pooky

Day 5 .. was a pretty good week, went to some meetings, did well.Started getting really antsy this evening as it s the weekend and im usually hammered before dinner.
Went out to dinner at a really nice restaurant w my husband where about 80% of the tables had a bottle of wine and I wanted wine sooo bad. Ruined my dinner. Well I didnt drink but i might as well have been at a bar.
Am I supposed to hide in my house forever??

Dee74

no...but I think we can bite off a bit too much than we can chew sometimes Pooky.

I would not have been about to go out to a restaurant at day 5.
I really doubt I would have made it without drinking, so well done there.

I think learning to live sober is like any other skill - it takes time, and patience and we need to work up to things.

My old life revolved around drinking. I needed to put some distance between my old life and the guy I was and my my new life and the new me.

I didn't put myself in any situations where alcohol was around until I knew my commitment was solid and that nothing or noone could sway me.

That took a few months for me. I still think it was a great investment and I don't regret it.

I wasn't a hermit either - there's a ton of places to go and things to do where alcohol is not a factor.

Try not to beat yourself up - you came through ok...just maybe take it easy for a while?

D

Sapling

It's only day 5 pooky....This does take a little time...And work. I was very careful where I went my first 90 days....I also worked the 12 steps of AA in that time....That gave me the tools to deal with living alcohol free...You have to give time time....And you have to give yourself the best chance to succeed that you can.

pooky

As always,Dee you are the best! And Sapling you aint too shabby either!
I just want to be normal and I'm realizing I'm not and just feeling sorry for myself.Will try to get a sponsor soon and work on myself.After all i'm 54 going on14!!

Amy2011

When I got sober I realized I had to change things in my life and 1 thing I had to change was being around alcohol early on. Getting sober is hard work and old habits are hard to break. You may have to give up your social life for a few monthes until you feel more comfortable in your sobriety. I know my life is completely different and I am so thankful for that. I was still an emotional and physical wreck at 5 days. I spent a lot of nights at home the first few monthes of sobriety. Good luck.

lilgolden73

pooky, you didn't drink, so that was a good thing! I put myself in a similar situation and didn't drink either, going to try and steer clear of alcohol related situations for now!

Sapling

54 going on 14.....just like me...Getting a good sponsor was the key for me...Working on myself was the answer. Do you pray pooky?...If so pray for willingness. If you don't...I'll send you some myself.

ricmcc

and with a good sense of humour, no less That will very likely come in handy---best to you, Rick

freshstart57

Pooky, did you expect that seeing all that wine on the tables around you, and the conversation getting louder as the wine disappeared, that it would not try to get at you? That you would be bulletproof right from the start? That would be a tall order in anyone's books.
It sounds to me as though you did amazingly well, you were pretty bold about it too. I don't know how it could have turned out any better that what it did. I think you should be congratulating yourself on your success, because that is exactly what I am doing. Well done. And next time, put a plan together before you go. You aren't new around here so you know the drill.

Onward!

duane1

I think I was still hiding under my pillow at 5 days.
I remember making the mistake of going to a concert at 1 month. I felt like running for my life.
At near 5 months, I can't look at alcohol, but I can go to a restaurant and have a nice meal and generally ignore that alcohol is there.
It gets better.

DisplacedGRITS

i still avoid Mexican restaurants on weekends, pookie. too many people in groups drinking margaritas. heck, sometimes when i go to a restaurant, i place myself so that i've got my back facing as many tables as possible. it keeps me focused on my husband and not all the distractions at the other tables! i think you're doing great for Day 5! i know i was having a hard time leaving the house back then. you're not going to hide in your house forever. you're not even at a week yet. what you're going to do is emerge on your own time. don't feel like you have to push it. just come up with strategies to make the transition easier for you. sure, the waiters may think i'm strange that they have to look at my back when they come to my table but whatever. i know i'm not the oddest thing they have to deal with! do what is right for you and your sobriety right now. keep making forward progress and don't be so hard on yourself.

MalkavianEmily

Pooky, I was in a restaurant just over a week ago, and couldn't help noticing how the other people there were sitting looking at their beer, like they didn't want it. When one woman went out for a cigarette, leaving her pint on the table... [yes, I know you can't drink outside, but still... a full pint... unattended...]
Yes, it can be really frustrating at times, seeing other people drinking all around. And no, hiding away isn't really an option. It does get easier though, as time goes on. Mostly.

Pondlady

Pooky,
I spent my summer ( I quit drinking in June) wrapped in a happy protective cocoon. I fixed myself nice non alcoholic drinks and enjoyed activities I didn't do while drinking. I declined invites to wineries. I attended my first alcohol infused event last week end...almost four months later. I did just fine...but was surprised that people not only noticed I wasn't drinking....but asked me why? I decided to respond with the simple truth.

Overall, I felt good about the week end, but also realized I don't like those type of events much. I watched many nurse hang overs the next morning, only to start up again at the tail gate party. I was glad to get home.

Protect yourself and your new sobriety...it is worth it.

sugarbear1

Feeling that all I wanted was to be "normal" when it came to drinking was a life-long dream of mine....I had to smash that idea! Alcohol worked for me for a long time, but today I know that alcohol and I don't mix.

You are so "normal" in your thinking. Now, what are you going to do? Sobriety is an action....

I wish you well!!

Hugs,

Anna

As others have said, it takes time. Five days isn't enough time to feel balanced enough to go to a restaurant like that, in my opinion. I waited a few months before I jumped into situations like that, and even then, they few and far between.

The most important thing right now, is for you to take care of yourself.

Fandy

try a restaurant without a liquor license next time...bring a nice bottle of fancy water and enjoy dessert.