RedheadJen

I am having such a hard time today with not drinking. I mean, I know buying that bottle of vodka will ultimately end my marriage, but that doesn't always make it any easier I get so angry, depressed and anxious. I just keep reminding myself that my marriage and my kids are worth it. What I wouldn't give for a drink though.......

Ghostlight

Day four was always the toughest to me, too. Feeling better, looking better I had it under control.
Unfortunatley, I went through many, many day fours. Believe me, it isn't worth taking a drink over.

What works for me is to think that first drink through to the end and the ramifications it'll bring.
Sounds like your marrige is on the line. Is it really worth it to drink, and go through all the misery that comes with it?

I really hope you make it through the night. You can do it.

Best to you.

ForMyGirls

I'm in the exact same boat. My drinking has pretty much had zero effect on the rest of my life (doing very well career wise, socially, financially, no troubles with the law, etc.), but it has had a very NEGATIVE effect on my marriage....

I don't want to lose my wife as I still love her dearly. I really hope I haven't already driven her to far away. I definitely do not want to go to only being able to see my 3 girls a couple of days a week.... That would absolutely break my heart (and theirs)...

THEY'RE WHAT I WOULD NOT GIVE FOR A DRINK.

Maybe anything else, but not them...

BTW, I'm on day 4 too...

RedheadJen

I was just going to post that I was drinking approx. 8 oz. of vodka 6 out of the 7 days of the week, so this day 4 is really something for me You are so right Ghostlight, it TOTALLY wouldn't be worth it. I would end up in a shelter and possibly lose my kids. I have no family nearby and no friends. I can't drink, I CAN'T!!!! It still sucks though Having a poor me kind of day

Hevyn

Hi Jen. Try to remember that drink won't give you the relief you are seeking. It seems like an answer, but all it brings is misery and regret.

I agree that the 4th day is very rough - but if you get past this bad feeling things are going to look up at some point. We say it all the time, but it's true - every day will find you a little better than the last. One day you'll wake up with a feeling of hope and encouragement instead of despair. Keep talking to us - you can do this.

RedheadJen

You guys are awesome!! This is the encouragement I needed

DisplacedGRITS

Day 4 and 5 were roughest for me as well. I usually felt good enough to start drinking again and would get stuck in the cycle. Keep pushing and know that we're here rooting for you. Drinking is so terribly tempting but all it wants is to pull you back into a fresh cycle of hell. You can break that cycle. Push through and keep working hard. It's gonna be uncomfortable and strange for a while but it gets better and the best thing is that the longer your sober, the better it gets. Break that cycle and break into a new world free of cycles. You can!

RevivingOphelia

Must. Remember. This.

Black

On day four also and just clinging to these boards and of course it is Friday and that makes it worse. But I will not pick up that first class today ( with the help of god) and like alot of people my marriage and children depend on me not drinking. One day at a time and we can do it, we can, we can, we can.. We must kill that bloody monster in our heads.

Just been on the Rational Recovery site Redhead - visit and see if it helps in anyway.

RedheadJen

Thanks Black I'll check it out, I'm working on Day 5 today!!! I will NOT drink today!

quitforme79

Congrats on day 5 redhead! I find that keeping busy really helps with the cravings...and hitting AA and SR as well

emhow2

You should get out of the house! Maybe go for a little walk, drive up to a pet shop and look at kitties, if you have kids at home take them to a museum, window shop at the mall, call a friend and go out for lunch at a deli!

I have a husband and son myself...you seem to have been in more deep than me (although I did have my 'fun' times with a liter of vodka too....) but I'm day 4 too! You can do this. Tell that b*tch in your head to shut her dirty mouth

RedheadJen

lol emhow....I will do that!!! I find I actually have an appetite now! (instead of my "liquid" diets" and not eating food for days) I'll either gain weight from eating more or lose it from not drinking, not sure which , lol! And SR has been a huge help so far!!

Live2Run25

SR is my lifeline Jen.. 5 days is excellent. There will be some really tough days.. but if you are here, you are serious about stopping. To me, all the hard times in sobriety are better than one drink that will cause this cycle to start all over again. You can do this!!

lilgolden73

Day 4 here as well! Just say NO!

artsoul

It's normal to feel all kinds of emotions right now. I remember feeling great one minute and sad or anxious the next. Every time a feeling came up, of course, drinking was the immediate thought that followed. The mental part just takes a while to go away.

I just got through it any way I could, sometimes one minute at a time, hanging on by my fingernails! I spent a lot of time here, also let myself eat whatever I wanted (alcohol is filled with sugar, so when our blood sugar drops it can feel like a craving).

Congrats on getting past those first 4 days!

Lionhearted1

Well done on 4 days, it's hard in the beginning and believe it or not sometimes its not enough to stop even for your kids or wife not because you don't care but because it can feel like you have no choice but to drink.

But you really do have a choice that voice in your head is nothing more than a that, if you separate yourself from IT then you realise you don't actually have to go along with IT some of us call IT the beast. If you want to learn more about this way of overcoming addiction check ou the secular forums and rational recovery website!
Good luck.

Lionhearted1

Well done on 4 days, it's hard in the beginning and believe it or not sometimes its not enough to stop even for your kids or wife not because you don't care but because it can feel like you have no choice but to drink.

But you really do have a choice that voice in your head is nothing more than a that, if you separate yourself from IT then you realise you don't actually have to go along with IT some of us call IT the beast. If you want to learn more about this way of overcoming addiction check ou the secular forums and rational recovery website!
Good luck.