Huntsville AL
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Scottsboro, AL.
Posts: 81
Huntsville AL
I am going to my first meeting in Huntsville tonight (The Huntsville Group)
I gave attended a few meeting at a coupl of different groups in the past. This is day 1 (again) for me and I have a temparary Sponser for the first time!
My problem the last go around was that I could not get past step one. I thought I was in controle so I started drinking again.... It didn't take long for the proof that I am powerless and my life was unmanageable with alcohol.
Today is day one! I am so depressed right now but I need to feel this pain and never foreget it.
God bless the efforts of everyone of us......
I gave attended a few meeting at a coupl of different groups in the past. This is day 1 (again) for me and I have a temparary Sponser for the first time!
My problem the last go around was that I could not get past step one. I thought I was in controle so I started drinking again.... It didn't take long for the proof that I am powerless and my life was unmanageable with alcohol.
Today is day one! I am so depressed right now but I need to feel this pain and never foreget it.
God bless the efforts of everyone of us......
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Scottsboro, AL.
Posts: 81
The meeting went great! Thanks for asking. I needed that meeting so much that I actually went to two of them.
I am dealing with a lot of depression and nervousness right now but that is part of it. I am one of those drinkers that change my outlook on life and moral values as I get drunk. Amazing how much different I am when sober. It is amazing what a jerk I am when drinking. I do not get violent but I don't care about anything or anyone other than me and my beer. I hate that other person and I hope I never see him again.
I am dealing with a lot of depression and nervousness right now but that is part of it. I am one of those drinkers that change my outlook on life and moral values as I get drunk. Amazing how much different I am when sober. It is amazing what a jerk I am when drinking. I do not get violent but I don't care about anything or anyone other than me and my beer. I hate that other person and I hope I never see him again.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
I like the phrase "beaten into a state of reasonableness."
We keep going back to it (alcohol), it has it's way with us....we take the drink, the drink takes us...
The doctor's opinion explains what a friend of mine from AA called the cycle of addiction. I don't know if this is an AA term or not.
The spree, the emerging remorseful, the declaration to never, ever do it again, then we repeat the cycle.
We keep thinking it will be different. If we can only figure out how to drink without overshooting the mark. Drinking without problems. But that is not what happens.
We have our intention, what really happened, and whom did harm...ourselves, others...
If you are like me...we may be able to control it for a short while, but sooner or later, we are drinking too much again.
It's like groundhog day, over and over again.
So, we get to learn a new way of living.
Don't feel badly.
It's our own drinking experience...that convinces us we are indeed alcoholic.
Our ego fights it.
Surrender to your truth.
Some people never get the opportunity to recover. We are shown the light, and say, no thank you. I got it...I know, I know...I know what is best...I don't have to do what others do to recover.
We create our own way, our own version of AA, or recovery.
Someone said to me, the whole basis of the 12 steps, is that I don't know. I have to admit I am out of ideas, and try the new way.
I get to judge the results as Sandy B. would say. (AA speaker)
Do it the AA way, and compare it to your way.
I apply this to myself, and I am the queen of trying it my way.
It has taken me a very long time to concede.
And if or when you get that idea to drink again...give yourself some time...go to a quiet place and lay down, close your eyes, and rest, pray, nap, let it pass over you.
We keep going back to it (alcohol), it has it's way with us....we take the drink, the drink takes us...
The doctor's opinion explains what a friend of mine from AA called the cycle of addiction. I don't know if this is an AA term or not.
The spree, the emerging remorseful, the declaration to never, ever do it again, then we repeat the cycle.
We keep thinking it will be different. If we can only figure out how to drink without overshooting the mark. Drinking without problems. But that is not what happens.
We have our intention, what really happened, and whom did harm...ourselves, others...
If you are like me...we may be able to control it for a short while, but sooner or later, we are drinking too much again.
It's like groundhog day, over and over again.
So, we get to learn a new way of living.
Don't feel badly.
It's our own drinking experience...that convinces us we are indeed alcoholic.
Our ego fights it.
Surrender to your truth.
Some people never get the opportunity to recover. We are shown the light, and say, no thank you. I got it...I know, I know...I know what is best...I don't have to do what others do to recover.
We create our own way, our own version of AA, or recovery.
Someone said to me, the whole basis of the 12 steps, is that I don't know. I have to admit I am out of ideas, and try the new way.
I get to judge the results as Sandy B. would say. (AA speaker)
Do it the AA way, and compare it to your way.
I apply this to myself, and I am the queen of trying it my way.
It has taken me a very long time to concede.
And if or when you get that idea to drink again...give yourself some time...go to a quiet place and lay down, close your eyes, and rest, pray, nap, let it pass over you.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
We keep thinking it will be different. If we can only figure out how to drink without overshooting the mark. Drinking without problems. But that is not what happens.
Glad you stepped up your commitment, LyingDog....
Most of us learned the hard way.... the trick is not to have to learn it over and over and over and over....... Glad your meeting went well!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Lyingdog 
It is amazing what a jerk I am when drinking. I do not get violent but I don't care about anything or anyone other than me and my beer. I hate that other person and I hope I never see him again.
Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!
bb pg 62
Glad the meetings went well.
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