Edabisco

Four beers in half an hour is a lot to drink! That in and of itself isn't "normal drinking." I totally sympathize with your situation, and I ask myself the same questions you are asking yourself all the time. The stigma of the word "alcoholic" keeps too many of us from trying to heal. But one test I've heard of what an "alcoholic" is, is if you answer "yes" to the question "Is your life better when you're not drinking all the time?" than you are an alcoholic. Life is far from perfect, but it's worth it not to feel shame over drinking, to be healthy, and not to wake up every other day with an awful hangover.

noquickfix41

[QUOTE=ru12;3644442

I didn't drink last night and I woke up without shame and regret. I had a very peaceful morning, drinking coffee, doing a bit of reading, and typing on here. To me that is enough and I am very grateful that I was able to make it here. [/QUOTE]

Wouldnt want it any other way!

renaldo

Lyricchi,

If you're having second thoughts about your drinking, it doesn't matter what you call it, it's not carefree fun anymore.

Lyricchi

Thanks everybody.

There's so much wisdom here.

I feel like my addictive voice is just so loud. I'm disgusted with myself. I drank a litre and a half of wine earlier today, alone, and smoked (I had quit smoking two years ago, right after getting sober). It's like.. I was so scared to drink for two years. Then I did. And every moment it's less scary than the moment before. I know this is wrong. I know it's wrong. I know if it weren't wrong, I wouldn't be alone, I wouldn't have lied to my friend Friday, I wouldn't be lying to my family right now, I wouldn't feel ashamed and guilty.

I don't know how to do it from here. I think of AA and it makes me sick thinking of taking my chip down, starting anew.

I'm such a child and coward.

I can't believe I'm here!!! I can't believe, after all I've been given in this world, I am here again!! I was so ******* cocky, I couldn't even picture myself drinking again.

I'm not looking for sympathy, believe me. I'm an *******. I'm so disgusted with myself. One moment I want so badly to make my family proud and to be healthy but at the exact same time, I want to be like my coworkers at the bar and just drink without a second thought. Why do I have to analyze what I do? Why don't they??

I know all the meetings occurring in my town tomorrow, but I'm scared that tmr will the be the same as today. Today, I thought 'well I already drank, I might as well make sure I'm ready to start over'.

sugarbear1

AA's answer is in working the steps, all 12 of them! That and a relationship with a higher power....

I wish you well!!

Love & hugs,

Tippingpoint

Well, now you know...for sure.