2nd little piece of recovery haha
Platinum Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Central California
Posts: 859
(((Kath))) 
I'm here to give you a hand and pull you back on the bus. You just hit a bump in the road and fell out, but just get up, brush yourself off, and climd back aboard.
And I'm with Janet; I dont think I'd stop those anti-depressants all of a sudden; you can have some really bad side effects if you do it that way.
I'm on anti-deppressants and I was advised by my doctor not to do that. As a matter of fact I saw my doctor yesterday, and she said I would probably have to take some type of medication for the rest of my life, because I'm bipolar and have a chemical imbalance. But she says, its no worse then some people having to take thyroid or diabetes medicine for the rest of their live. These type of anti-depressants arent addictive like codeine and other types of narcotics. They just replace the chemical that is missing, she called it seratonin, anyway it keeps you balanced and on track, thats what I need, (LOL) before I was bouncing off the wall, and there was no way I could stay sober being that way! This medication helps stablize my mood swings, and keeps me on track.
So anyway get back on the bus, we're all here rootin' for you, and Mikes driving today.
ha ha. Love you, Bonni ((big sisterly hugs)) 
I'm here to give you a hand and pull you back on the bus. You just hit a bump in the road and fell out, but just get up, brush yourself off, and climd back aboard.
And I'm with Janet; I dont think I'd stop those anti-depressants all of a sudden; you can have some really bad side effects if you do it that way.
I'm on anti-deppressants and I was advised by my doctor not to do that. As a matter of fact I saw my doctor yesterday, and she said I would probably have to take some type of medication for the rest of my life, because I'm bipolar and have a chemical imbalance. But she says, its no worse then some people having to take thyroid or diabetes medicine for the rest of their live. These type of anti-depressants arent addictive like codeine and other types of narcotics. They just replace the chemical that is missing, she called it seratonin, anyway it keeps you balanced and on track, thats what I need, (LOL) before I was bouncing off the wall, and there was no way I could stay sober being that way! This medication helps stablize my mood swings, and keeps me on track.
So anyway get back on the bus, we're all here rootin' for you, and Mikes driving today.
ha ha. Love you, Bonni ((big sisterly hugs)) 
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
hi matey
thanks for the message
shall get it together tomorrow. i know i can and i will, however what made me jump of the anti's was they didnt seem to take the "pain" away. the only thing that did was the valium, but i didnt want to keep doing that, and i saw in Dr's eyes last time i was there, he was reluctant about giving them to me. he was right, 50 tabs should last say at least a month, but i could have 4-5 in a day, no difference. he was right.
so i thought - ok, maybe go with nothing. yep have, as i said, been wobbly this week, but now most important to get off the anti deps cause they were not changing anything. i could have gone to dr in a screaming mess, but not sure what he would have done, i think he has twigged (caught onto) the valium thing. so i dont think he would have given me anything but a lecture haha. he is a cool dude.
i havent thought of being assessed for bi polar, maybe i should, have felt a bit feral, pacy the last few days, is that manic? i have no idea.
but just for tonight (as bad as that is) i feel back to normal, drinking, smoking etc
why is it that i function better doign all that.
tonight i have organised school clothes for tomorrow, lunch moneys, pick ups and drop offs of kids while i am in hospital and to get to work at 5am to do a special job for the "minister" before i go to hospital.
two sleeps ago when i was sober and not smoking, there is no way i could have organised that.
bonni what is that about - i know, when i am not smoking and drinking i just come home and at 7.30 i am in bed - if i am not here
hugs
kath
thanks for the message
shall get it together tomorrow. i know i can and i will, however what made me jump of the anti's was they didnt seem to take the "pain" away. the only thing that did was the valium, but i didnt want to keep doing that, and i saw in Dr's eyes last time i was there, he was reluctant about giving them to me. he was right, 50 tabs should last say at least a month, but i could have 4-5 in a day, no difference. he was right.
so i thought - ok, maybe go with nothing. yep have, as i said, been wobbly this week, but now most important to get off the anti deps cause they were not changing anything. i could have gone to dr in a screaming mess, but not sure what he would have done, i think he has twigged (caught onto) the valium thing. so i dont think he would have given me anything but a lecture haha. he is a cool dude.
i havent thought of being assessed for bi polar, maybe i should, have felt a bit feral, pacy the last few days, is that manic? i have no idea.
but just for tonight (as bad as that is) i feel back to normal, drinking, smoking etc
why is it that i function better doign all that.
tonight i have organised school clothes for tomorrow, lunch moneys, pick ups and drop offs of kids while i am in hospital and to get to work at 5am to do a special job for the "minister" before i go to hospital.
two sleeps ago when i was sober and not smoking, there is no way i could have organised that.
