Looking forward to better days...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 162
Looking forward to better days...
Well, today is day one for me, and right about now is usually the time that I'm picking up my first 6 pack for the half hour ride home from the office(so my wife doesn't realize that I've already got six in me before I walk in the door)...
It has taken me a long time for me to finally admit that I've got a problem. I'm what most would call a "functioning alcoholic." Three beautiful daughters, great Wife, successful career (just became the youngest Partner with my CPA firm), etc. To everybody on the outside looking in I've got it made, but I've got this secret that no one knows about, except for my wife, and she has NO idea how bad it has REALLY gotten...
I'm not sure how much longer she'll be around if I don't make a change... I'm also not sure how much longer I'll be around if I don't make a change as I'm sure it has to be affecting my health....
If I don't drink at least 12 beers on any given night it was a "slow" night, and I can't remember the last time I went even just a couple of days in a row without drinking. On weekends when I get to start earlier (no work) it's usually around a case each day minimum... I also usually have a pint of Absolute stashed somewhere around the house to pull off of when my wife isn't looking.
Anyways.... It feels good sharing my story/secret, even if it is with a bunch of strangers. Actually, I think that makes it better/easier!
Here's to one day of sobriety, and hopefully many more to come!
It has taken me a long time for me to finally admit that I've got a problem. I'm what most would call a "functioning alcoholic." Three beautiful daughters, great Wife, successful career (just became the youngest Partner with my CPA firm), etc. To everybody on the outside looking in I've got it made, but I've got this secret that no one knows about, except for my wife, and she has NO idea how bad it has REALLY gotten...
I'm not sure how much longer she'll be around if I don't make a change... I'm also not sure how much longer I'll be around if I don't make a change as I'm sure it has to be affecting my health....
If I don't drink at least 12 beers on any given night it was a "slow" night, and I can't remember the last time I went even just a couple of days in a row without drinking. On weekends when I get to start earlier (no work) it's usually around a case each day minimum... I also usually have a pint of Absolute stashed somewhere around the house to pull off of when my wife isn't looking.
Anyways.... It feels good sharing my story/secret, even if it is with a bunch of strangers. Actually, I think that makes it better/easier!
Here's to one day of sobriety, and hopefully many more to come!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 1,225
Welcome to SR. You will find so many other people here that we're just where you are now and stopped drinking. They now live happy lives without alcohol
Functional alcoholic seems to be just a phase of alcoholism. I was just as high functioning. Until I started calling in sick with hangovers ( I had more stomach viruses than anyone in the history of my firm). I started missing obligations. Then is was a downward spiral.
I was never fired, never lost a home, never really lost much other than some relationships. But my soul was dying.
Keep posting here and read other posts. You can get off the elevator of alcoholism on a high floor. No need to travel to the bottom.
Functional alcoholic seems to be just a phase of alcoholism. I was just as high functioning. Until I started calling in sick with hangovers ( I had more stomach viruses than anyone in the history of my firm). I started missing obligations. Then is was a downward spiral.
I was never fired, never lost a home, never really lost much other than some relationships. But my soul was dying.
Keep posting here and read other posts. You can get off the elevator of alcoholism on a high floor. No need to travel to the bottom.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
I was a closet drinker too, and did my utmost to hide it from everyone in my life. That became more and more complicated as my drinking progressed.
We do understand how hard this is and I'm glad you decided to live a sober life.
We do understand how hard this is and I'm glad you decided to live a sober life.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome ForMyGirls -
I can relate to what you said, too. I got pretty good at hiding my consumption, too. I also figured if no one knew and everything looked fine from the outside, I was OK. I wasn't, of course. I spent a lot of time figuring out how much drinking I could get away with, my hangovers started getting really bad.... it just kept getting worse as the drinking became more and more important.
Glad you reached out today. It does take courage to change our lives and admit we have a problem, but it really is worth it. I love being sober today.
I can relate to what you said, too. I got pretty good at hiding my consumption, too. I also figured if no one knew and everything looked fine from the outside, I was OK. I wasn't, of course. I spent a lot of time figuring out how much drinking I could get away with, my hangovers started getting really bad.... it just kept getting worse as the drinking became more and more important.
