Being sober: turn a weakness into strength
Argonaut
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 479
Being sober: turn a weakness into strength
The first couple of months when I quit alcohol, a part of me saw my alcoholism as a weakness.
Only a few months ago I acknowledged total and final defeat against alcohol (or being powerless over it, as AA calls it) and became aware that I had to quit forever. The scientific evidence was the final straw, reading about tolerance and kindling made me realize there would be no "normal" drinking ever. Every binge would be longer, every withdrawal heavier, no matter how long I would stay sober in between. Finally I knew that the rest of my life would be without alcohol.
Despite all that the decision felt like a loss. From my early youth I associated alcohol with fun. In my culture it was connected to birthdays, weddings and parties. Then people around me, my family, drank that strange stuff I wasn't allowed to yet and behaved funny, silly. They sang, danced or told stories, one crazier than the other. Some behaved even stranger, fell over or got angry, but then my mother said that they drank too much. In the morning it was always different, they looked tired and sad, but my childish mind still remembered the fun from the night before.
Skip forward to the adult life. The message of fun is still around us, in movies, songs and books. The fact that on average 1 in 12 drinkers becomes an alcoholic is never heard, it's a like secret you have to discover.
And then it kicks in, I will be the odd one, the naysayer for the rest of my life, just like my "strange" aunt that never drank. But how strange was she? Others called her that, as sometimes she was sad on weddings when everyone was happy. Sometimes she didn't dance on birthdays or parties. But I could always talk to her, also the next day, when everyone was sad, she was often happy.
So when you give up on alcohol, you are not losing anything, you are winning a lot. But it takes time to discover what exactly the win is.
You will change as a person and become stronger, physically and mentally. You will discover different ways of having fun, perhaps even totally changing the definition of fun you had earlier. You will probably have more time and money to explore new things or take care of your family. You will meet new interesting people and lose some old "friends".
And one day you will discover that you have turned something you perceived as a weakness into a strength.
Good luck all!
Only a few months ago I acknowledged total and final defeat against alcohol (or being powerless over it, as AA calls it) and became aware that I had to quit forever. The scientific evidence was the final straw, reading about tolerance and kindling made me realize there would be no "normal" drinking ever. Every binge would be longer, every withdrawal heavier, no matter how long I would stay sober in between. Finally I knew that the rest of my life would be without alcohol.
Despite all that the decision felt like a loss. From my early youth I associated alcohol with fun. In my culture it was connected to birthdays, weddings and parties. Then people around me, my family, drank that strange stuff I wasn't allowed to yet and behaved funny, silly. They sang, danced or told stories, one crazier than the other. Some behaved even stranger, fell over or got angry, but then my mother said that they drank too much. In the morning it was always different, they looked tired and sad, but my childish mind still remembered the fun from the night before.
Skip forward to the adult life. The message of fun is still around us, in movies, songs and books. The fact that on average 1 in 12 drinkers becomes an alcoholic is never heard, it's a like secret you have to discover.
And then it kicks in, I will be the odd one, the naysayer for the rest of my life, just like my "strange" aunt that never drank. But how strange was she? Others called her that, as sometimes she was sad on weddings when everyone was happy. Sometimes she didn't dance on birthdays or parties. But I could always talk to her, also the next day, when everyone was sad, she was often happy.
So when you give up on alcohol, you are not losing anything, you are winning a lot. But it takes time to discover what exactly the win is.
You will change as a person and become stronger, physically and mentally. You will discover different ways of having fun, perhaps even totally changing the definition of fun you had earlier. You will probably have more time and money to explore new things or take care of your family. You will meet new interesting people and lose some old "friends".
And one day you will discover that you have turned something you perceived as a weakness into a strength.
Good luck all!
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