It makes it a whole lot easier.
For me the obsession went away I can't tell you went it did it just did. I think it was right about the time that I finally came to terms with the fact that I can't drink.
But it is a life long commitment as if I let my guard down my sobriety would be up for grabs, but I certainly don't think of drinking on a constant basis.
When I first stopped I told myself I would never drink again, and it didn't work. I was only succesful once I started to quit one day at a time, every morning I promise to myself I won't drink today. After 14 years now I still use this concept, and still say those same words to myself every morning. I never worry about tomorrow because when tommorow gets here it's today again. It makes it a whole lot easier.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi ClassiFemme 
The short good news is yes it goes away.
I'm sober nearly 6 years now, and it's rare for me to think *anything* about drinking unless I'm here, much less obsess about it.
It did take a while to get to that point tho
I don't know about you but I drank for 20 years - it took me months not days to get to a point where I was not thinking about alcohol, or not thinking about not drinking.
Abut 90 days I seem to remember was a great watershed for me in that respect, although things got a little easier week by week in those 90 days of course
It takes a little patience - and a little faith I think - but things do, and will, get better
D
The short good news is yes it goes away.
I'm sober nearly 6 years now, and it's rare for me to think *anything* about drinking unless I'm here, much less obsess about it.
It did take a while to get to that point tho
I don't know about you but I drank for 20 years - it took me months not days to get to a point where I was not thinking about alcohol, or not thinking about not drinking.
Abut 90 days I seem to remember was a great watershed for me in that respect, although things got a little easier week by week in those 90 days of course
It takes a little patience - and a little faith I think - but things do, and will, get better
D
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Yes it does. In my experience the " driven" thinking that is permanently on, tones down dramatically at 90 days or so. It nearly drove me crazy prior to that. I think it is biological and we take time to heal. At 6 months the fluctuating emotions, sleep and energy settles. The type of thinking you describe was present in me at some level for 12 months.
I am now nearly 18 months, and my mind is freer than it has ever been in my whole adult life.
I am now nearly 18 months, and my mind is freer than it has ever been in my whole adult life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Sittingbourne, Kent
Posts: 23
At 35 days sober the thought of using has gone. The thoughts of drinking still come and go but I am able to manage them and therefore no longer obsess and feel sorry for myself as I know I will take one drink andthen the drink will take me wherever it wants. Well done on 12 days...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 192
I am at day 15 and am right there with you . I have gone months without drinking in the past and always wound up right back at drinking again. This time I am doing things differently and trying to embrace sobriety, try AA etc. When I have thoughts like you describe in your post (and I have) it helps me to remember how much thought and time I had put INTO drinking. I always come to the conclusion that in a perfect world, sure, I would rather not think about drinking at all (and hope that day will come). But in the meantime I know enough to know I am much safer (physically and emotionally) working on and thinking about not drinking than I am when I was "working" on drinking.
Hope that makes sense.
. I have gone months without drinking in the past and always wound up right back at drinking again. This time I am doing things differently and trying to embrace sobriety, try AA etc. When I have thoughts like you describe in your post (and I have) it helps me to remember how much thought and time I had put INTO drinking. I always come to the conclusion that in a perfect world, sure, I would rather not think about drinking at all (and hope that day will come). But in the meantime I know enough to know I am much safer (physically and emotionally) working on and thinking about not drinking than I am when I was "working" on drinking.Hope that makes sense.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 128
Thank you for posting this question, the very same question that has been bothering me too! (I'm about a month sober). At this point I know what date I stopped drinking but I don't want to count days anymore.
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Yes. It does go away. And then you wonder why in the world you obsessed about it!
I drank for 30 years. Been sober for over 4. The last 4 have truly been a gift. I'm learning how to live....and loving it.
Hang in there. And, breathe!
I drank for 30 years. Been sober for over 4. The last 4 have truly been a gift. I'm learning how to live....and loving it.
Hang in there. And, breathe!
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
The obsession (I hate that term) is the result of being physically and mentally addicted to a substance that has been ingested regularly over a long period. In my case, it was daily over a period of decades. I arrived at the point where I no longer thought about having a drink when I accepted that I longer drink. Not now, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. I am free.
You are still finding your feet under you during those first few weeks and understanding that you have started a new way of life. The drinking days are gone. You will be free of alcohol when you know that you will never again drink. That choice is yours to make.
You are still finding your feet under you during those first few weeks and understanding that you have started a new way of life. The drinking days are gone. You will be free of alcohol when you know that you will never again drink. That choice is yours to make.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
The obsession went away for me. It helped me to get busy doing things that took up my time, thought and emotional energy. I had less time and reason to obsess about "used to be".
I totally understand wanting to be something other than a person who doesn't drink. Again, working on being something I DID want to be was the best remedy for me. The more I move towards what I want, the farther away I am from what I don't want.
There are times I wish I could have a drink, talk to my ex, or do a number of other things from my past, but those things are behind me. I give them a wistful moment and move on to maximize the experiences that ARE available to me.
I don't recall an exact time frame in which this happened. Like most issues in my recovery, it came in fits and spurts.
I don't count days, for me it was counterproductive and kept me mentally attached to active addiction. I DO work on recovery in some manner every day, but recovery for me, at this point, is more about moving towards what I want and building my life, rather than focusing on my addiction. But that too was a process and for awhile I HAD to focus on active addiction and moving away from it. It was very hard for me to be patient with the process and myself.
I got discouraged, thought I was failing, and worried that sobriety was going to be the ultimate buzz kill. But time and continued effort and honesty have paid off.
I totally understand wanting to be something other than a person who doesn't drink. Again, working on being something I DID want to be was the best remedy for me. The more I move towards what I want, the farther away I am from what I don't want.
There are times I wish I could have a drink, talk to my ex, or do a number of other things from my past, but those things are behind me. I give them a wistful moment and move on to maximize the experiences that ARE available to me.
I don't recall an exact time frame in which this happened. Like most issues in my recovery, it came in fits and spurts.
I don't count days, for me it was counterproductive and kept me mentally attached to active addiction. I DO work on recovery in some manner every day, but recovery for me, at this point, is more about moving towards what I want and building my life, rather than focusing on my addiction. But that too was a process and for awhile I HAD to focus on active addiction and moving away from it. It was very hard for me to be patient with the process and myself.
I got discouraged, thought I was failing, and worried that sobriety was going to be the ultimate buzz kill. But time and continued effort and honesty have paid off.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Yes, it can go away. Takes work, and time of course. I have no idea on my day count, I know my annual 'anniversary', I check in here to see if I can offer words of experience and support, but otherwise my life has absolutely no room for thoughts of my past with alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
Posts: 1,333
Congratulations on your 12 days! Yes it does go away. It just takes time. ( I used to hate hearing that but it's the truth). We didn't get to where we were overnight, so we don't recover overnight. You just have to not pick up that first drink.
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