thislonelygirl

im new to sober recovery and thought i would just start with the newcomers section. i hope i got this right. ok so i have an Ah and two children one his and another from a previous relationship. my oldest is currently and temporarily with his fathers side because we aren't in a good place and he needs to focus on school. my youngest is 2 and is with me and my ah. my ah has been an addict before we got together ...now i feel dumb for not fully understanding the depth of addiction. he had been on off sober. when he is sober he isn't perfect no such thing but he's a good husband and company. he acts correctly and is dependable emotionally. when he drinks he is irrational ,cruel and depressing. its like he drinks and instead of puking from being drunk disgusting and unattractive comments pour out his mouth. i am now at the end of my rope and have left many times just to come back to broken promises. i am tired i am depressed. i am hurt. angry. lonely. it goes on and i don't think he understands the severity of my pain . he won't really make the effort and i will leave. he doesn't want to go to Aa because its a bunch of grown men crying etc sad bs he says when he.is drunk.i think to myself he does that drunk so what's the big deal? he points at me for my imperfections for what i do or don't do as why he has a right to drink. he thinks everyone is trying to bully and control him. he hates everyone and everything. he yells. has broken things and analyzes everything about me. example when he is drunk if i watch a show i like even just the news if he doesn't like it he basically says im sick for watching it and just like the drama. im up to my neck in fed up . when he's sober and not craving alcohol he isis loving and logical and easier to deal with.
the craziness of his drunken stupidity goes as far as accusing me of cheating. imaginary evidence and putting words in my mouth and thoughts in my head example he'll Say i said i can't handle my 2 year old and can't control her. what i actually said was our 2 year old is all over the place and its tiring. he'll say i think he's stupid actuality i think the alcohol is stupid. if it isn't what i say that he twists its the way i think .
i found out in a big family moment when he got drunk and was rude to my mother that he had been telling his mother that i don't do this or that. that im the reason he drinks. i drink front of him. that im all about me and cry to get my way. she actually believed him knowing he is an addict and turned on me all of which he said 100% not true.
im just at the end and want the man i know he is.


does anybody have stories of recovery?seeking help?and what's the worst thing they did while drinking?

SoberForMySon

The worst I did has ruined me... But enough of that. Welcome to recovery!!!!

Anna

Welcome!

I hope you find some peace in your life. Have you considered AlAnon as a support for you?

Lionhearted1

The worse thing I did was not getting into recovery sooner.

_______________________

I knew I had a problem with alcohol when it started costing more than money.

Lyingdog

My wife needed to get my attention so she told me that she wanted a devorce. It was not a threat! She really wanted one. We seperated. Thankfully she agreed to see a councler. Dr Rager Rinn in Huntsville, AL is the best.
I conversed myself and my wife that I was not an alcohaulic. So after years of sobriety I started drinking again. It only took me a few short months to prove myself wrong. Long story short.... I have lied so many times to her that I do not know what the future holds for us. She wants away from me right now and I don't blame her. I do not get Agressive when I drink I just don't know how to stop. I lie about how many I have had and I sneek out of the house to drink more. That is not who I am when I am sober. I wake up the next morning in disbelief of what I did. I make myself believe it will not ever happen again... But it does. I am on day one of sobriety. I hope and pray that I never drink again. MISobriety dropped this quote in my thread (am I the only one...) "The alcoholic views themselves through the eyes of their intentions while the world views the alcoholic through the eyes of their actions"
That is so very true. If you can make him believe that I think it may be the start of him seeing what you go through. I hope so! Prayers sent....

Dee74

Hi and welcome thislonelygirl
You'll find a ton of support here, and lots of advice too.

Have you also checked out our Family and Friends forums - you'll find support down there as well

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

glad you've joined us

D

thislonelygirl

thanks everyone. i pray everyday hell recover. he seems so genuine sober but i dont know if he truly sees the light at the end. i hope everyday he will. i needed to hear yalls stories sometimes ibfeel so alone in ut and yes alanon has come to mind .

thislonelygirl

the crazy things he says example i drink with him not trye i dont drink at all.
period. havent in a long long long time. the crying to get my way not true ive cried because of the things he has said. i dont know if its 100% the alcohol or maybe he will need to see a therapist because of his home life growing up. i do know that hes much more reasonable sober and ive told him i am and will ne supportive to his recovery and that if he needs to talk to someone seek proffesional help he can do that to get better but drinking isnt going to fix wjats bithering him.
it just seems like im on a repeat cycle and waiting for the wheel to stop. its just depressing.

choublak

Nobody can "make" anybody else believe anything though. People will believe what they want to believe.