Glad you reached out today. It does take courage to change our lives and admit we have a problem, but it really is worth it. I love being sober today.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Close to my story, and amounts until I retired early and started drinking in the mornings because I had to to stop the shakes. Welcome. What is your recovery plan? Gonna need one to help get back to functional sobriety. I did, and you can too. Good move coming here. It IS the exact place to start but you have to ask, post, read, and keep coming back.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
Welcome ForMyGirls - Congratulations on making this life changing decision. No one but your fellow alkies understands how hard it is. We are here for you and will help see you through. I felt so much better once I joined SR and was no longer alone.
I never wanted to admit I had a problem - that would mean quitting, and I couldn't imagine my life without my 'buffer'. So I wasted precious years trying to manage the amounts I drank, with disastrous results. Life wasn't easier with alcohol - it was much harder and more complicated. I'm so glad we're finally learning that - and getting ourselves free.
I never wanted to admit I had a problem - that would mean quitting, and I couldn't imagine my life without my 'buffer'. So I wasted precious years trying to manage the amounts I drank, with disastrous results. Life wasn't easier with alcohol - it was much harder and more complicated. I'm so glad we're finally learning that - and getting ourselves free.
Resident Awesome Guy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Castle Pines, CO
Posts: 747
ForMyGirls welcome to SR! We are very alike in the fact that from the outside looking in, we seem to have our stuff together. I can tell you from experience, it doesnt last. I too hid my drinking, until i started to not care if my wife thought i drank 10 or 20 beers. Eventually i realized my daughters thought he only drink that came in a can was beer. Thats when i knew it was time to hang it up. Le me know if you ever need to talk!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 162
Originally Posted by C23 
Eventually i realized my daughters thought he only drink that came in a can was beer. Thats when i knew it was time to hang it up. Le me know if you ever need to talk!
Yes, I've come to realize that I'm not "alone" with this anymore. That what I've been doing has an effect on those around me who I love dearly.
My mom was/is an alcoholic. In fact, everyone of my mom's five siblings are either alkies or recovering alkies. Grandpa was too. I remember resenting her for it growing up. I don't want that for/from my daughters....
The other night my eldest girl (8 years old) said to me while laughing at me, "Daddy, why do your eyes look so funny?" I remember the "look" she was talking about from seeing the same in my moms eyes growing up, and how it went from looking "funny" to really pizzing me off... It was the first time any of my daughters had called me out, and I want to make sure it is the last...
Anyways, as far as a "recovery plan" goes, I guess I don't really have one aside from not drinking! I know I might take some heat for this, but I don't really see myself going to any meetings.... That's just not me... I'll be spending alot more time on this website though. I've spent a few hours reading through stuff on it today alone...
Thanks again for all the kind words.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: denver CO
Posts: 72
Well this is my first day too. Your story sounds like you are my mini me. I have four kids. I really am pretty functional when im not passed out on the stairs or under the pool table...sometimes i really don't think they know til i am in a rampage or passed out. The bad part is my husband just tells me l have to learn when to stop like him. My oldest daughter is 18 and is my biggest support. My weakness is wine.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 162
Originally Posted by notsleeping
The bad part is my husband just tells me l have to learn when to stop like him.
Wouldn't you know it though, on the first night that I haven't had a beer in as long as I can remember (last night), her good friend from next door stopped by out of the blue to visit with a half bottle of wine and my wife had a glass with her... Go figure??? :rotfxko
I did not partake though.
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
ForMyGirls - I've never done anything but "Quit drinking" and it's worked for me for over 4 months. If you don't see it working, you won't be completely dedicated to it, and that's how I was. We all have our own path, and i'm doing just fine. Welcome!!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
I don't do meetings and have been sober for 2 years using here only for all but three months of that time. So meetings are not at all necessary. But having your Doc totally on board knowing the amounts and history, having face to face counselors, are just two of the things I did in addition to here. I did AA for my first three months and here and don't regret it one bit. It helped me with the crisis time after in hospital detox.