bonni what is that about - i know, when i am not smoking and drinking i just come home and at 7.30 i am in bed - if i am not here
hugs
kath
Platinum Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Central California
Posts: 859
(((Kath)))
For me I was trying to MEDICATE myself; to make myself feel better, by taking alcohol, and cigaretes, when I smoked them, until I found out I was Bipolar/Manic depressive. And there all kinds, and levels of bipolar disorder and depression. You may very well be bipolar, it might be a good idea to be evaluated. I know I couldnt figure out what was wrong with me, why I couldnt settle down, and stick to trying to cut out alcohol and some of my other bad habits, until my doctor diagnosed me with bipolar disorder/manic depression and put me on medication and sent me to a therapist. That was about a year and a half ago and up until then I felt like a person swimming in circles and not getting anywhere. :sink So why dont you talk with your doctor about these things, it may be that you need some different kind of medications. I know when I tried to medicate myself with alcohol it never helped me, it just made things worse.
So hang in there, and I hope you can get everything worked out with your doctor. I'm sending some prayers
your way. Love you, Bonni ((big hugs))
For me I was trying to MEDICATE myself; to make myself feel better, by taking alcohol, and cigaretes, when I smoked them, until I found out I was Bipolar/Manic depressive. And there all kinds, and levels of bipolar disorder and depression. You may very well be bipolar, it might be a good idea to be evaluated. I know I couldnt figure out what was wrong with me, why I couldnt settle down, and stick to trying to cut out alcohol and some of my other bad habits, until my doctor diagnosed me with bipolar disorder/manic depression and put me on medication and sent me to a therapist. That was about a year and a half ago and up until then I felt like a person swimming in circles and not getting anywhere. :sink So why dont you talk with your doctor about these things, it may be that you need some different kind of medications. I know when I tried to medicate myself with alcohol it never helped me, it just made things worse.
So hang in there, and I hope you can get everything worked out with your doctor. I'm sending some prayers
your way. Love you, Bonni ((big hugs))
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
you are such a wise woman, and here i am the social work professional haha swimming blindly haha
today i need to get thorugh tonight and then tomorow - 5 am start, then hospital then home in one piece.
that is all i can focus on
then i shall go and see dr sean about being a sad person
hugs to you
kath
today i need to get thorugh tonight and then tomorow - 5 am start, then hospital then home in one piece.
that is all i can focus on
then i shall go and see dr sean about being a sad person
hugs to you
kath
NOT EVEN 1 CLUB!!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: When I find myself, I'll let you know!
Posts: 1,835
Hugs Kath!
I too suffer from depression. I've taken meds for 3 years now. It does take a while to feel the effects of them. I didn't like the idea at first, but I know now that I need them. When we try to decrease the dose, I fall way down and don't do anything but cry and sleep.
I was superwoman when I was drinking. I could do anything. My husband always said that I only did the dishes when I was drinking! LOL I just felt so good I wanted to do a bunch of things. Now I'm also realizing that was one of my justifications to drink. I've done all these things, I deserve many drinks!
Well, I'm not drinking now and there is a pile of dishes over there. Maybe I'll do them, maybe not, we'll have to see!!
Love ya girl and hang in there!
Missy
I was superwoman when I was drinking. I could do anything. My husband always said that I only did the dishes when I was drinking! LOL I just felt so good I wanted to do a bunch of things. Now I'm also realizing that was one of my justifications to drink. I've done all these things, I deserve many drinks!
Well, I'm not drinking now and there is a pile of dishes over there. Maybe I'll do them, maybe not, we'll have to see!!
Love ya girl and hang in there!
Missy
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
hi missy,
loved the line "hubby said i only did the dishes if i was drinkning haha" - my ex hubby took a pic of me doing ironing once. i asked him why and he said "to show our children if we have any haha" we now have two children and of course are divorced - gee i wonder why haha
well it is 5.30, i will get into office at 6am - having my breakky and a coffee - feel a lot better this morning.
but ah i have remembered - blackout, bugger, even after only a couple of wines, guess there really is a problem here, not alcohol, my brain doesnt work, hey that is it, eureka haha (JOKING)
well back in the bus, after i get to work
hugs and missy, i'll do ironing if you do dishes haha
kath
loved the line "hubby said i only did the dishes if i was drinkning haha" - my ex hubby took a pic of me doing ironing once. i asked him why and he said "to show our children if we have any haha" we now have two children and of course are divorced - gee i wonder why haha
well it is 5.30, i will get into office at 6am - having my breakky and a coffee - feel a lot better this morning.
but ah i have remembered - blackout, bugger, even after only a couple of wines, guess there really is a problem here, not alcohol, my brain doesnt work, hey that is it, eureka haha (JOKING)
well back in the bus, after i get to work
hugs and missy, i'll do ironing if you do dishes haha
kath
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 763
Hi Kath,
Just got over to this thread; not a lot of extra time when you are drinking. I am glad to have your company though trying to catch that bus. I do wish we hadn't fallen off, though. And, goodness I am tired. In at work at 6 myself today trying to make up for what I haven't done all the rest of the week. that and I hate waking up at dawn and thinking about all the f**ked up stuff I did the day before.
