Not taking that sip when grieving?

Old 09-13-2012, 09:31 AM
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Klia's Avatar
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Location: Kentucky
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Not taking that sip when grieving?

So I'm not actively trying to quit drinking, but yesterday I didn't drink for some reason, even though it was there. So today I said, "why not just roll with it and see what happens?" Well, I'm going through an extreme amount of sorrow over parting ways with my fiance. He just moved out last weekend and it's so hard to come home to the emptpy places where his things used to be. When I take a shower, just not seeing his soaps and shampoos in the tub makes my heart shudder. His tea kettle is gone from the stove top. His shoes aren't all over the floor, it's a tragedy, really. Anyway, tonight my daughter will be with her father (never mentioned before on here, but I have a daughter fiance is not the father) and I will be home alone with nothing. Literally, I don't have t.v. or internet at home and I just won't know what to do. I suppose I could take a walk, but my hearts so heavy I'm not so sure I can carry it. Make sense? I guess I want someone to magically take the pain away, although I know it doesn't work this way. I guess, maybe I am actively trying, or more so trying not to rely on the drink so I don't have to feel feelings. I'm afraid I just might grab for that bottle tonight.
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Old 09-13-2012, 09:34 AM
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Hey new friend! You're not alone. Keep posting. You can do it. Wine won't help. Why don't you tell us a story? I have a son, age three. He is inspiration. I bet your girl is too. And you know, I know you can do this. You came here, after all. Hang tough, and try our September thread. We happen to rule!
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Old 09-13-2012, 09:39 AM
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Know how you feel. You want to drink but know you really should'nt. I cant give any advice because I'm in a similar place to you right now. The only thing I can suggest is doing something, anything that will get you out of the house.. Maybe go and see a movie and while your there have popcorn and ice cream! Or go to the gym or visit a friend. I know from my own experience when the temptation is there I'll do it. Like I said I'm probably the last person you should take advice from! Lol!

Good luck, hope things get better for you.
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Old 09-13-2012, 09:42 AM
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Ew, gross, I don't drink wine (I truly don't drink wine, but is it ok to poke fun at ourselves here and not seem insensitive about drinking)

Anyway, what kind of story do you want?
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Old 09-13-2012, 09:43 AM
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Any! Where you from, what do you do, what's the oddest thing you've done, do you have pets, a hobby, or a special talent? Hey, fill us in. Just don't drink!
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Old 09-13-2012, 10:17 AM
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I would get myself to an AA meeting. That's just me. I understand it's not for all people.

When I first got sober I went to at least one meeting everyday because I just didn't know what to do with myself.

Sorry you're hurting right now.
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Old 09-13-2012, 10:39 AM
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Let go and Let God!
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I would do the same as PaperDolls.

If that doesn't work for you what about reading a book? Keep yourself busy
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Old 09-13-2012, 10:42 AM
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All I can add is: I quit "by accident" (meaning i ran out of alcohol and found SR at the same time) and I was also deep in grieving over a death, all at once.

The other threads explain all our various hows and whats and whens for staying sober.

All i want you to know is this: That unplanned quit must have been the universe's gift.

Because sobriety is the best thing to ever happen to me.

Take it and run.
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Old 09-13-2012, 02:16 PM
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I was drank for two years after a breakup - it didn't help me get over my grief, it kept me stuck in it.

It's ok to feel sad - it's the natural reaction to a break up...we feel sad, we come to deal with the loss, and we move on.

If you do nothing else, stay on SR for a bit tonight

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Old 09-13-2012, 02:20 PM
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Hi Klia. I agree with Dee - pouring alcohol over our pain does nothing to help us heal. We have to allow ourselves to feel those emotions so we can recover and move on with the rest of our lives.

I'm sorry you are hurting. I understand the need to try and calm yourself down, but it ends up backfiring. I'm glad you came here to talk it over - we all care about you.
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Old 09-13-2012, 02:37 PM
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Have you tried any in person support groups? I am sure there is a support group such as AA or some other group happening tonight that you could attend to. If not, then there are always phone support lines that you can call into. In addition to this forum, in person support groups have been a lifesaver for me. Whatever you do, don't be alone, when we are Depressed, our bodies wrongly tell our brains that we should Isolate, Infact Isolation is the #1 worst thing one can do when grieving or Depressed.

What really helped/helps me when I am down, is helping others. Serving soup at a soup kitchen or volunteering at a homeless shelter, is a great way to get out of our own minds and help others. There are many organizations that are desperate for volunteers, volunteering really helps me, perhaps it will help you.

What also helped me while grieving, was finding a therapist to work through my grief with.

You can do this without drinking.
Remember the reasons why you stopped drinking or using, remember no matter how bad you feel, drinking will ultimately only make things much much worse in the long run.
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