But you know we all are different. Regardless of the method, when we each get sober, when all is said and done, we all succeed only after we make the decision that we are stopping forever, no matter what that takes, and not just trying again and again.
The only reason I ask what recovery plan one has is that many relapse over and over regardless and don't add anything new. Read here a lot and post a lot as you progress. Because there are people here from all over the world there is usually someone up at night and here too. They may need another to talk to at that time too.
Hang in there and congrats on your decision!
But you know we all are different. Regardless of the method, when we each get sober, when all is said and done, we all succeed only after we make the decision that we are stopping forever, no matter what that takes, and not just trying again and again.
The only reason I ask what recovery plan one has is that many relapse over and over regardless and don't add anything new. Read here a lot and post a lot as you progress. Because there are people here from all over the world there is usually someone up at night and here too. They may need another to talk to at that time too.
Hang in there and congrats on your decision!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 24
Welcome ForMyGirls! I am on Day 2 and hanging in there. I'm still waiting for my family to realize I don't have a glass of wine in my hand. I think they are so used to it, they won't notice for a few days. Good luck with everything! I'm rooting for you 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Newark, England
Posts: 62
Welcome ForMyGirls
We have a similar story, once I opened up to the fact I had a problem people I spoke to were amazed and could not believe how I had been living behind closed doors, when I left the house I put on a big front, but at I home I was a mess isolated from my family in my shelter of glass bottle walls and a tin can roof.
Sharing the fact I had a problem, help me realise how bad it had got, each time I told someone about my drinking I admitted more to myself until I knew just how bad it was.
I took my last drink on the 29th March 2012, I can't say it's been an easy ride, but the more I share it the easier it becomes, it's like I'm sharing the load.
I only joined this forum last night, I wished I had found this site earlier, but I am glad I can come on here to share my experience over the last six months and share some of the things that have helped see me through.
Be strong, keep the faith and don't be affraid to admit you have a problem, then and only then can people help you.
UR>
Wayne
We have a similar story, once I opened up to the fact I had a problem people I spoke to were amazed and could not believe how I had been living behind closed doors, when I left the house I put on a big front, but at I home I was a mess isolated from my family in my shelter of glass bottle walls and a tin can roof.
Sharing the fact I had a problem, help me realise how bad it had got, each time I told someone about my drinking I admitted more to myself until I knew just how bad it was.
I took my last drink on the 29th March 2012, I can't say it's been an easy ride, but the more I share it the easier it becomes, it's like I'm sharing the load.
I only joined this forum last night, I wished I had found this site earlier, but I am glad I can come on here to share my experience over the last six months and share some of the things that have helped see me through.
Be strong, keep the faith and don't be affraid to admit you have a problem, then and only then can people help you.
UR>
Wayne
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,787
I'm picking up my first 6 pack for the half hour ride home
This jumped out at me. Were you driving and drinking on your way home? You know how bad that can be.
Welcome to SR! I hope we can give you the support you need to give it up for good. Life really is better sober.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,336
Welcome ForMyGirls,
I have two sisters....so was raised in a family of three girls. We all idolized my Dad. He was an alcoholic and gave it up in 1974 when I was a junior in high school. I wish he had given it up sooner, like you are doing for your girls.
Given the amount you've been drinking, you might feel restless, irritable etc. does your wife know you're not drinking? If she knows, it might make things easier on you. The first 3 - 7 days were the hardest for me. I changed up my routine and kept busy. I too read a lot on this site - a true God send!
Seeing your doctor is a good idea. You're making some important changes - keep posting!
I have two sisters....so was raised in a family of three girls. We all idolized my Dad. He was an alcoholic and gave it up in 1974 when I was a junior in high school. I wish he had given it up sooner, like you are doing for your girls.
Given the amount you've been drinking, you might feel restless, irritable etc. does your wife know you're not drinking? If she knows, it might make things easier on you. The first 3 - 7 days were the hardest for me. I changed up my routine and kept busy. I too read a lot on this site - a true God send!
Seeing your doctor is a good idea. You're making some important changes - keep posting!
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