wanttolive39

Hi,

I am a married 39 year old I feel as if I am slowly killing myself with alcohol i binge drink on a weekend till i am paralytic. In the house or out in the pubs.
My wife is also getting dragged into these sessions and I just don't want it anymore i am worried about our health and our livers. I get to the weekend and need that release and know its not right but it always happens. It is so hard as you slowly feel better towards the weekend and then think it wont hurt and say i will only have a few on Friday night, but never does its then saturday and the weekend ends up a blur.

I am a functioning alcoholic and i need to admit it and not live in denial and realize the damage it is doing.

Thanks for any advice and support...

hypochondriac

One thing I have noticed from giving up alcohol is that I don't need that release when the weekend comes round... the weekend is the release, not being in work... I actually used to like it when the working week came around because it meant I could stop drinking!

Giving up the idea of having a few might be a good place to start. There are lots of support groups out there to help you stay sober but maybe the best place to start would be talking to your doctor. Have you spoken to your wife about your concerns?

MightyMung

Find what works for you, make a plan, and stick with it.

There's loads of resources on this forum, and many recovery programs to choose from. The fact you've posted here is an excellent start!

Have a poke around the forums and get a gist of what you can do to strive towards sobriety. You can do it!

Soberween

You sound like me about two years ago. I use to google "liver damage due to alcohol" all the time. I've been sober well over a year and I do not have any of these thoughts at all any more. You've made a great first step in the right direction by joining this website.

elihoping

I got that too - the absolute relief of going back to work and focusing on anything other than getting drunk.

Dee74

Hi wanttolive

I'm glad you're realising you have a problem and you need to do something about it - it's a key step in recovery I think

I had to make a lot of changes in my life - but I'm glad I did

You'll find a lot of support here - welcome!
D

Sapling

Maybe you and your wife can check out an AA meeting...It's worked for millions and it's been around a long time.....I didn't want to die either....It worked for me. Here is a good site what it's about if you're interested.

Your First AA Meeting<

IndaMiricale

I was a functioning alcoholic also for about 15 years till that day somewhere I dont know it turned and for the next decade I wasnt. I went from living to drink to seriously drinking to live. I became unable to hold jobs, lost everything.

Its a progressive diease its great you see something now.

I am a proud member of AA you can give it a visit.

Taking5

Welcome, lot of good support here. I can't add a lot but I too was a functional alcoholic - until I wasn't so functional - and finally I was a dysfunctional alcoholic.

I learned later that "functional" is not a type of alcoholism, it is a stage of alcoholism.

Food for thought.

Soberween

This is great, Taking5. Thanks.

mm222

I always "needed" the release, too (probably most of us felt this way, I'm guessing), and I worried so much about how deprived and stressed I'd feel if I gave it up-like I knew I needed to. Now, honest to God, I don't even think about it much. Not that it's always easy-but the obsession definitely lifted. And wonder of wonders I actually CAN relax now that I can sleep WELL and I'm not always worrying about booze, how, when, how much can I get away with etc etc ad nauseum.

Good luck.

Hevyn

Hi Wanttolive. It sounds like drinking is only bringing you misery and despair. I always tried to find the old high and happy feeling I used to get - but it was long gone. I spent years chasing it. I'm glad you won't let that happen.

Please keep reading and posting. We're so glad to have you join the family. This place saved my life.

nvpeale

The formula for change: Thought, feeling, action = change

Think about what you want, let yourself feel the desire to change, take steps toward that goal = change

and go to as many meetings as you can

wanttolive39

Thanks all(2 days sob), I am going to avoid putting myself in situations where I get uncomfortable like a pub full of people drinking around me and also not feel the need to bob in the shop on way home on a friday for a few chilling beers. Its not needed in my life and know i can do it, i stopped for 6 weeks last year and it felt great until an occasion came up in family and just had a few drinks thats all i had but the day after I wanted more and did and then i was back in the flow of drinking. Justifying every drink in my head.

Nice to awaken with a clear head and ready for the day.

Thanks all

Hevyn

Yes it is! Let's keep that good feeling going. Proud of you.