Holding your hand here,
Gianna
Just got over to this thread; not a lot of extra time when you are drinking. I am glad to have your company though trying to catch that bus. I do wish we hadn't fallen off, though. And, goodness I am tired. In at work at 6 myself today trying to make up for what I haven't done all the rest of the week. that and I hate waking up at dawn and thinking about all the f**ked up stuff I did the day before.
Holding your hand here,
Gianna
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
Hi Kath,
Sorry to hear you're feeling down. I relate to what Bonni said. I suffered from depression for years that wasn't properly diagnosed or treated. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't get it together and stop drinking, or why I'd started in the first place. It took getting the depression treated first and then things fell into place. I hope you get through your day tomorrow and that you feel better. Maybe talking to the dr is a good idea. Whatever you do, I'm here to listen and I send you my best positive thoughts to get through tomorrow.
Love, Anna
Sorry to hear you're feeling down. I relate to what Bonni said. I suffered from depression for years that wasn't properly diagnosed or treated. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't get it together and stop drinking, or why I'd started in the first place. It took getting the depression treated first and then things fell into place. I hope you get through your day tomorrow and that you feel better. Maybe talking to the dr is a good idea. Whatever you do, I'm here to listen and I send you my best positive thoughts to get through tomorrow.
Love, Anna
Sweet Sounds of Heaven
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Point Blue, Louisiana
Posts: 1,144
Kath & Gianna, The bus has it's emergency brakes on and we are all giving you our hands to help you both get back on. My thoughts & prayers are with you both.
Love you Ladies.
Your Sister In Recovery
Janet aka True Blue
Love you Ladies.
Your Sister In Recovery
Janet aka True Blue
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 763
Hi Kath,
Did you make it through today? Mine is just starting (wish I were heading for the safety of bed having not had a drink today). Going to try to stay close to this place and friends in New York. I get to feeling lonely and that is what gets me in to that bar. Oh my goodness, I can't afford that again, in more ways than one. The last 8 or so days of tippling have cost me bundles. Soon as I have some sober moments I will put it all into Quicken and see how bad it was. Just when I was starting to get my act together...
True (great picture of you by the way) Thanks for putting the brakes on with the bus; I am not sure how far we ever get as we are always picking someone up, but maybe that's the kind of bus it is...
Love,
Gianna
Did you make it through today? Mine is just starting (wish I were heading for the safety of bed having not had a drink today). Going to try to stay close to this place and friends in New York. I get to feeling lonely and that is what gets me in to that bar. Oh my goodness, I can't afford that again, in more ways than one. The last 8 or so days of tippling have cost me bundles. Soon as I have some sober moments I will put it all into Quicken and see how bad it was. Just when I was starting to get my act together...
True (great picture of you by the way) Thanks for putting the brakes on with the bus; I am not sure how far we ever get as we are always picking someone up, but maybe that's the kind of bus it is...
Love,
Gianna
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
hig guys and gals
a quick hello, well sober again today, but feel like crap, cant tell if it hangove, flu or being in the MRI for 3 hours and coming out of anaesetic a couple of hours ago haha..
for some bizarre reason, my ears are blocked, so i htink it is the flu.
hugs to all - take care today - will write more tommorow when i have had a sleep, need to hit the sack..
hugs
kath
a quick hello, well sober again today, but feel like crap, cant tell if it hangove, flu or being in the MRI for 3 hours and coming out of anaesetic a couple of hours ago haha..
for some bizarre reason, my ears are blocked, so i htink it is the flu.
hugs to all - take care today - will write more tommorow when i have had a sleep, need to hit the sack..
hugs
kath
NOT EVEN 1 CLUB!!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: When I find myself, I'll let you know!
Posts: 1,835
Hugs Kath! Hope your test turns out ok! And yesterday, I didn't do the dishes! However, I did vacuum. Got tired of my 8 month old daughter looking like she had a beard from all the dog hair!!! 
Love ya,
Missy
Love ya,
Missy
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
morning guys and gals,
G that is ok, well i am up and attem for a little bit. everything aches, i htink we still have the flu, mr 10 is crook to, he slept for 14 hours haha and can hardly speak, which is not a bad thing haha
so am going to stay home with him today, it is really cold (ok its not snowing hahaha ) so i have turned the fire on and we are all snuggied down.
apart from flu and fat tongue, god knows what they stuck down my throat haha, i am fine.
talk soon, hugs and take care
kath
G that is ok, well i am up and attem for a little bit. everything aches, i htink we still have the flu, mr 10 is crook to, he slept for 14 hours haha and can hardly speak, which is not a bad thing haha
so am going to stay home with him today, it is really cold (ok its not snowing hahaha ) so i have turned the fire on and we are all snuggied down.
apart from flu and fat tongue, god knows what they stuck down my throat haha, i am fine.
talk soon, hugs and take care
kath
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