Hevyn

Sapling I feel the same - I can't believe I clung to something so desperately that was bringing me nothing but misery. My belief that if I used enough willpower I could control it, almost killed me. There was no relief from anxiety and self-consciousness. I ended up isolating more than ever. Worst of all, I never learned to overcome my discomfort about myself - just stayed on hold for decades.

I see so many joining SR in their 20's and 30's - already aware of what needs to be done. I was still deeply in denial at that age. I commend you for doing what I never did. I made things so hard on myself, and threw away precious time. This won't be you.

DesperadoBlond

Sapling,

thank you so much for your comments. I know I'm lucky in the sense that I do KNOW I have a problem and I do KNOW that things will just get worse if I keep drinking.

I'm a very stubborn person and usually don't believe things before I see them/experience them for myself. Then one morning I wake up and I've changed my mind. I'm not saying this is the be all end all... But I'll try mu hardest. For the first time I think I'm honest when saying that.

DesperadoBlond

Hi Michelle!

So happy that you took the time to comment and happy to hear that I'm not alone in feeling like this. Many times I've been sp confused about why I feel so bad and what is wrong with me. It's easier to face up to all of it knowing there are others who identify with it all.

jobei

A big part of why alcohol increases anxiety levels is because if you drink in excess daily, like a 5th of vodka, your blood pressure becomes unregulated. This means that while you are drunk your blood pressure may be medium-high, when you take the alcohol out of your system (ie while you're sleeping) it will sky rocket to dangerous levels. This leads to shakes, blurred vision and worst of all, strokes and seizures -- all primary anxiety features. Lowering your blood pressure to normal levels will help greatly to relieve anxiety. If you drink in excess daily you will not be able to do this. God bless!

GirlFromCO

I wouldn't drop this. Especially if you're having panic attacks, there is something wrong here. That advice cracks me up. Maybe he should try to just imagine all his problems away too. He's probably thinking his patients don't get any better because they're not trying hard enough.

Go to a different doc and lay it all out - the drinking, the self medicating. Be honest about your past and tell them you don't want to end up dependent on another drug but you've got some problems that have led you back to drinking in the past. Tell them that other docs don't seem to think you have a problem but you clearly do and you need help. Don't take no for an answer - your health is serious stuff! Be open to different kinds of treatments. They probably won't have a magic pill that will make everything better but will have some solid suggestions for you to pursue. Good luck

PS, the AA advice is probably good to, I'm just not in AA so I can't say one way or the other. But it helps a LOT of people. If you're willing to help yourself people will climb mountains and swim oceans to help you help yourself.

DesperadoBlond

Hi! Thanks for responding!

Yeah, I've been to a couple of quite expensive shrinks (that stuff wasn't covered by my health insurance... so had to pay about 60 Euros / hour out of my own pocket... when I didn't even really have enough for my rent...) and my experience is... hummm... they like to sit and tilt their head... saying things like "And how did that make you feel...?"

I'm sure all that has its place, but when I asked them what I should start doing different in order to change my life around, they seemed short for ideas really.

In the country where I live now, health care is supposedly pretty much free for everyone. HOWEVER, to see a shrink you first need to see a regular doctor and get him/her two write a request for you to see a psychiatrist. I tried this route a few months back and was pretty much insulted by the doctor who said I was taking up his time for nothing. He refused to petition for me to see a psychiatrist. Alcoholism was not his table, he said.

But yes, you are right, I should not take no for an answer. I will try and contact a superior instead and get the help I need...

GirlFromCO

Absolutely! Trying to get through life on your own without help when you are mentally ill (as I am - I don't believe there is a stigma. It's an illness.) is like trying to go through life with a broken arm. Just because they can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist but they are treating you like you're making it up. Get pushy if you have to, or save up to see someone who is willing to help. Just don't give up. (On a side note, there's probably no easier way to get a male doctor to decide a female patient is mentally ill than for that female patient to be too pushy and demanding. Haha!)

I've heard a lot of stories about how someone went to the doctor because something just didn't feel right. That doctor told them they were fine, but they didn't feel right so they went to another one and the next one said the same thing, and the next one... but eventually they see a doctor who is like "Oh my god, you've got blahblah! How could they have missed it?!" Someone I knew personally had 2 doctors completely miss her breast cancer before the 3rd one figured it out. She actually had a lump in her breast and everything. I'm not saying you have cancer! Just that doctors don't always catch everything, even when it's obvious.

It's frustrating because anxiety/panic/mental illness is so common that doctors SHOULD be able to deal with it, but a lot can't. So keep going until you find someone who can. YOU know that something isn't right!

Dee74

I saw a counsellor too, but I found some help for my anxiety on this site DB

Calm Clinic

D